Aibu to ask if it is bad to be a loner?

[frownieface]

I am a loner. I have a fantastic dp (even though he rinses his mince). Two beautiful dogs, (no dc's yet!!!)

I love spending time by myself. I relish the days that dp works away from home and i'm home alone (on my days off).

Is it really that bad to be a loner as long as i'm happy?

Nothing wrong with being a loner.

Now fuck off and leave me alone.

I am a bit of a loner, as is DH.

One of the reasons we get on so well I suspect. We both like time to be alone.

I usually get an hour or two to myself most nights as DH works long hours and the kids are in bed. I love it and don't really understand when it bothers other people in a similar situation. DH takes his alone time at lunch time (goes for a walk) and his commute, we also don't really chat much in the evenings when it is just the two of us. He is away for work at the moment and I think we are both enjoying that.

When I say this to people they appear to think it is a bad thing, but we just enjoy being alone in our own heads really.

People seem to assume that loner=lonely, which isn't true at all.

I love time on my own

Not at all. I love my 'solo time' - just don't get very much of it!

I was amused when someone noticed my one-year-old DD playing happily in a group and then suddenly leaving to potter around on her own: their reaction was "oh dear, is she shy of other children?" I had to explain that she isn't shy in the slightest, just likes being on her own occasionally. Same as me, DH and our cat .

I love being on my own. I have a fantastic DH who I've know since school so he is my best friend and knows everything (well nearly...) about me. I have 2 gorgeous DCs and I love doing stuff with/for them.

I do socialise occasionally but it's very controlled and I have no desire to take it further. I have a couple of friends that I meet for coffee/a drink and that's it. In fact one of my good friends is 30 years older than me. I think I'm just a bit old really!

I sometimes think I'd have more to talk about if I saw more people/did more stuff and that worries me a bit (that I might be boring?!) but I love it.

I do craftwork on my own, I enjoy baking and cooking, I like making jam, drinking wine in my jarmies, and reading. None of these are particularly sociable activities!

In fact, I have been known to worry about not having any friends, but reading these I realise it's more 'normal' than I thought.

My DS is also a loner. My DD is a lot more sociable than me and I do find that hard.

Loner is by choice, lonely feels like a prison with everyone else on the other side of the walls.

Me too! I'm another one who will also stay up late to get alone time. I need it. I think I'd be quite unhappy if I didn't get any time alone.

YANBU. And that's not me saying that, that's Rilke:

"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky."

im a bit of a loner, but im an only child and very much used to my own space and time alone. im just starting to realised actually thats ok

Being a loner, to me, is much more grounded than those people with 500 FB 'friends' who panic if they're not in contact with someone, anyone, through networking or texting or whatever. Though I do talk to the dog, I fear that's a symptom of something

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who feels like this, I love my 'me' time, Friday night DH goes to the pub, DD in bed and the dog and I cwtch up, time for reading, cross stitch, tv - what ever takes my fancy when I want to do it !

I am curious though - is this an only child thing as we are used to enertaining ourselves?