Aibu to ask if it is bad to be a loner?

[frownieface]

I am a loner. I have a fantastic dp (even though he rinses his mince). Two beautiful dogs, (no dc's yet!!!)

I love spending time by myself. I relish the days that dp works away from home and i'm home alone (on my days off).

Is it really that bad to be a loner as long as i'm happy?

I'd say I'm alone or just with DD the vast majority of the time. I'm not a complete loser - I do have friends - but they all have husbands, jobs, lives of their own and I end up alone most of the time. Every evening and most of the week. I like it usually - I've friends around when I need them and DD and I please ourselves the rest of the time. I'm quite grumpy and intolerant (and I secretly don't like people very much) so I think it's praps for the best anyway .

You'll get a skewed proportion of loners on here anyway, otherwise we would all be out socialising wouldn't we?

Oh Dear....having posted here and asking about "rinsing mince" I've just looked at the link and discovered I have been guilty of this......in my defence it purely depends on the fat content.

I agree with that ismeeyes...Asian cultures seem to respect quieter personalities far more.

I know you've put a grin after it sue, but even you have just said you're not a complete loser.

It's those kind of comments that keep the idea going that if you're happy not to be with other people all the time then there's something wrong with you, you're odd/weird/not right.

No, I was saying that I had some friends but I preferred my own company. It's a bit of a stretch to say I'm keeping the idea of loners being losers going strong - I didn't say that at all. I could just as easily have said that I'm not a Billy No mates or not anti-social like another poster up thread - the point I was making in a light-hearted way was that I have friends but really don't feel the need to be with them all the time.
Sorry, but I'm not going to accept that I'm being derogatory about my own choices - that would be weird.

Not a bad thing at all, it's just you isn't it? I am also happy with my own company and have few friends (but like to think I'm sociable enough when I am with people) and find these traits are becoming more prounounced as I get older.

quiddity that's rotten.

For anyone who's interested:

Myers Briggs personality types

Everyone I know who has done it has said, wow, that's me exactly! It's quite interesting.

I can't remember my type but it's the one where everyone thinks you're an extrovert, because you can be really social and outgoing, but deep down you're an introvert and find socialising draining and need 'me time' to recharge. That's me exactly.

Nothing wrong at all with being a loner. I miss having unlimited me time so freaking much sometimes. Enjoy it now!!

i agree that asian societies respect quieter personalities more but do not share the same sense of privacy, time on your own and personal space that we do value in the west

Cross-post: sue, actually I said that at school I thought I was anti-social and felt bad about it. Not the same, I think.

I wish it were socially acceptable for a 10-year-old to say actually, no, I don't want to play games this playtime, I want to read my book! (I was a right bookworm as a child, too ... still love to curl up with a good book in a nice crowded coffee house - best of both worlds, there's a bustle but no need to chat if you don't want.)

LRD, wasn't referring to your post

INFP here.

Ah, sorry - skimmed over the other one.

no it's not...

I have some lovely caring friends who keep inviting me out to places even though I've ignored the last two or three...I'm just not good with people. Have no idea what to say after I've finished spinning out preformulated expected niceties, so awkward, I feel like I've got nothing to say...and the thing is, they are my age- sixth form- and they are so much more mature than me...I can't even hold a conversation! Have AS. Parents say that can't be an excuse. :(
Depressing post! YANBU, IAMBU :) lonerism can be enjoyed, I guess. It's not like I feel guilty, but where I am is not built for freaks and geeks.

I wouldn't say I'm a total loner but I do love my own company. And I have never, ever enjoyed going on holiday with other families. Even the firmest of family friends end up making me grind my teeth by the end of the week. Never, ever again.

thank you dreamingbohemian - can I say the same? I'm slightly spooked by that. Only 1 sentence didn't fit and I'm even in the right job.

quirrelquarrel. I am trying to think of a non-patronising way to say it'll get better after sixth form. Evidently words are failing me tonight as I can't (but it will you know ). My brother found school socialising very similar but really thrived at university - and he'd agree with you about being a freak/geek.

www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes3.asp

Me apparently!!!

I can identify with that Adversecamber . That's more succinct than I could ever manage!

sorry www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes3.asp

Thanks Sue, very nice of you to write that, wasn't patronising at all (and a little patronising can be very good for us!) :) oh well...may as well give jumping on the "geek pride" bandwagon another go :o

just to add my two cents like. i was always a bit of a loner. enjoyed my own company lots, was an only child. always the odd one out. well after a few too many years of this i got bored, i got boring, i got depressed. shit followed. people need people. end of.