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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give up work and take a leap of faith.......

26 replies

slipperandpjsmum · 27/06/2011 13:56

I have been juggling ft work with a family for a few years now and am totally worn out. I am now off work ill, the doctor says I should "take a serious look at my life".

I don't want to go back to the long hours even longer commute, high stress and time away from my family.

I have been thinking about setting up my own business. But I am worried about taking the chance. I have lost alot of confidence over the last few months and think thats part of why I am uncertain.

Has anyone else left a stressful job because they wanted a better balance to their lives?

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 27/06/2011 13:59

Take a leap of faith!

Your health has to take top priority.

It'll all work out in the end - somehow :)

tazmin · 27/06/2011 14:00

if you dont do it for yourself, do it for a better life for your kids

MrsKravitz · 27/06/2011 14:01

I wish I could do this. If you have the financial support to go without your job for a while, do it :)

itisnearlysummer · 27/06/2011 14:02

Take a leap of faith.

Have you got an idea for your own business or are you in the very early stages?

You may well find your confidence returns as soon as you begin to plan for this.

swash · 27/06/2011 14:02

Yes I have and so has DH - at separate times. When I did, I didn't have dcs. I encouraged him to do it (before our dcs arrived). It's been tough - very tough - at various points, but I have never regretted it.

Original poster
slipperandpjsmum · 27/06/2011 14:05

Thanks everyone. Yes, itisnearlysummer I have an idea for the business and you are right it has started to make me feel a bit better as I begin planning. Its just a worry to give up a regular income. We don't have any savings to put into the business although the start up costs will be low.

OP posts:
grinningbee · 27/06/2011 14:13

YANBU Take a leap of faith. If your family support you, go for it! If it works, brilliant, and if it makes you happy and healthier then so much the better.

Dh gave up a very stressful job a few years ago, and a few months afterwards I gave up a very eyewateringly boring job too. We ended up doing markets, craft fairs and country shows. Had our good and bad days, and some fantastic memories... like the time a hawk at a country show flew off course on a display and ended up hanging upside down in our stall, talons sunk into a cuddly sheep!

In the end, it didn't work out. But we had almost 3 years at it, made plenty of new friends and we will go back to the craft fairs again when the dc are a bit bigger.

You really have nothing to lose by trying it.

Smile
slug · 27/06/2011 14:15

I was only commenting last night how I much prefer the low-paid non-stressed DH I have now to the stressed out and depressed but higher paid one I had before DD was born.

Sod the money, happiness and health are priceless.

venusandmars · 27/06/2011 14:29

I am self-employed and I love it. Flexibility, happiness, less stress. But I'd suggest asking yourself a few questions:

  • is the new business something you really feel attracted towards (rather than just a means of getting away from your current high stress job)?
  • do you have the skills to run a business, as well as the skills required in the business (e.g. are you organised enough to do your own book keeping, can you sell yourself, do have have marketing skills, can you set up a web / blog / whatever is needed IT-wise)?
  • are you tenacious enough to keep on going after a small rejection or set-back?
  • do you have a good support network around you to keep you motivated, and help you if things get tough?

If it's yes to all of those, then get on with exploring where / how you would market your business, who your customers would be, who else it trying to sell things to them, how much time / money it would take to crete your products or services, how much you could expect people to pay for it, the cost of planning, developing, creating sales materials, marketing. And lo and behold you've got most of the way through your business plan.

Enjoy!

aldiwhore · 27/06/2011 14:32

Get the plan in the bag and jump.

Deciding to start your own business is one thing (I do it every week) but getting a workable idea down on paper that will give you an income in thenear future is where MY ideas tend to flop lol.

If you have the idea, and you think its workable, leap... giant leap!!

Original poster
slipperandpjsmum · 27/06/2011 14:32

Slug thats so true about happiness and health. Whilst I have been at home (albeit off sick) I have felt much happier once my stress levels have reduced!

OP posts:
Original poster
slipperandpjsmum · 27/06/2011 14:38

Loved that post aldiwhore!!!

venusandmars thanks for the ideas. I can't say yes to them all eg know nothing about bookeeping but can say yes to the others. Is that enough of a majority to give it a shot?? I do love to learn new skills!

OP posts:
Insomnia11 · 27/06/2011 14:41

How about working part time while you set up the business?

I'm about to quit work and set up three businesses!

One is a franchise so I'll get training and a lot of help with the business - at a cost of course. I'll have to stop working to do this one.

One is party plan - commission only so no risk and I can do it while I'm working.

One is completely my own and I can do it while I'm working in the day.

So the idea is there is a transitional period where I'll be starting up my business/earning some extra cash around my job then I give my notice in.

I'll probably end up working more hours than I do now but with no additional childcare (other than school/nursery) required but it fits better round family life, and basically I have to do it for my own health and sanity.

Original poster
slipperandpjsmum · 27/06/2011 14:49

Insomnia11 I had thought about doing sleeping nights which I did years ago prior to becoming qualified, that way I would be earning some money whilst in the early days of the business.

Where I work there are no pt jobs. I have looked into transferring into another team but there is nothing at the moment and I don't feel I can wait very long.

I did consider franchise but I don't have the money to invest. Think I would have felt less anxious doing it this way as there is the support. Do you mind me asking what area of business the franchise is in?

OP posts:
itisnearlysummer · 27/06/2011 15:11

The problem with franchises is that you're still working for someone else. Franchises have targets and restrictions and you have to do it their way. It's not as flexible as working for yourself.

And you have to pay them!

which means you have to make more.

itisnearlysummer · 27/06/2011 15:12

Good luck with your plan!

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 27/06/2011 15:21

Another one saying go for it! - and saying it from a position of experience.

I reached burn-out late last year (full-time job crammed into part-time hours; two children and a house to run; signed off sick with stress) and eventually accepted it was time to make a change. Leaving to work for myself was the best decision I have made since we decided to start a family.

Keep reminding yourself that you need to do this. Your doctor is telling you that things need to change. That's just about the biggest warning sign you could have.

Best of luck!

GabbyLoggon · 27/06/2011 15:28

BELIEVE? then take ze leap

Original poster
slipperandpjsmum · 27/06/2011 15:29

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias thanks for that. Can I ask did you go back to work after being signed off or did you work your notice whilst off sick?

OP posts:
giveitago · 27/06/2011 15:58

Slipper - if you're gp is questioning your current situation then that's pretty much it. Leap of faith to have a potentially better quality of life even if it means less money and it's a risk. Or carry on as your are destroying your heath.

Go for it. You can weigh up the risks (there are always risks) and even if it means downsizing a bit it all good.

Not in your situation but I used to work awful hours and so did dh. We were on the IVF lists and I decided that 6 v. tired hours together would not produce a kid. I jacked in work (not an easy decision) and it worked - we had a kid just before our IVF appointments. We are not financially well off now (I was a older mum) and career is now over and I have a little job with little money but I have what I want which was to be a parent. I'll never compromise family for work again.

Original poster
slipperandpjsmum · 29/06/2011 07:43

I have now been to see Business Link and although our discussion went ok once I got home and read all the literature everything started feeling very overwhelming.

I just don't see how I can do it - wonder if its something to do with feeling very run down.

Now I just don't know what to do. All the previous postings I received left me feeling very positive. Now I feel lost!!

Any advice?

OP posts:
lesley33 · 29/06/2011 08:00

I think if you can manage financially without your wage then go for it. If you can't, it is a really difficult time to be launching a new business. Not saying not to do it, but you do need to think very carefully about it.

Also make sure you are not seeing running a business through rose tinted spectacles. I have a friend who was made redundant, couldn't get another job in her field, so set up her own business.

She will now, after running it for 3 years, say she is totally fed up with it. She is very stressed about it and her work varies from very very long hours for a few weeks and then very little for the 3rd week. It depends on the nature of the business, but if you are dependent on clients you don't always have that much flexibility over when you do your work. She also didn't anticipate having to chase up debtors - she has had to threaten legal action a few times, although never needed to go through with it.

Another option is to look for a lower paid less stressful job. I know people who have done this and although they have less money coming in, they have never regretted it. Although if you do this be careful that you understand the nature of the job you are applying for. Some low paid jobs can be very stressful.

MrsKravitz · 29/06/2011 08:13

Just do it (again). I feel resentful because I have to work for someone else to support my family. My husband has the luxury of being able to run his own business, knowing my income is always there to support us. I feel like im the only one not able to do what I want. Just do it and be free and no regrets.

TheMitfordsMaid · 29/06/2011 08:17

I think it must be common to have feelings of doubt. There is a lot to do. Why don't you break down what needs to be done to set up your business into small chunks, and set yourself a timetable.

Working for myself is the best thing I have ever done!

PaintedToenails · 29/06/2011 15:24

Do it! If you have the money to be able to do it, then DO IT!

I was a theatre sister up until last year near London and we had a heavy on-call rota and some of the cases could last up to 24 hours if they were very complex and, if you had the bad luck to be on call that night, you would be stood there for every hour of them. I loved the job but eventually it became clear that the work/life balance was less than favourable.

Luckily, the amount of overtime I had to put in (and the lack of time I had to myself to actually spend any of it...) meant I had quite a lot saved up to fall back on, so after some deliberation, I decided the only was was out. I took nine months out, not working at all and have now decided that nursing is no longer the career for me. I have a job and am going to start some Open University courses later this year, hopefully resulting in a whole new career.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

xxx

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