To treat my daughter the (younger) age she acts?

[NotaDisneyMum]

DD10 tried to sneak the uneaten crusts from her school lunchbox into the rubbish bin without me seeing AGAIN today - she knows full well that I expect food to be eaten, not wasted.

I have told her that the next time I find out it happens - I'll give her a packed lunch suitable for a much younger child; one of an age who I'd accept leaving their crusts.

We've had sulks, stomps and 'it's not fair'.

AIBU? Tbh, it wouldn't bother me if she managed to work out that she can chuck them away at school (I'm guessing that the staff won't let her) but bringing them home and throwing them away infront of me really irks -

[Lonnie]

op has imo well so solved the original problem I have to say I do not get why people are getting at her for chosing to have some morals in what she purchases she has her reasons.

I have boycut Nestle for 11 years and if my children wanted to try a kitkat they would be told no. I do not wish for my money to be spend on that company They accept this. I do not deny them the right to have it if we go elsewhere but the money dh and I earn are not to be spend on those products.

Why is it any different what op is doing? her dd wont be permanently damaged by it she will grow up learning that we sometimes have to take a stand for what we belive in. My kids unlike what many belive are not damaged by never having tasted smarties in their own home.

[mumnosbest]

DS 6 always left his crusts so we've compromised, he now makes the effort to eat half of his crusts. Sometimes he forgets and eats the whole lot.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Thanks Sue - I assumed it was insulting, but it went over my head - I have no idea what "About a Boy" is

As I said - lesson learned; I'll stay away from AIBU. This newbie learnt her lesson the hard way

[lovemyskinnyjeans]

Of course I have at times said I'd like them to finish crusts, veg, whatever. But not to the point of forcing them, or posting on here about it for that matter...

[LolaRennt]

Yanbu! FFS most kids don't like crusts but then your mum says suck it up and eat them. And then you grow up. We all did it once.

[SuePurblybilt]

Yes, skinnyjeans, it is. Well done.

My point was that she is being flamed for what I believe most parents have said to their children at some point. And I don't think posting in AIBU justifies your comment that she reminds you of 'that dreadful mother from About A Boy'. Tbh, that's offensive.

[thisisyesterday]

see i have a problem in that i prefer to buy organic. but more often than not i find i have a choice between organic OR british/local

then i find myself in a quandary

[lovemyskinnyjeans]

Um, she did post in AIBU...and clearly a lot of people think she is. Isn't that the point of this forum?

[TheOriginalFAB]

YABU

I used to try and make my children eat crusts and then I decided one day - after reading an unrelated to food thread on here - that not eating crusts isn't a crime and the kids don't have to eat them if they don't want.

[SuePurblybilt]

I think the OP is getting a rough ride here tbh. She may have worded some posts in an unfortunate way but she seems to have got some backs up for no reason.

Not buying particular, expensive yoghurts for one family member - has nobody else said something along those lines to their children? Moaning about children not eating crusts or fruit 'skin' - it's hardly unheard of, is it? I don't get why she's getting the grilling she is, I really don't.

And if they've made decisions based on ethical beliefs - why on earth is that a problem? All the posters that announced they boycotted Nestle on a thread the other week - would you all cave if your ten year old demanded a KitKat?

[lovemyskinnyjeans]

"My choice doesn't extend beyond food at the moment - my reasons are that imported food is older than locally grown and irradiated/treated to keep it artificially fresh - I prefer to eat local, and explain to DD the reasons why so she can make her own decisions."

But if, when she makes her own decisions (e.g. wafer thin ham) you override them, how is that benefitting her? You are controlling and somehow remind me of that dreadful mother in 'About a Boy'.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Sequins, if she lived with me full time , I'd probably agree with you - but she has a very different diet half the time when she's with her dad.
It's not like she's never tasted pizzahut, or is denied variety; it's just not mainstream supermarket brands on a day-to-day basis!

[lovemyskinnyjeans]

Would that be Greek yoghurt, then, or Greek style yoghurt?

[SequinsAndSparkles]

Well, you sound like a hoot.

But seriously, you may want to gently start allowing her to make at least some decisions as to what she eats, otherwise you may find that when she is able to buy food of her own, choose for herself she will eat nothing but crap and all of the things she was denied. You are promoting an unhealthy attitude IMO.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Yesterday - yes, I buy as much food as possible grown/raised by local producers - and we grow loads too.

We eat seasonally, fresh fruit and veg varies depending on what's available - DD and I went mackerel fishing over half term for dinner, too

Funnily enough, it's the simple things that make it more challenging - last years onion crop failed in the uk, so British onions are impossible to find at the moment!

My choice doesn't extend beyond food at the moment - my reasons are that imported food is older than locally grown and irradiated/treated to keep it artificially fresh - I prefer to eat local, and explain to DD the reasons why so she can make her own decisions.

[HipHopOpotomus]

Some people don't like crusts. Often it's the mankiest of the bread and worse there in so filling. YABU and quite controlling in forcing her to ear them.

[NotaDisneyMum]

No, Greek yoghurt isn't all imported - there's a local dairy that make a fabulous one, that I add seasonal fruits too

[sweetness86]

My mom used to make me eat meat as a child like pork, lamb etc she knew I didnt like meat like that I only liked chicken but no I got made to eat it.
I used to wrap it in tissue when she wasnt looking and flush down the toilet! Now I still cant eat the meat mainly because i remember I was forced to eat it and now I gag at any other meat other than chicken great way to give your child a complex about food !
Its totally out of order and your child seems scared of you making a big deal of it makes it worse !

[sweetness86]

OMFG heard it all now!

[tazmin]

I thank the Lord every day I read this forum that I was blessed with sensible parents who made rational and sensible decisions :)

[ZombiePlan]

You say that you won't buy anything that goes against your beliefs (which is fine - I wouldn't buy non-free range meat, for instance, no matter now much I was nagged) - but I don't see why you'd then let your DD buy it. I wouldn't have non-free-range meat in the house, regardless of who paid for it.

You can get free range organic wafer thin ham. Also I don't see a problem with strawberry yoghurt. TBH it does come across a little bit as though you won't buy her food she likes "because".

[michglas]

you are being completely unreasonable, do you want to giver her food issues? Why not just cut the crusts off and feed them to the birds? I have awful memories of not being allowed to leave the dinner table until i had eating everything including stuff i hated such as sweetcorn and brussel sprouts. Even now as an adult, I can't stand the smell or sight of these foods amongst others - they make me heave.

[thisisyesterday]

so you won't buy greek yoghurt because it's imported?

do you really only buy uk produce? all thet ime? clothes as well?

am genuinely interested btw as i would love to only buy british but find it very difficult

[NotaDisneyMum]

I not sure this is the right place to get into a debate about the ethics of intensive farming and food importation - they are my views, and I stand by them.

The crusts are no longer an issue - thank you for all the constructive advice (from some) and I'll be staying away from AIBU in future as it seems that the rules DON'T apply here, no matter what the intro says