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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cant stop Crying at the thought of Ds starting p1

26 replies

andypandydulterdandy · 24/06/2011 12:22

Ds is due to start P1 in September and im finding it really hard to handel. He only turned 4 in April and even though he is ready for this im finding it really hard. I took him to get his new uniform yesterday and the size of the wee trousers set me off crying my eyes out, the lady in the shop thought I was nuts. Maybe I am nuts? Why am I finding it so hard, I should be happy, not roaring my eyes out everytime I think of it. Has anyone else felt like this or am I a freak?

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 24/06/2011 12:26

FGS don't cry in front of your boy! Have a few tears once you have waved him off on his first day but you really need to have a strong word with yourself and for his sake hold it together.

It IS a hard transition to make but for his sake make it look as though it's a positive one.

I DO know it's hard, I didn't know what to do with myself the first week ds was at nursery, but I was all smiles as far as he was concerned.

MrsCurly · 24/06/2011 12:26

Why is he going in to P1 if he was only 4 in April?

cantpooinpeace · 24/06/2011 12:30

WTF is P1?

Groovee · 24/06/2011 12:31

I wasn't too bad with dd as she was 5 and a half when she started P1 but ds was just nearly 5 and I found it harder but I didn't cry.

drivemecrazy63 · 24/06/2011 12:32

we all feel like that but hold it in as much as poss as valium said or it will freak out your ds its growing up is all it is its supposed to happen .. it feels like yesterday this was me dropping ds off and now hes just done his gcse's in yr 10 , I was always the mum not chatting but with a tissue at all the plays and carol singing assemblies ect big softie me but dont let him see you cry as he goes in or he will be afraid to leave you.
go home have a cuppa with a gf and go shopping soon the days will fly past and you will curse the rain at 3oclock school run moaning you didnt get everything done yet where HAS the day gone you wait and see

MorelliOrRanger · 24/06/2011 12:33

My DD is starting Reception in September - its the first year that late birthdays (March -> are going full time straight off. I'm dreading it but putting on a brave face for DD

OrdinaryJo · 24/06/2011 12:35

YANBU to be upset about it.
YABU to be upset about it in front of DS I'm afraid.

I was mega-worried about my DS starting P1 last year and blubbed my eyes out many a time (but not in front of him) and he was absolutely fine. So is the wee terror he's best mates with who has a February birthday, incidently.

You're not a freak though. The tiny trousers still get me. Although now that's more because they're flapping round his ankles (growth spurt and too mean to buy new ones before next term).

Original poster

andypandydulterdandy · 24/06/2011 12:36

p1, is primary one, first year of primary school. He has to go now, even though he has a young birthday, if the child's birthday falls before the 15th of June, they have to start primary school in the september. I live in Northern Ireland and that is the way it is here. i just wish I had one more year with him before he stars

OP posts:

Original poster

andypandydulterdandy · 24/06/2011 12:36

sorry that was supposed to be starts

OP posts:

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/06/2011 12:37

Love how people say 'wtf' and are thoroughly shocked by the existence of another system in Scotland..

MrsCurly · 24/06/2011 12:38

Ah apologies. In Scotland the cut off date is 28th Feb.
It will be FINE. Honestly xxxx

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/06/2011 12:38

Or even northern Ireland!

drivemecrazy63 · 24/06/2011 12:41

he will be fine and yiu will have more time to yourself . well sort of more time for shopping and housework and 3pm or 3.30 whatever time his school finishes comes round quick he will make friends and have fun hopefully and you will be a proud mummy at the assemblies ect its a good possitive thing try look on it like that andypandy ive 3 dcs two in secondary and one in primary and it really goes fast so just enjoy it take lots of photos and be proud hes growing up

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/06/2011 12:46

I think everyone gets a lump in their throat that the baby is starting school. But it shouldn't be causing you this much anxiety. Does he spend any time away from you now, ever? Could you enroll him in some summer activities perhaps where you drop him off and pick him up later in the day? He'll adapt to school pretty quickly (most do) but it sounds like you'll need to make a much bigger adjustment or you'll be a wreck

Cymar · 24/06/2011 12:53

I was the opposite. I couldn't wait for DS and DD to start P1 and tell me all about the day they had and what friends they made and what they got up to in class. TBH, I was really excited and proud to see them spread their wings a bit and grow up little by little.

Original poster

andypandydulterdandy · 24/06/2011 12:55

I work part-time and have done since Ds was 9 months so he has been at creche since then and has been in pre-school this year, so he is used to being away from me. Its not the being away from me im sad about its how quickly he is growing up. I have DS2 also who is 19 months so I wont be bored or anything as ill be working while Ds is at school, its just thinking its an end of an era or something, he is moving on to the next stage in life and its just going too quickly.

OP posts:

cantpooinpeace · 24/06/2011 12:56

I was an Aug baby and did just fine.

My daughter turned 4 this month so starts in Sept, and really needs to start.

I'm just glad she wasn't a September baby because keeping them occupied all day once they're ready for school is not easy (especially with other children too).

The end :)

xstitch · 24/06/2011 12:57

I had a tear in my eye when I bought dd her first uniform because my baby looked so grown up. He will be fine and there will be others his age and slightly younger. The class will be geared to the age group. Try and save your tears on the day for after you have left him there.

MumblingRagDoll · 24/06/2011 12:59

He'l be fine. My DD was the youngest in the year and had only just turned 4 a month before she began. She was fine.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/06/2011 13:00

They do grow up quickly. That's the truism of parenting. One minute you're their entire world, spoon-feeding them in a high-chair and the next they're applying for secondary school or talking about driving lessons. That process is not going to slow down or stop just because you're uncomfortable. By far the best way to manage the changes are to embrace them wholeheartedly, see every advance as testament to your fabulous skills as a parent and look forward to the next milestones. Be as excited about his first day at school as you were about his first tooth or first steps.

Cymar · 24/06/2011 13:05

BTW OP, I live in Northern Ireland too, so going by the same system .

Keep your chin up lass, before you know it you'll be asking what things your DC needs to take in for PE/crafts/day trips etc and he'll be making you laugh with some funny stories of who did what, where and when.

Sounds like it's too early for you to be separated from your LO rather than the other way round.

stuffthenonsense · 24/06/2011 13:07

i cant speak for ireland but in england i believe that places are available the school year in which they are 5 but it is not a legal requirement to start until the term after their 5th birthday.
can you defer for a term?

ShowOfHands · 24/06/2011 13:12

DD starts in September too. She was 4 last month. I am keeping the wobbling under control by concentrating on the tasks it involves. Name tapes and pinafore dress shopping for example. We had a new parents' evening a couple of weeks ago and the teacher very sternly informed us that we will not cry, we will not show weakness, we will be jolly at all times. She was of course right but it is so, so difficult.

DD started preschool in January and while I waved her off with a smile and a cheery 'enjoy', as I walked away I felt like howling. She was only born yesterday ffs.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 24/06/2011 13:13

DD2 is 3 and is a 'rising five' (prechools speak for about to start school). She won't be 4 until mid July she's also on the 2nd centile for height and weight so will probably be the smallest in the school (by quite a long way). However she is more than ready!!!

Second others advice to keep your emotions to youself your ds should see this as nothing but a positive move (something that makes you cry will not be viewed as positive so really you do need to keep it together in front of him sorry)

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 24/06/2011 13:16

I must be utterly heartless. DD is just 4 and starts reception in September full time from day 1. I can't wait She is more than ready to go and can't wait to have her lunch in school. I actually find that I have had a better relationship with my DC's are in school full time as we aren't in each other's space all day long winding each other up and I have more energy to have a good time with them. Also 14 years of juggling/paying for chilcare/trying to be in 3 places at once comes to an end in September and i for 1 feel mighty relieved.

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