to ask when you started to want baby number 2?

[SharkSkinThing]

DS is 11 months old. Happy, healthy, sunny little boy.

But it's been bloody hard work, as he was never a great sleeper, and it's taken up until now to get him to sleep longer than 3 hours at night/not wake up at 4am/nap for more than 20 minutes. Birth was gruesome (who's isn't?), and relationship with DP shot to pieces for most of the last 11 months.

So why, after a week of normal sleep, am I now yearning for another? Because my baby is slipping away? Because I have to go back to work next month?

So. Did you, didn't you, have another? Pros, cons? Am asking, really, as 39 this year, so don't have the luxury of leaving it a few years...

Well I'm getting on a bit (will be 37 when this DC2 is born in Oct) so I think even when DD was born we thought we try for 2 years or so between them. Pregnancy was not the easiest (bad sickness first trimester) but there was never any question of not being prepared to go through that again for a second DC. Birth was fine - induced rather than the planned homebirth, but although intense and full on, was a good experience overall. Even straight after DDs birth I didn't have any "never doing that again" feelings. The thing that would have come closest to putting me off was the fact of having to do the pregnancy all over again.

Didn't think about it at all for DDs first year (too busy with her!) but once she started walking and sleeping slightly better, suddenly got v broody.

The pregnancy has been easier this time - have more energy and actually feel quite good at the mo. First trimester still grim, but not as bad as last time, and armed with the knowledge this time round that it does come to an end at 15 weeks or so it was much easier to bear the grimness.

There'll be two years four months between them - am excited and terrified! .

Best of luck to everyone thinking about no.2.

I think I always wanted to have 2 (except when I wanted more, that is).

I was getting on and didn't want to wait too long, plus I wanted two close together so they could grow up together too. I was 38 when I had DD1 too, so time wasn't on my side either.

I had a CS so started TTC when she was about 11 months old. DD2 is now 3 months old, there is 22 months between them.

It's certainly not easy having a baby and a 2 year old, but I get by. Fortunately, DD2 is an easier baby than DD1, she sleeps, for a start!

immediately after having DS1
managed to keep control until he turned 1yo, then started TTC, i'm now 24wks with DD, DS will be 2.5 when this one is born.

this will be my last one however, despite fantasies about lots of kids, i can't afford more than 2, nor would more than that fit in my house!

First 12 weeks or so I said no way to anyone who asked if we were having another! After 12 weeks DS started sleeping through and it was like a different world and would have started trying straight away but had C-section so have to wait a bit but also need to get a job (made redundant while pregnant) and lose a bit of weight before we try again (had high bp in late pregnancy and resulting emergency induction/c-section which may or may not have been anything to do with my weight but am not taking any chances this time!). All problems aside I also loved being pregnant!

DH and I are v late 30's and mid 40's so know we're lucky to have had him at all and that we may have problems conceiving again but I'm desperate for him not to be an only child if possible as he is the youngest in our family by far and want him to have someone close for when we are not all around. So I will be trying again by Christmas at the latest!

my DD is nearly 5 and although we knew we wanted to have another eventually, I have wavered a bit on it. Now, I have started to think about nothing but babies.

There's babies everywhere!! Lots of women preggers walking about or newborns in prams.

We have been ttc for a while in an it-will-happen-soon kinda way, but im near 36 now and im starting to panic ever so slightly that it might not happen.

time to get a proper ovulation kit i think and get going

Ive wanted one since I realised I was going back to work.

Similar to you - before DC1 was a year I was broody. Then found out I was pg when she was 14 months. It was a bit of a surprise but the timing (22 month gap) has worked really well. I was 31 at the time. If I'd been 39 I'd have been even more keen to get cracking I think!

Oh yes happened just as I went went back to work too - perhaps my subconscious was saying I needed more time off!

I wanted another as soon as I had my DD. Literally the day she was born! I think thats when I realised how much love I could feel for another person and despite not wanting children at all until the day I got my positive pregnancy test, my DD changed my whole world and made me want loads of children! Unfortunately I've been single since I got pregnant with DD so she's 3y 3m now and still an only child. :( I'm still very broody though and I don't think thats ever going to go away.

Oh wow - as always I am overwhelmed and hugely grateful for all of the replies, thoughts, advice and joyous/nightmarish experiences!

Interesting that several of you have touched on the wanting a girl thing, the sibling thing, and the general wanting to do labour again and this time paying more attention, as it were.

When I mentioned it to DP this morning ('soooo...do you ever think about having another?), he visibly paled and bleated out 'I don't think we'd cope!'

I am aware that hormones and nostalgia may be playing a big part here - I spent most of the first six months wondering what the hell had we done, then the next 5 swinging between utter joy and utter sleep-deprived hell. And now I wish I could do it all again, now that I know that phase doesn't last that long, not really. A bit like breastfeeding, seems like it's all you wlll ever do, and then - poof - over.

I also had a horrible birth, the polar opposite of what I had envisaged (water birth at home turned into 36 hour labour and emergency caesarian), so part of me feels robbed of a natural birth experience. Though of course, who's to say I'd get that next time..

So. I am reading and re-reading all of your amazing posts. I'm going to go back to work in July, give myself until Christmas to get back in the swing of things, and then, if I still have the urge, talk to DP. Because once the door is closed on this (as I'm soooo old), 'tis closed.

And thank you all so much again. :)

About a week ago

DD is now 15.5mo and has started sleeping through the night. I am seeing a theme here...

When we bought our double buggy while pregnant with number 1!

I totally had the same thing about one week of normal sleep = immediate broodiness! Now trying for number three, and DS2 was a v miserable and difficult baby. I never learn!

Horrendous birth the first time round made me swear blind that I wasn't having any more. Then something inside me clicked when DD was abiut 3.5 and I was pregnant again shortly after!

My DS is almost 9 and I havent started wanting yet.....too old now anyway!!

Arf arf - the sleep thing is clearly a biggie - and not just that they are sleeping through, but that you are too!

Even when DS started going through last week, it's taken me until now to not wake up at 3am, alert, ready to sooth, SAS style.

He still wakes at 5am though..

I couldn't have contemplated another until my DS1 was at least 18 months old, then I started to think 'One day I'd like another'. We started trying when he was 2.4yrs and I conceived straight away, then miscarried. Tried again and conceived on third attempt. DS2 was born in May when DS1 was 3.6yrs.

I really wanted two because, like one of the other posters, our first DS would've been the only grandchild for both sides otherwise and I just felt it was too much pressure on him and he'd be too spoiled if he never had a sibling. My DH wasn't bothered whether we had a second child or not, but I always wanted two and we were lucky enough to have it happen quite easily.

We found the first year with DC1 hard. Got past that stage and really enjoyed the next 6 months. At 18 months I thought "wouldn't it be nice?....". 9 months later (last month) we had DC2! Thankfully a lot easier this time round.

As soon as number 1 was born I knew I wanted to do it all again and I wanted the age gap to be 1yr 9months and it happened. All throughout the baby stage I knew DS needed another sibling as he was clingy and wanted attention the whole time. I knew that he couldn't be an only child, he would drive me insane! But when I had DD I knew I was going to wait a while before number 3 and there is now an age gap of 3 1/2 yr between #2 and #3.
However I was only 25 when we had first DS. All 3 kids are really close and play really well together. DS1 plays with DD and DD plays well with DS2.