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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really dislike having overnight guests?

65 replies

Carrotsandcelery · 26/06/2011 21:21

We have just been visited by my dh's sister and her boyfriend.

I am completely shattered and feel like my weekend has been stolen from me.

I like them both but find having them in my house overwhelming and so tiring.

Am I alone or does anyone else loathe having people to stay overnight?

OP posts:
mummyosaurus · 26/06/2011 21:25

I have got used to it.

I always accept offers of help, mil does the ironing, and offers to bring food, babysit and so on.

Try to use it as an excuse to get some bottles of wine open and sometimes we spend the evening playing cards which is fun.

Hope you have a relaxing evening tonight.

SinicalSal · 26/06/2011 21:25

Me, I hate it. Too long.

especially the morning. I even dislike DH and the kids around me in the morning, never mind anyone else.
I also hate going as an overnigt guest to other people. Polite chit chat.

HidinginaHardHat · 26/06/2011 21:25

YANBU i hate it. I'm a very antisocial hardhat though and my weekends are precious to me and my family.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 26/06/2011 21:28

I thought I was the only one. Much as I love my friends, a few hours or possibly a day at a time is enough when hosting.

And don't get me started about going on holiday with other families.

bubblecoral · 26/06/2011 21:31

YANBU, I hate having people to stay too, and I am usually very sociable.

It's the actual going to bed bit when there are other people in the house that I don't like. I don't want to have to sleep with our bedroom door closed so that guests don't see us nekkid, and I hate having to be nice first thing in the morning. All I want to do is have my usual coffee and veg on a Sunday morning, rather than feel obliged to do bacon sandwiches, fried eggs and the like in our tiny kitchen when I don't even want them.

mistressploppy · 26/06/2011 21:31

DH and I were discussing this the other night. It's like the final taboo Grin. Glad we're not the only ones.

deliciousdevilwoman · 26/06/2011 21:31

I never have people stay over, but if I did, I would hate it! I find having visitors stressful, tbh. It's stress and pressure I put on myself, however. My house has to be immaculate and I go into a shopping/cooking frenzy/panic. I much prefer to be a polite, thoughtul and considerate guest-who comes armed with nice things and knows when to leave!

Andrewofgg · 26/06/2011 21:34

Hospitality - making people feel at home when you wish they were!

luminary · 26/06/2011 21:40

Totally NBU. I like the idea of being sociable and having weekend guests, but in reality, I don't sleep well with relative strangers in the house, and I always wake early so that I can be 'on' by the time they get up and demand are provided with a full cooked breakfast.

I'm so tired after guests have left that I need a weekend to recover. Not worth it, tbh. I'm getting to the age where I'm okay with being an unsociable git. I think I should just embrace it now.

glassescase · 26/06/2011 21:41

I hate it too. Can't wait to get rid.
And as for holidays...onl did it once (in same house) and realised we had VERY different ideas on child rearing.

maighdlin · 26/06/2011 21:42

I don't think yabu as its very much a personal individual thing you would have to having guests over. i otoh love love having visitors. in fact am just doing up my guest room. i have guest towels and toiletries (that's actually a bit weird admitting it) i go all out for guests, maybe hospitality is my calling not law. i just find it an honour that people want to stay in my house, and even better come back. i get in breakfast stuff and would never have them do anything (except best friend who can make tea and help himself in the kitchen). however i can see why some people would find it hell.

SackRussell · 26/06/2011 21:42

Yep, same here - cannot stand guests in any shape or form, due to all the hard work involved and inconvenience. On the other hand, when I stay over at someone elses house, they make it look so bloody easy. I think I am just not cut out to entertain/cater.

Pumpernickelcuntychops · 26/06/2011 21:46

I don't like it either if I'm honest, luckily we have a small cottage so can't accomidate anymore.

OnlyWantsOne · 26/06/2011 21:46

I vowed not to have any one stay after DP's friends turned up on a Friday and stayed til Sunday night when I was 37 weeks PG and they did NOTHING all weekend. Angry twats

MsInterpret · 26/06/2011 21:49

YABU. Having people to stay is great! You people need some new friends Wink

CocktailQueen · 26/06/2011 21:50

I love having friends to stay! But a lot of my friends live a distance away so have to stay. But they all have kids and help to cook/clean/wash up so are no trouble :) and anyway, I love invading their homes later too!

Eranu · 26/06/2011 21:52

I hate it too!

I am so used to my own space and I just hate not being able to go to bed whenever I want because there are people around. And the mornings, having to creep around and keep dd quiet. I have just had a particularly stressful set of guests to stay, all I wanted to do was go to bed at 8pm (non sleeping toddler = me knackered) but had to stay up past midnight watching the living room get messier and messier and the mound of washing up getting bigger and bigger.

I sound like a right royal grump but in my defence I live in a tiny flat so it gets crowded very easily.

Indigojohn · 26/06/2011 21:54

I did.

Until we bought a house with an annexe!
Tis excellent. They have their own flat and I leave bread, coffee etc in their kitchen and discourage joining us until ten ish!!

eurochick · 26/06/2011 21:58

I like it, as long as it isn't all the time. Mr euro's family are Irish so they need to stay overnight when they visit. I don't mind at all.

ChristinedePizan · 26/06/2011 22:03

I had some good guests the other day who got themselves showered and dressed before we got up. I don't do creeping around in the mornings - this is our house. And, dear guests, fyi, staying here does not mean you get a lie in while I take care of your children Angry

I don't care what they see me wearing, I have no shame. And I have no inclination to offer anything other than toast and cereal in the morning.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 26/06/2011 22:12

In-laws used to come and stay a lot, before we had children. Now we have no spare room and very noisy boys who like to get up early, they tend to stay in a B+B instead.

Key is not to make it too comfortable. My mum has a really comfy spare bedroom and cooks delicious meals for guests. She has lots and lots of visitors.

begonyabampot · 26/06/2011 22:12

i like people staying though hate the frantic cleaning before they arrive. Have had guests stay for 5 weeks before but luckily the house was big with loads of bathrooms which helps (as did the live in maid). Now we are back to small house/one bathroom and no maid it is a bit harder but still welcome them. I also expect my guests to feel at home and help themselves.

MsInterpret · 26/06/2011 22:19

I actually like the fact that people coming to stay makes me clean up the place. When my friends say 'oh your house is always so lovely and tidy!', I just smile...

begonyabampot · 26/06/2011 22:20

ha, ha exactly. The only time it gets a proper clean - i need folk to come stay more often! Grin

hormonalmum · 26/06/2011 22:28

Since I have had children I despise having overnight visitors. My attention is elsewhere.
I have filled my bedrooms with children to avoid having overnight guests - in particular the mil. My bf thinks this is hilarious.