to think that you can either have a clean, tidy and uncluttered house OR happy children but not both?

[GreenTeapot]

Or can you manage both? How do you do it?

'not one bit of spite'

Is she sure

Oh bless her. That is lovely that she thinks so highly of you. We are Horrible Cows for taking the piss not really

Oh that's not my fridge one, that's way beyond anything I could put on here.

I'd have to top myself. I could suffocate myself with the tutu teddy.

there's a distinction between "clean" and "tidy and uncluttered" in my book. Clean is baseline, important, got to do it. Tidy and uncluttered are optional extras...

YABU. What others have said, really, lots of storage and doing a bit of tidying/cleaning as you go instead of leaving yourself an almighty and unsurmountable shit heap.

Amongst my parents' various ghastly behaviours, keeping the house I grew up in in a state of dirt and chaos was one of the most damaging to their children. Only us kids did any housework. We could never have friends over, and I panic a bit to this day if someone just pops by, a state I was constantly in as a child. Think on, slobby mummies, you might end up with a nutjob like me.

Oh, and I refuse to visit my parent's house; because the brand new house I bought them a few years ago rapidly turned into a shit pile akin to the one I grew up in. And I got sick of having to clean it. So they don't see their grandchildren.

Hully that poem is dead creepy

All the ... are like serial killer pauses

GetOrf my 2 DDs called me "mommy" when they were littler. Now it's "mom"

You wanna make something of it?

:o

That said, SIL cannot bear to keep any of her DD's toys that do not fit in with the 'zen' aesthetic. I will literally receive back any tat I have bought for her DD within weeks.

I was a slattern for a couple of years I think it was a mixture of having 4 very small children in quick succession and living in a small house, I was also going through some crappy relationship stuff but ho-hum.

The only thing I can remember is the total drudge of everyday I wouldn't put the light on at night as I didn't want to look at the messy carpet . It wasn't anywhere near like the houses on How Clean Is your House but there was crayon on the radiators, crumbs on the floor, the dog and dc ripped the wallpaper and the sofa was a mess. I was so unhappy nothing I did made it look better and I would just give up. I wouldn't let the dc bring friends back and I hated knocks on the door.

Now I have moved and have 6 dc but my house is clean and (mostly) tidy, we are all so much happier. We hardly row, ds can have his mates round and go upstairs without me cringing.

DP does a lot of stuff and I just tidy as we go and it's rubbish to say children are unhappy if the house is tidy. I just put a load of washing in, ironed three outfits and mopped the hall and kitchen floor all while dd ate her lunch in her highchair chattering away to me and happy as larry. That took around 30 minutes.

I would never go back to a messy house it was all so depressing and miserable for everyone and I spend more time now with my dc then I did when it was messy because I was always playing catch up or searching through piles of clothes looking for a sock or something.

Kalinda

Oh FGS I go and feed my offspring, do a bit of shopping and a nursery run and come back to this! I didn't call anyone soulless or dull! I effectively just asked if it was possible to keep your house "clean, tidy and uncluttered" while having happy children. No mention of show homes, neglect or slothfulness :)

I am evidently chronically sleep deprived (4 years now) and bloody busy a complete slob whose home is a festering cesspit of mouldy plates, invertebrates and rotting, stained underpants. I will try to do better

Norman she gives it back to you?

I'm trying to figure out how one might do that without being rude. I got nothing...

And Bast and Hully, as for your ... contributions ... they're even more nauseating than my surroundings

missorinoco Expedit is the one you're after.. apparently

Thanks Laquitar. It's a losing battle with my parents, so I've just stopped trying to fight it.

EG. Last time my father stayed with me, instead of getting off his arse to put his teabag on the saucer on the table, a few feet in front of him, he kept said arse firmly planted, but kind of leaned sideways and deposited teabag in my pot plant. Which died after a week of such treatment. Apple cores and other stuff just get chucked down the side of the sofa. I once found a drawer in his living room full of used cue tips. I wish I was joking, but I am not. I could go on and on.

I think I was the only 10 year old I knew who spent their Sundays standing in front of a twin tub doing a week's wash for a family of 6.

I do not live in an immaculate house by any means, but I think keeping a halfway decent house (by which I mean hygienic, if not always especially tidy) is as important for my children's wellbeing as well as for my own.

I'm going to buy you all one of these to thank me for your guidance. You can put it in pride of place on your pristeen sofas

Thank you* ... Freudian?!

yabu you can have both but sometimes its like groundhog day in that you put toys away and they reappear the next day. I also find the only time I can blitz the house and give it a really good clean is on a friday night when my little boy is in bed!!

Marvellous, thanks, off to Google it.

Maybe some of our houses are untidier round the edges because you know, we're at work...my house would be spotless if I was there all the time and the dc were at school. How hard can that be?

Omni I've tried so, so hard not to say that!

What's wrong with saying that? Good point, excpet that the cleaner should be doing it then.

I just realised I put pristeen instead of pristine. Google tells me that "Pristeen" is a genital deodorant. Sorry about that

Having regular clear outs of cupboards, wardrobes, lofts and other storage helps as well as sorting out books, toys, DVDs and things like that so firstly there is somewhere to put stuff away. A good clear out before birthdays and Christmas helps.

But it is thankless. I have completely tidied the hall and cleared out the understairs cupboard last weekend and within 2 minutes there were crocs in the middle of the floor and a mini supermarket trolley . I could literally run around all day picking up after them when they are at home, but that's insane so little tidy ups here and there keep the piles of stuff down. I always try and take things up with me when I go upstairs. Generally little and often helps.

House is definitely not immaculate though, nor do I wish it to be. Most of the time we can find things when we need to and not trip over toys, and it gets a good clean once a week by the cleaner. But things like this happen fairly regularly: 2 dead birds this morning one upstairs one down, and feathers everywhere. DD2 emptied the stuffing out of her nappy on Tuesday morning.

'A house should be clean enough to be hygienic, untidy enough to be happy.' Read that in a magazine at the doctors a few years ago, and never forgotten it! You may quote that when the need arises.

My mother, a wise woman with a 50 year marriage and a dozen children said to me once "I learned early in my marriage that it is far more important to have a happy home than a clean one".