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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want baby to be a boy because it'll make bedroom arrangements sooooo much easier? Having a girl is going to make life difficult!

57 replies

KidderminsterKate · 28/06/2011 12:06

I've voiced this to a few people but they seem to think its an odd reason! Also I have lots of boys stuff whereas my girls baby clothes are long gone. DS is my only son, have 3 girls so another boy would 'balance' the family out as well.

If I think about it, I'm actually worried that baby might be a girl.......

OP posts:
worraliberty · 28/06/2011 12:08

It's a very common reason. Not odd at all.

NoobyNoob · 28/06/2011 12:09

YABU.

Honeslty, what a truly odd thing to say. You're worried that the baby might be a girl?

FFS

upahill · 28/06/2011 12:09

Are you going to find out before hand or are you a 'wait and see'

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 28/06/2011 12:09

Well, they are practical things to consider, aren't they?

I am sure you will be thrilled with your baby, regardless of gender, and bedroom arrangments won't matter.

And boys baby clothes go as well on a girl as a boy. Don't worry about it.

Are you planning on finding out the gender at the scan if you can?

stillstanding · 28/06/2011 12:09

well obviously if you really want the baby to be a boy and are genuinely worried about it being a girl then that is unreasonable.

but if you are just saying "wouldn't it be nice and convenient to have a boy for silly admin reasons" then sure ... makes sense but not reasonable iyswim

Original poster
KidderminsterKate · 28/06/2011 12:19

yes I think I will find out. Ideally I'd prefer not to but given the practicalities of my situation I think I need some time to ponder what to do - should it be a girl.

so yes - I am worried it might be a girl!

OP posts:
childfreeatm · 28/06/2011 13:07

Are you for real? You should have sued a condom if this is your attitude.

effingwotnots · 28/06/2011 13:09

Just find out. Then you'll have several weeks to decide where to put everyone. Won't baby be in with you for months anyway?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 28/06/2011 13:17

YANBU for thinking a boy would be easier but def BU if you are "worried" about having a girl. A healthy baby is what you should be hoping for!

pantsandpup · 28/06/2011 13:19

YABU unreasonable to be "worried" about having a girl..... Personally I'm more worried about having another mc.

Original poster
KidderminsterKate · 28/06/2011 13:25

well yes a healthy baby goes without saying surely..never heard of anyone wanting a poorly one Hmm

and yes I am for real - is it really so hard to beleive that someone may have a preference for one gender over another?

Either way I plan to have baby with me for up to 12 mths but its really the longterm implications that are of concern. I have a 3 bedroom house, 2 doubles and a single. My girls all share a room in bunks and a single...they are 8/8/7 but will be 9/9/8 by time baby is born. I could swop single for another double but the age difference between the older 3 and baby would make this arrangement awkward.

DS is in the single. He's nearly 5 so if it were a boy I could have bunks in his room and the age gap isnt so great.

I also think that DS would benefit from having another male around. So fingers crossed its a boy!

OP posts:
MinnieBar · 28/06/2011 13:30

Why can't the baby just go in with your DS when it's old enough regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl?

Debs75 · 28/06/2011 13:34

YANBU, a,little insensitive maybe. But you are entitled to feel like this just some people like pantsandpup will be offended

When I had dc3 I desperately wanted a girl as ds had autism and I had it in my head that a girl would be less likely to have autism.

When I had dc4 I wasn't too bothered, a girl would mean less to spend on clothes as dc3 was indeed a girl. A boy would even things out and would of got us a house move with the council. I left finding out and would go through days when I was convinced she was a girl or he was a boy. In the end she was a girl so we saved on buying new clothes but are now cramped in the house.

inthesticks · 28/06/2011 13:35

YANBU.You are being perfectly practical. This is your 4th child so you won't be as sentimental as you were for the first.
I had a surprise (boy) first time but with my second pregnancy I knew I really wanted another boy. I never told anyone that because obviously it was only a preference . I found out at the scan because I thought I would like time to get used to the prospect of a girl.
It was a boy.Smile

Original poster
KidderminsterKate · 28/06/2011 14:01

yes..perhaps my mistake is voicing any sort of preference to anyone! It is absolutely for practical reasons.

And I mean no offensive to anybody suffering from infertility or mc's. I have every sympathy for that sort of situation. A very dear friend of mine has been trying for years to no avail and my heart goes out to her.

But its a bit disengenous to suggest that one can't complain about a sprained ankle because someone else had to have their leg amputated.

OP posts:
dementedma · 28/06/2011 15:19

even if baby is a girl and has to go in with DS, you will have a few years before it becomes a problem. Due to lack of space, DS had to go in with DD2 when he moved out of our room so we had a 9 year old girl in with a 1 year old boy. not so bad then, but project to 16 year old girl with 8 year old boy!!
happy days - NOT!!!

foodjunkie · 28/06/2011 22:11

I'm with pantsandpup

Not wasting any more of my time on threads like this.

michelleseashell · 28/06/2011 22:28

I think some people are being a bit harsh. You are not being unreasonable.

It's like, how dare you complain about not having room in your house when people are on the streets!

Rockerchic · 28/06/2011 22:34

So if it's a girl what then?
Adoption?
Just be thankful you can have a baby and your baby will be healthy, some women would do anything to be where you are now.

chipmonkey · 28/06/2011 22:59

YANBU. I have four boys. If you have a girl, I'll take her!Grin

skybluepearl · 28/06/2011 23:06

I can understand where you are coming from and am sure you will love who ever arrives. i was happy to have a boy or girl. A boy because it would be more economical and a girl would be fun as it would be a change.

itsastrawpoll · 28/06/2011 23:13

YABU to 'want' one or the other.

You get what you are given and that should be enough.

cerealqueen · 28/06/2011 23:19

I'm sure you will deal with any practicalities as and when they arise. There is nothing you can do, this worrying is pointless as you can't affect the outcome one way or the other. Please, just stop worrying and enjoy whatever you are given.

skybluepearl · 28/06/2011 23:28

ask your nursery if they can help in anyway? explain the situation. there maybe one or two girls that could come to your house and cover in an emergency. my friend runs a nursery and is often asked if the staff can babysit. she is always more than willing if staff are Ok with it.

DirtyMartini · 28/06/2011 23:36

YABU, surely a girl baby could share with your DS just as comfortably as a boy. It would be in no way different - it's a baby! It would be several years before it mattered at all.

Your 'problem' seems to just be your perception that little boys and girls can't share - not based on practical realities.