To be worried about 3.5 yr olds social skills

[audreyroberts]

Hi

I am becoming concerned that my 3.5 year old does not seem to get on with his peers?
He goes to nursery 3 days a weeks and has done since he was one. At one point he was always mentioning another boy he played with, but a few months ago he came home and said this boy does not like him anymore and does not want to be his friend.

Anyway I have noticed that my son does not seem to want to sit with the other boys at breakfast when i drop him off and when I pick him up he is usually playing alone or more recently with his sister who is a year younger.

Last week I took him to the only party he has been invited to and all the other parents knew each other as they had met at other parties.
I felt upset by this and really concerned that he is not mixing well.

I have spoken to his key worker and they said he does play with the other children and there are no problems but I just cant help feeling upset that he is being left out and something must be wrong why he is not being invited to parties.

What can I do to help him mix better?
Thanks

3.5 is still very young, try not to worry too much. it is very common for them to be best friends with one and then another in a short space of time. The key worker would not lie to you, if they had any concerns they ould raise them with you.

You have to trust the key worker on this one.
My DD is the same age and has also never been invited to a birthday party, although I regularly see the little envelopes appear on other children's pegs. This doesn't surprise me as we have never "got into" the rounds of parties as we have never invited nursery kids to DD's parties (have hosted tiny affairs at home to save £).
If you want to get invited to parties the rule here seems to be to invite everyone first.

Chill out and leave him to do it in his own time. As QM said he's still very young, and children, like adults, enjoy the company of others to varying degrees.

Perhaps he prefers playing with his Sister because she's now become 'old enough to play with' if you see what I mean? Also, she could be his 'comfort' and 'link to home' when he's missing you.

Wait til he starts school and I'm sure all this will be a distant memory.

Though I have to say, some kids just prefer their own company and there's nothing wrong with that.

what skinny said

my eldest didnt mix very well even through secondary school, but thats just his personality

Sometimes it SEEMS as though they've been left out of parties when in fact the parents may already know one another...and only a few kids can be asked at times...if his key worker is happy try not to worry...the best solution is to invite a child over to play....with their parent....just stick a note in his bag..or ask at the pick up...the experience of playing outside nursery can really bond them.

My youngest has just turned four, and still plays a lot on her own or alongside other children.
My 10 year old dd was similar but now has a nice group of friends.
It may take your son a while to establish friends but try not to worry.once he is at school it may change.

I used to get upset as my DD never got invited to many parties, but then I realised that she has 3-4 really good friends, and alot of the time others get invited to parties, not because they are good friends of the party child, but just to make up numbers...and that's ok. If kids only invited their "best friends" it would certainly be alot cheaper!! She is 8 by the way.