Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a (minor but) turdy thing to do?

62 replies

MrsKravitz · 25/06/2011 08:35

DH got a box of heroes (plus a book and dvd) from ds (6) for father's day.
DH watched the dvd and ate the box of chocolates with DSS (16) last night. Dont think they even kept one for DS.

OP posts:
Tryharder · 25/06/2011 08:41

Wouldn't bother me. Although my DH did someone at my work a favour. That person gave me a box of chocs to give to DH and I didn't even give them to DH but ate the lot. So, probably not the best person to ask really.

Original poster
MrsKravitz · 25/06/2011 08:43

Sorry, last night after ds went to bed (left that out)

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 25/06/2011 08:43

So he can buy your DS something yummy to say thank you for being a fab son. He probably didn't even think, just slumped and munched.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 25/06/2011 08:45

The children give him chocolate sometimes and never expect to get some back. Really can't see the problem. Why should your DS expect something back?

squeakytoy · 25/06/2011 08:45

So he got bought some chocs for Fathers day and ate them, sharing some with a person who happened to be there at the time..... really not seeing the problem here at all.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/06/2011 08:45

Can't see a problem. But then I have a father who, though a fab father, hates presents and invariably doesn't use anything he's given. I'd have been delighted if he had. Surely your ds will be happy to know his dad had a nice night with the DVD and chocs?

DialsMavis · 25/06/2011 08:45

TWNBU, It wouldn't bother me either, does DSS live with you? I am sure he misses out on loads of stuff with his Dad day to day if he doesn't.

Original poster
MrsKravitz · 25/06/2011 08:47

Yes he lives with us. The little one doesnt "expect" anything back, he's 6! I can see he will be disappointed when he sees they are all gone though. Like I said, minor...but a bit mean.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 25/06/2011 08:50

' Why should your DS expect something back?'

Because his mother thinks sharing with everyone is a good idea, so that is probably how DS will see it at 6. I live in a house with teenagers. It is very easy to find that they have eaten the last of something in a thoughtless sort of way.
Don't make a big deal of it OP, or you will teach your DS that his feelings have been ignored and he has been left out because that is your take on the incident.

Lorenz · 25/06/2011 08:51

I agree with OP, I'd be pissed off too.

yoshiLunk · 25/06/2011 08:52

I can see that a 6 year old would be disappointed that they'd all been scoffed without him, - yes it was thoughtless.

What did your DSS get his Dad?

purplepidjin · 25/06/2011 08:52

It would have been nice to share the time and chocolates with both children but he used his presents at a time convenient to him, which is technically NBU

ChopMonster · 25/06/2011 08:53

Is your issue more that he shared them with DSS and not DS?

ZonkedOut · 25/06/2011 08:53

Maybe thoughtless more than turdy. I bet they intended to save some, but got a bit too stuck in. In any case, it was his present to do what he wants with.

tallulahxhunny · 25/06/2011 08:53

so if your child gives a present then you expect your child to get something back?

That isn't really teaching him to be generous is it, its teaching him to want something in return.

YABU

tabulahrasa · 25/06/2011 08:53

I think you're all thinking of it from a rational adult's pov, for 6 yr old that his brother got to eat the chocolates he bought and he didn't get any - it's not fair

that's what DD says to everything DS gets that she doesn't anyway, lol, nevermind if she was involved in getting it in the first place.

So no it's not a major thing, but I can see a 6 year old being all indignant about it.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 25/06/2011 08:54

YANBU

I can't imagine any parent I know treating a present from a child that way. He should have opened the sweets when your son was there and let him have a couple.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/06/2011 08:54

I agree with talullah. You give a present, you get a thank you. That's the end of the process. You don't expect part of that present back.

Original poster
MrsKravitz · 25/06/2011 08:54

goblinchild You are right. I wont even mention it to the little one, just thought it a bit mean. Will keep quiet. I think he would have liked to have seen the movie too but like I said, minor.

OP posts:
SheCutOffTheirTails · 25/06/2011 08:59

In my family you give a present and the person you give it to is delighted and (if appropriate) shares it with you.

If a little kid gets an adult a movie he'd like to see, and a box of sweets, the gift would be taken to be the experience of watching the film and eating the chocs together.

Leaving the little guy out of the whole thing is horrible.

Goblinchild · 25/06/2011 09:03

Another box of sweeties, everyone shares.

valiumredhead · 25/06/2011 09:05

My ds bought dh a huge bar of Galaxy for Fathers' Day. Dh ate the chocolate and when ds said ' Can I have some of that chocolate Dad?' dh said ' Oh! It's gone, I ate it. Was I meant to share?' LOL Grin

tabulahrasa · 25/06/2011 14:03

I wouldn't expect anything back from a present, neither would my children - but they would feel aggrieved if the other child got some and they didn't

GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/06/2011 14:30

If I take a box of chocs to a friend's house, it's so she can collapse at the end of the evening and scoff the lot. I wouldn't be on here moaning that she didn't open them. Your way you're not giving a present. You're saying I bought some chocs, would you like some?

diddl · 25/06/2011 14:35

I think not sharing with both his sons is odd tbh.

Although if the DVD wasn´t appropraite for the younger boy, I can see how it came about.