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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pee'd off with my grandmother

35 replies

biddysmama · 23/06/2011 14:58

on tuesday morning ds2 was ill.. he was screaming and screaming and i couldnt stop him, i rang the drs and they said only appointment was at 5,45pm... he carried on screaming ~(hes usually a really happy baby so this isnt normal) lifting his knees up and thrashing about, he had a slight temp but had the full dose of calpol and nurofen with no change so we took him to the minor injuries unit, dr checked him and sent us up to the childrens ward..... i rang my grandparents to ask them to pick ds2(9yr old) up from school, which is 5 mins away from them and she said no, they needed to go to morrisons and then into town for some shopping! so i had to facebook his school friends mum to ask her to get him (hes been before)

aibu to be pissed off with her?

they kept us in till 7 pm, he has a throat and chest infection, much better now hes on antibiotics

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 23/06/2011 15:04

No YANBU, I think family should pull together when someone is ill or in hospital, it is certainly where I would turn first if in a similar situation.

Is there any other history between you or her and your ds?

Crosshair · 23/06/2011 15:05

I'd be pissed off in your situation, but what can you do.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 23/06/2011 15:06

Glad to hear your ds2 is feeling better btw, it's really horrible when their sick and you can't do anything to make them feel better.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 23/06/2011 15:07

Crosshair, I think I'd be reducing the amount of contact I had with them if they couldn't put themselves out a little to help, when I was in hospital with my baby.

shemademedoit · 23/06/2011 15:12

"we took him to the minor injuries unit"

YABU if you and your husabnd were both there (I know I'm being a cow, but it doesn't take two parents to wait around for tests with one ill child)

But YANBU if you were alone and needed help. I can't believe they brushed you off for morrisons and a trip into town when you genuinely needed their help. Also, surely one of them could have done the shop, and the other got your son. I'd be totally PO'd with them.

Crosshair · 23/06/2011 15:12

Thats fair enough, all my grandparents died young and I dont have a baby.(My point is I have no idea what Im talking about :o )

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 23/06/2011 15:23

thing is shemademedoit... being in hospital with a sick child (obviously in pain) IS the time when having a partner there makes a MASSIVE difference.

So even if he was there, 5 minutes out of their way wouldn't have hurt and if they really needed to Ds1 could have helped with the shopping!

Pang · 23/06/2011 15:24

If they were my GPs I would be really p'd off and would tell them so. Especially knowing that if they needed help I'd be there.

ScarletOHaHa · 23/06/2011 15:34

If both you and your partner went to Hospital/docs YABU.

None of or parents/ GP have ever picked my DS from nursery, even when I was in hospital.

How reliant are you on your family for childcare/babysitting? Playing devil's advocate, if you ask for help a lot, maybe they are fed up changing their plans to accommodate yours/your family

thegruffalosma · 23/06/2011 17:05

I'd be p'eed off too and I wouldn't put myself out to help them next time they ask AND I would tell them why - 'oh you want a life to the doctors? That's a shame as I'm painting my toenails that day'.

thegruffalosma · 23/06/2011 17:06

lift I mean!

MollyMurphy · 23/06/2011 17:10

I'd be pissed and would take a strip off them explaining why personally. As someone above said - when someone is ill family should pull together, not be more concerned about shopping at Morrisons.

MumblingRagDoll · 23/06/2011 17:11

Yabu and Yanbu.

I hope the baby feels better!

getabloodygrip · 23/06/2011 17:14

YABU in the extreme to "facebook your friend" rather than using the phone. Clearly you weren't in dire straits ergo, re your grandmother, YABU.

If you hadn't added the facebook bit, I would have so agreed that YANBU.

Hmm
emmanumber3 · 23/06/2011 17:15

If there is no more to it & your GPs are healthy & mobile then, yes, YANBU. 5 mins out of their way in those circumstances would not have hurt.

However, if you already rely on them a lot for childcare/help etc. they may be feeling taken for granted/used & therefore have decide not to change their plans again for you, even before your phonecall. They may feel that a young, healthy, couple should not be putting on them so much. HOWEVER, that is just a maybe - if not of that applies then they were definitely being mean! Sad

emmanumber3 · 23/06/2011 17:16

bloomin keyboard! decided not decide & none not not!

pregnantpause · 23/06/2011 17:21

YANBU to be pissed off, becaue you obviously expected them to support you, and when people fall short of our expectations it is upsetting.

But I agree with others in that if you and your husband were with ds, one of you could have left to pick ds1 up. Its not ideal but it is a realistic and managble solution that doesnt infringe on anybody elsse

WhoAteMySnickers · 23/06/2011 19:33

we took him to the minor injuries unit.

YABU.

shemademedoit · 23/06/2011 19:59

I agree that it helps having someone there to support you when you have a sick kid in hospital. But it's not necessary. And the trip to hospital wasn't about you. What about some support for the sibling who was coming out of school to find their brother in hospital? I'd be disappointed that my grandparents wouldn't help, but I certainly wouldn't be furious with them and cutting off all contact...

hiddenhome · 23/06/2011 21:12

YABU if two of you were there at the hospital.

When ds2 was sick in hospital dh had to go and collect ds1 from school. That's how it works. You can't rely on relatives to help you out.

BluddyMoFo · 23/06/2011 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skybluepearl · 23/06/2011 21:55

i'd always want to support a loved one in a tricky situation. you must be very upset they didn't help in your time of need.

Original poster
biddysmama · 23/06/2011 21:58

thanks :) i dont rely on them at all, i live across from the school so never need anyone to pick him up usually. the hospital isnt near our house which is why i didnt send dh out to pick him up and i had to facebook his school friends mum cos i dont have her number, or i would have phoned her

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 23/06/2011 22:02

Even if there were two of you - why wouldn;t most Granparens want to help out by picking up a 9 yr old from school so paretns could both stay with sick child Confused

I would undestand if there were two parents and the grandparents had centrecourt tickets at wimbledon, but Morrisons... seriously?!

Or if you were running late becuase you'd been out on the piss with the girls also understand them getting narky because picking him up is your responsibility but you were at hospital, they were 5 min away and no other serious or important plans. Even to indulge one parent by not making them leave the hosptial seems ot me to be not a significant thing to ask of most family.

thegruffalosma · 23/06/2011 22:03

Agree with the post above. Just make sure it's noted OP for when they next ask a favour of you.

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