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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask when you started to want baby number 2?

93 replies

SharkSkinThing · 23/06/2011 19:21

DS is 11 months old. Happy, healthy, sunny little boy.

But it's been bloody hard work, as he was never a great sleeper, and it's taken up until now to get him to sleep longer than 3 hours at night/not wake up at 4am/nap for more than 20 minutes. Birth was gruesome (who's isn't?), and relationship with DP shot to pieces for most of the last 11 months.

So why, after a week of normal sleep, am I now yearning for another? Because my baby is slipping away? Because I have to go back to work next month?

So. Did you, didn't you, have another? Pros, cons? Am asking, really, as 39 this year, so don't have the luxury of leaving it a few years...

OP posts:

blueeyedmonster · 23/06/2011 19:56

When ds was approx a year old. I finally got my way this year and age gap will be 4.1y

MogTheForgetfulCat · 23/06/2011 19:56

Pretty soon after DS1 was born - he was about 6 weeks, I think and I had finally got to grips with bf'ing, and he was just so gorgeous. Think I was still high on the post-partum hormones. Started trying when he was about 9 months, I think, had to wait until he was 15 months old before actually getting pregnant with DC2.

TeddyMcardle · 23/06/2011 19:58

As soon as I could walk again after ds never mind him walking!
Still waiting though and don't even have a husband now so who knows.

Lovethesea · 23/06/2011 19:59

Before I had any. I thought if I had one child I would like another. Two is my family norm and I found it a good balance growing up.

Had DD. Horrific birth. Told 10 months afterwards I was as fixed as I was likely to be, so ttc and got pregnant straight away. 19 month gap between DD and DS.

I have never felt broody, just got together with DH and we decided life would be fuller if we added in children.

Since I don't plan on any others I'm relieved to have the whole childbirth experience out of the way and am enjoying the kids growing independence - ok, they are 1 and 2.5 now, but they are doing more for themselves!

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 23/06/2011 20:01

I didn't. DD1 was 5 months old. DD2 was an accident and I was devastated. But - the BEST thing that ever happened to me - Thankyou God!

Whorulestheroost · 23/06/2011 20:06

I never got chance to fell broody as I fell pregnant when dd was 6 months. I was devastated at the time but now 6.5 years on I would not change it for the world! They are like best pals as well as fighting like cat and dog. They do most things together and we get all of the stages done in one go. I think there is no right time for a second, you can always think of loads of reasons against it but it's so worth it in the long run :o

PartialToACupOfMilo · 23/06/2011 20:06

I knew I wanted another pretty soon after dd was born, she's 18 months now. Pregnancy with dd was fine and I had a complication free home birth - the type where the mw arrives to check you over to see whether you're actually in labour and you're actually 10cms already! I think a positive first time must influence your wanting a second.

But we haven't started ttc yet as I want to wait until she's 2 so that by the time I have dc2 and have gone back to work, some of dd's childcare is free; that way I know we'll definitely be able to afford another (and then possibly another, but don't tell dh that part of the plan )

Whorulestheroost · 23/06/2011 20:07

Ha dolldagabuzzbuzz you sound just like me :o

BsshBossh · 23/06/2011 20:08

DD is 3, was an easy baby and toddler, is an easy pre-schooler and I still don't want another. We're very happy as a family of 3. It helps that I was an only child and had a happy childhood though. I'm 41.

MotherOfHobbit · 23/06/2011 20:08

Lol at everyone who thought they wanted another during the birth of the first one. That was me too! I kept thinking I'd get to the point where I'd scream: I'm never doing this again!
But despite having a nightmare, horrendously painful birth I knew all along I'd have another, and we're planning on ttc in a few months (whem DS1 is 18months)

5DollarShake · 23/06/2011 20:10

@ SharkSkinThing - there's nothing like finally sleeping through the night for the material sieve of amnesia to kick in!

We started trying for No. 2 when PFB slept through the night at 7 months. There's an 18 month gap between them.

DD has now finally started sleeping through at 9 months and I'm thinking I could go another. DH not so keen just yet.

AppleAndBlackberry · 23/06/2011 20:10

6 months for me and conceived at 9 months.

southofthethames · 23/06/2011 20:11

The right time is when you want to! Some friends I know wanted baby number 2 a few months after baby number one was born, others a few years! You're right to be thinking about it early if you feel you don't have a lot of time to wait.

Asinine · 23/06/2011 20:11

Whenever the last baby starts to walk.

5DollarShake · 23/06/2011 20:20

maternal sieve, that should be!

Brices · 23/06/2011 20:22

I am 37 and DD is four months old, more than me wanting another baby I so want a playmate for her. I worked in a fertility clinic prior so my perspective is a bit skewed, I think this may take some time considering my age, so currently ttc fingers crossed!

However, 4 hour home delivery and she sleeps... Only adding this as these are factors and I'll get a poor sleeper sure as certain next time!

Interesting to read this thread as DH supports "what I choose" and I realize only now I have lucked out here too and thinking I'll try not to be so grumpy pregnant next time..

Pussinflatboots · 23/06/2011 20:28

Dd is 4 months and already talking about it. [loon emoticon]. Need to get fixed following that birth first though so won't be just yet.

kaid100 · 23/06/2011 20:31

Well, we got two for the price of one so we didn't get a choice!

Ragwort · 23/06/2011 20:33

Never .

IDrinkFromTheirSkulls · 23/06/2011 20:33

I know I want another one at somepoint, but ds is nearly 11 months I just don't want another one just yet thank you very much! First thing MIL asked me after he was born was "Do you want another one" I was just like "Er can you let me come down from the gas and air before I answer that please?"

nannyl · 23/06/2011 20:36

Baby not even born yet

Im only 28 weeks pregnant (and have had horrendous HG, it has not been easy)
However i still hope to be pg again, with number 2 this time next year!

Sunflowergirl2011 · 23/06/2011 20:41

When DD was a few hours old, I said to DH "Well we won't be doing that again". 8 months later decided we wanted another one, 10 months after that DD2 was born! 9 months later and i'm thinking about no3 .... DH doesn't agree! :)

tethersend · 23/06/2011 20:43

Last Monday.

Nobody was more surprised than me. Apart from maybe DP.

jugglingmug · 23/06/2011 20:46

Before and straight after DC1...we were told we'd be very lucky to have 1 DC so never bothered with contraception. Was over the moon to become PG with DC2...but bloddy shocked to have DC3 (who was slightly less dreamed of or desired but is great now she's here!!)

alittlebitcountry · 23/06/2011 20:56

When DD was a few weeks old (she is all of 4 months now).

It's a bit of a reversal as DH seems happy with one whereas I was always on the fence about having children. Not that I was one of these people who know they don't want children ever, but never broody and happy with the life we had. DH on the other hand had always wanted a family so we both knew we would have at least once child if we could.

I became incredibly nostalgic for her tiny self very quickly as she started to grow - even though I can't wait to see how she grows and changes next, I am surprised how much I have enjoyed the early weeks and have a bit of yearning to do it again!

Also, as others have mentioned I would love for her to have a brother or sister - my brother is a great friend and we are always there for each other.

Having said that I am VERY aware that I had a relatively straight forward pregnancy even with an emergence ceasarean at the end, and DD is a laid-back, smiley baby who most importantly perhaps sleeps at night (so far anyway) and that can make a big difference.

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