To be fuming with my husband for thinking that 'something in wrong' with our DS?

[Swarski]

My DS aged 7 has always struggled to concentrate, but mostly does well at school. He is very good at reading (free reader) and average at maths. His handwriting is not great and he struggles to get his ideas down on paper.

He is sociable and has lots of friends and regularly gets asked to play at others houses. He has a really active imagination and is always inventing stories and makes very complex structures out of paper and sellotape to support his stories.

However, the teacher asked to talk to me after school as he has been annoying the other children by making funny noises in class and has been rude a couple of times. I went in to speak to her and he apologised and promised to try and behave.

My husband is convinced that there is something wrong with him - like ADHD, and says that I am 'in denial' and deal with him all wrong - molly coddleing him and not telling him off when he is naughty!!

I am fuming and think that he is just a normal 7 year old with an active imagination and a lovely character...I am being unreasonable to expect my DH to also see him like this?

Your son sounds like me when i was his age. I was always the class clown, average in class. Didnt like football (but loved playing army, making den's in the woods, drawing anything creative.

I did struggle to learn but found my own way. (sometimes i did think if i was dyslexic or something). But anyway I was/am fine.

I think the problem is the choice of words. "Something wrong" is probably what's upsetting you. Whatever label anyone might use to describe him (like your DH's suggestion of ADHD) won't change who he is, regardless of whether it is accurate or not. All you need to do is make sure you work with the teacher to resolve the problems that (s)he has identified - it is actually irrelevant whether anything is "wrong" with him.

If he is annoying other children in class, you would address that in the same way, regardless of what may or may not be wrong with him.

It sounds to me like the only people who have any issue with your son are those who cannot tolerate non-conformist behaviour, and he sounds just like my ds, apart from the fact that mine does like football. The more you stare at this screen the more "issues" may be involved. No one loves your son like you do, and no one knows him so well. What does your heart tell you?

emma3, as thesis says ( hi thesis), AS, in particular is well known for not only not being picked up in school, but disputed by schools.
Few teachers, sencos or GP's are qualified to diagnose. schools often don't have a clue what they are talking about. thats why they call in the professionals. teachers are teachers,. trained ot teach. we can't expect them to know eveyhting there is to know about SN, becasue thats just not possible, and unfair.
Thats why diagnosis is more often than not done by a paed or camhs or someone of that ilk who is expereinced enough to know what to look for.
So Am sorry emma3, but your comment really is staggering. and coming from a parent of an AS child, it beggars belief even more.