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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to focus on sex all the time?

101 replies

LoweredBrows · 22/06/2011 13:29

I suppose he's just like most men really but DP seems to focus on sex all the time. We don't live together and he seems to think that everytime we do see each other we need to be straight up to the bedroom.

I was talking to him on facebook last night and he started on about sex again. I changed the subject, started talking about cooking (we both enjoy cooking so it's not a girly topic to us) and he started saying I could work off what I've eaten on thursday (when he comes to my house) Hmm it's like everything comes back down to sex. I changed the subject again and every few minutes he sent me pictures of slutty outfits on ebay that he wants to buy me. It must have been pretty obvious I didn't want to talk about sex etc last night since I changed the subject EVERY time??

I'm starting to feel a bit like my main function for him is sex. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
LoweredBrows · 22/06/2011 13:50

we do talk when we're together but as we don't live together we only get to see each other around twice a week so it's left to either text or facebook.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 22/06/2011 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun · 22/06/2011 13:51

Dear Lord, this is all sounding a bit boxroomy now. Yes but, yes but, yes but. I'm out.

Oh, and you could update your last thread. You know, for the benefit of all the people who bothered posting on it.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 22/06/2011 13:52

Oh FFS you are his fuckbuddy, he is not interested in you as a person. Either accept that all you have together is sex (and I assume it's really good sex, or why bother?) and build a life that involves friends and socialising and all the rest of it without him, or just dump him.

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 13:53

Are you a sunderland football fan?

Original poster
LoweredBrows · 22/06/2011 13:53

Because he says there is nothing to talk about. He says if she spent ages on the phone each night we'd have nothing to talk about when we saw each other. But you just talk about shit in general don't you? there doesn't have to be a regimented topic of conversation everytime.

See another thing that is getting to me a bit is that he thinks this will work out fine for another 10 years or so because he doesn't want us to move in together again until the kids have left home. My youngest is only 10. We can't carry on like this for 10 years, surely?

OP posts:
Portofino · 22/06/2011 13:54

Me too BOF.

Original poster
LoweredBrows · 22/06/2011 13:54

BOF I did update the last thread.

OP posts:
Hammy02 · 22/06/2011 13:55

It sounds to me as though he is seeing how far he can push you.

themildmanneredjanitor · 22/06/2011 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingbohemian · 22/06/2011 13:57

Are you seriously willing to put up with this for another 10 years? Shock

Look, some people don't like talking on the phone, I have mates like that, it's fine.

But you have no future with this man, not really, and he sounds deeply weird and annoying. The sooner you dump him, the sooner you can find someone better.

TheTruthNothingButTheTruth · 22/06/2011 14:05

For goodness sakes. He is only after sex not wanting to drink your blood or anything. Considering both of you are married give him the action that he is entitled to. When he comes round thursday, have a good wash down there and wear something lacy and have a good time.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 22/06/2011 14:07

I think this man is actually trying to get rid of you OP. Has he ever said anything about the relationship not going anywhere and you've refused to listen?

girlscout · 22/06/2011 14:11

This is (in)convenient sex, for you both , and I knowthe lure of a relationship (any) can be strong, but really , imagine you are reading this from some other mn er.
Wouldn't you be saying, youve wasted two years ,dont waste another 2,3,4.... ,get away from facebook, and socialise in the real world.(know its difficult with a young one).
Did you hook up with him over FB originally?

Original poster
LoweredBrows · 22/06/2011 14:12

See that's the thing Springchicken, I have suggested on a number of occassions that maybe things are not working out and he panics like hell, insists that they are and starts making a massive effort. It lasts for about a week and then it cools off again.

I even said to him yesterday that things are looking a bit bleak and it would take a hell of a lot to survive another 10 years. Again he panicked and started coming up with ideas on how to make things better.

OP posts:
Pumpernickel10 · 22/06/2011 14:12

ever heard of a telephone conversation op

dreamingbohemian · 22/06/2011 14:14

SGB why would he get rid of her? he has sex on demand and doesn't have to clean his house.

Which means, OP, you are going to have to dump him. You can do it, honestly.

Pumpernickel10 · 22/06/2011 14:14

I won't waste my time a second longer on this thread,you was told the same fecking information last week my dear,did it sink in? no your back again.
Your either very stupid to put up with this or desperate for a man.

Pumpernickel10 · 22/06/2011 14:16

I agree dreaming hes got sex on tap with no emotion,your sticking about dear until he finds something better.

Original poster
LoweredBrows · 22/06/2011 14:17

Pumpernickel, you had a bad day or something or are you generally this arsey? The last thread ended with me explaining his reasons for not letting me in his house. You've deliberately ignored things on this thread (i.e. the phone thing). So, if you don't want to post on my thread, why not just fuck off?

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 22/06/2011 14:18

TheTruthNothingButTheTruth

Ha ha, very funny.

Pumpernickel10 · 22/06/2011 14:22

Don't worry I will fuck off,your a very needy person and he really just wants to shag you,he does not love you or want any future with you. You sleep over for sex only and talk on facebook. Thats not a relationship,your his fuck buddy,yes my words may hurt you,but no doubt you'll be back next week with an equally stupid problem.
Face facts before telling me to fuck off

Pumpernickel10 · 22/06/2011 14:24

We all said on the other thread how stupid this relationship was,do you want to be his fuck buddy? Let him buy you slutty clothes from ebay if that makes him happy,as it sure is not making you happy. Your posting on here to that very fact!

Original poster
LoweredBrows · 22/06/2011 14:24

Your words don't hurt me, I don't know you and you don't know me. Your opinion is rather insignificant to me but thanks for your input all the same!

OP posts:
shandyleer · 22/06/2011 14:24

What are you getting out of this relationship LoweredBrows? Seriously, sit down and write a list - I think you'll find it will be a very short one.

You sound intelligent and articulate, he doesn't. Cut your losses now.