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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want baby to be a boy because it'll make bedroom arrangements sooooo much easier? Having a girl is going to make life difficult!

57 replies

KidderminsterKate · 28/06/2011 12:06

I've voiced this to a few people but they seem to think its an odd reason! Also I have lots of boys stuff whereas my girls baby clothes are long gone. DS is my only son, have 3 girls so another boy would 'balance' the family out as well.

If I think about it, I'm actually worried that baby might be a girl.......

OP posts:
Karbea · 28/06/2011 23:38

Why don't you move into a bigger house, then you'll have room for the new baby and your 3 girls.

I'd love any healthy baby, so I think yabu tbh Sad

A1980 · 28/06/2011 23:38

YABU

I'm worried about ever having children at all. But you're worried you might have a baby girl Confused

You shouldn't have got pregnant at all if having the wrong sex is so inconvenient.

Ripeberry · 28/06/2011 23:48

Does not matter.A tiny baby does not CARE what colour it's room is. Just say you have gone retro and doing it the traditional way. Blue for girls and pink for boys Grin.
A friend of mine, dressed their girl in boys clothes until she was 2yrs old.
She is still 'girly'
Just be glad of what you have.

MrBloomsNursery · 28/06/2011 23:57

I plan to dress my baby (if its a boy) in all his big sister's clothes. I don't care - he will be in pink and tights and dresses in the summer. Babies don't care what clothes they wear or what colour their room is. YADBU. Most people worry about the health of their child, not the sex Hmm.

cloudydays · 29/06/2011 01:21

YANBU to think about practicalities and to have a preference for the thing that would make life more straightforward. YANBU to hope for your DS's sake that he has a brother.

YABVVVU to compare having a baby girl to breaking your ankle rather than having your leg amputated. It's not a lesser misfortune than infertility, for Christ's sake; it's not a misfortune at all.

LolaRennt · 29/06/2011 02:59

YABU, and a tad insensitive. What cloudydays says is right. Just be happy you are lucky enough to be pregnant with a wanted child of either gender

giraffesCantZumba · 29/06/2011 03:30

Why oh why do I even open threads like this? Are you jealous op? - I had a girl. Oh but she died before birth. "Dinny be a winge" as I say to the weans.

nooka · 29/06/2011 05:35

Bedroom arrangements are going to be an issue whatever you do as it sounds like you are already quite crowded. I don't imagine that your girls would take too kindly to sharing their room with another very much younger child regardless of their sex, so the new baby will be in with your boy, although I can't imagine he will like that very much either as a five year age gap is pretty large too. Generally speaking I'd say that it shouldn't really matter about sharing a room with a child of the opposite sex until puberty, so you should be OK on that front for another 5 years or so, although a seven/eight year isn't really going to enjoy sharing a room with a toddler, regardless of their gender. Still I imagine by that time you'll be enjoying managing three teenage girls in one bedroom so it might be the least of your worries.

Your analogy was really crass.

nagynolonger · 29/06/2011 06:01

Oh yes!

What fun it was being the eldest of 4 girls all sharing one bedroom. I was always [jealous] of my DB box room.

I think some of you are giving the OP a hard time. I would have loved DC6 to have been a girl but it doesn't mean I love the son that was born any less than my other 4 DS or their sister.

Bedrooms won't be a problem for a few years as others have said. In the long term is there anyway you can extend or convert a downstairs room into a bedroom and build a conservatory for extra living space?

ragged · 29/06/2011 06:11

I think that's one of the better reasons for having a gender preference, OP. Probably far more sensible reasoning than the likes of me who merely wanted a "balanced" family ("2 of each"). I didn't get it, either :).

fwiw, I know families who have mixed gender bedrooms well beyond starting school age, they make it work. I'm sure you'll manage.

MmeLindor. · 29/06/2011 06:11

Some of you are a bit harsh.

I have had several m/c and know the pain they bring. It doesn't stop me understanding the issues that the OP has.

A boy would be "easier" to accommodate in their house. From a practical point of view.

I am sorry that some were upset by this thread, but we cannot stop a poster speculating and worrying about how to house her growing family. trying to fit 7 people in a 3-bed house is difficult.

deemented · 29/06/2011 06:22

I'm in a similar situation to you. I have two DS's and SDS who all share a room. DD has a room of her own, the boxroom.

I'm currently pregnant again, and very much hoping this one will be a sticky. I don't care what flavour it is, just as long as it lives. We'll find somewhere for him or her. Yes, practicalities dictate that it'd be easier if it were a girl, but frankly i don't care.

I think YABalittleU.

PeggyCarter · 29/06/2011 06:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rockerchic · 29/06/2011 07:52

Some of us are not being harsh some of us have had problems conceiving. I've had 2 miscarriages since DD and I'd love another baby but it's not going to happen so a baby of any sex I would be a wonderful gift, so count yourself lucky :)

Cat98 · 29/06/2011 08:31

For goodness sake, in the nicest possible way, the op is allowed to have a slight preference without being taken on a huge guilt trip! Yes, we know people have problems conceiving/mcs/babies with health problems, and my god it must be awful and no-one would wish it on anyone. But I don't think the op is saying she cares more about the sex than the health of her baby! If I moan i'm poor because we earn 13 grand a year between us, am I crass and insensitive because there are homeless people? No, i'm entitled to a moan sometimes, and of course i'm grateful for a roof over our heads. Let her voice her worries, people. If it upsets you, don't read it - it was obvious from the thread title.

nenevomito · 29/06/2011 08:41

With three older girls and a younger boy I can see why you'd prefer to have another boy - so YANBU.

Agree with MmeLindor!

melikalikimaka · 29/06/2011 08:44

YABU Shock

LisasCat · 29/06/2011 08:47

I completely understand your feelings, OP. We have a DD and when we found out the one I'm currently expecting is another DD it meant that we will be able to stay in our our 2 bedroom house for years longer than we would have been able to if I had been expecting a boy (if it had been a DS my cut off would have been 3 years before DD started to be bodily aware and embarrassed about sharing with a brother, who would also have been at the point of understanding gender differences). I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. And sorry to people who've had trouble conceiving but I don't think that means that people who do manage to conceive should never express anything but blissful happiness with the rest of their lot.

hellospoon · 29/06/2011 08:54

I think everyone has totally got the wrong end of the stick here! I think the op was being tongue in cheek..

Of course she doesn't mind if she has a boy or a girl, she's just saying a boy would be easier!!

Have none of you said oh I really hope its a girl/boy when asked what you would like to have??

Get a grip people and take your chill pills.

MmeLindor. · 29/06/2011 09:48

Rockerchic
I have had three miscarriages (not that I am playing mc top trumps) and I still understand what the OP is saying. I do think it is too harsh to tell the OP she should be grateful to be pregnant.

Even when I finally did stay pregnant past the horrible 12 weeks point, I still expressed a preference for a girl. Not because I would not have accepted, loved, adored a little boy, but because I thought I would cope better with a girl. No idea where that idea came from and as it turned out I have been blessed with one of each sex.

The OP didn't say that she would hate to have another girl, just that a boy would - from a practical side of things - be easier to slot into the house.

Of course she will find a solution if she is having a girl, she will find that space in her house.

Rockerchic · 29/06/2011 10:27

I know Mme. I was lucky to get pregnant easy with DD but had problems since so me and DP have decided to not try anymore as neither of us can go through anymore heartache and we are grateful we have DD as she's wonderful :)
The OP was probably saying things Tongue in cheek and I wish her well with her pregnancy

MmeLindor. · 29/06/2011 10:47

Sorry to hear that, Rockerchic. Secondary infertility is much misunderstood, I think.

icooksocks · 29/06/2011 10:53

When I was pregnant with DC3, I also said a boy would be easier than a girl for practicality reasons. It doesnt make me a bad mother, and if DC3 had been a girl then all would have worked out anyway-it alwas does. But as it turns out DC3 was indeed a boy.

childfreeatm · 29/06/2011 11:39

"yes I think I will find out. Ideally I'd prefer not to but given the practicalities of my situation I think I need some time to ponder what to do - should it be a girl.

so yes - I am worried it might be a girl!"

This sounded to me like you are thinking of getting rid?

If you haven't got the space for another child why don't you move? And if you can't afford to move why did you get pregnant in the first place?
It seems silly to have more and more kids when you don't have room to house them (or potentially money to provide a larger house, obvs I don't know your situation with regards to cash!).

It's not unreasonable to want one sex more than another, it's the shallow reasoning behind this and my perception of what the quote above means that I find shocking. (Apologies to the OP if I have misunderstood your intentions with the above quote)

Cat98 · 29/06/2011 11:53

Childfreeatm - I think she was saying she'd have to ponder what to do with regard to bedrooms etc!