Did you get your career back on track after having kids?

[toptramp]

If so am I being unreasonable to think how the hell did you manage it? I'm a single mum and I really miss my career. I have a part time job which I LOVE but the money is shite (minimum wage) and I am thinking I will either go back to teaching or retraiun. I am fed up with being skint and I am so not cut out to be a stay at home mum.

Rob1n - all I meant was that if I had been enjoying my job we might have waited another year or so before TTC. As I wasn't, there was no reason to wait - all the other circumstances, house, DH's job, age, etc, were right to start a family. I was lucky and got pregnant quickly. If I hadn't, I'd still have applied for the job I'm doing.

I couldn't do it without DH - I have evening meetings once a month or so which can go on till 9pm. Nursery shuts at 6.30, so someone has to be there before then. DH earns a reasonable wage and we couldn't afford a nanny.

I have an awesome single friend with 1ds who was sahm for 2yrs, she has managed with sharing childcare with friends and childminders. She dresses for the job she wants (rather than the one she has) on a budget and does extra work from home as an investment in her career. Seems to be working for her despite being p/t - she shows her full time colleagues up ;-)

For me, getting my career back on track was a real necessity. We couldnt live on DHs salary (no tax credits then!). So it was straight back to work full time after each DC was born with only a short maternity leave each time. Since having the DCS my job has taken us abroad and brought us back again.

DH took on the full time childcare role when DC3 was born. Absolutely the best decision for us.

Reliable childcare is essential. Employers want their employees to make it to work. Being late, leaving early, sitting at work fretting about children are all career unenhancing.

I went back ft when my son was 16 weeks bursting with ambition and enthusiasm. Never before had it been so important to earn good money to ensure his security and future.

I got a promotion a couple of weeks after I went back and am now in line for another.

My boyfriend works part-time early mornings and we combine this with creche and my being able to work from home. I don't have a massive problem working whilst looking after him, I tend to fire up the laptop at 5am and don't get it off until 6 again. The only difficulty really is doing a conference call as I know I'll be tied up for an hour or more.

I'm private sector and I think its more important to seem willing and enthusiastic as opposed to just a bum on a seat.

I was given accelerated promotion when the DDs were 7 and 5. No fancy salaries here, and it was a struggle to pay p/t nanny and nursery fees when they were little. I took 3 months off with DD1 and 5 months with DD2. I didn't want to be a SAHM - it would have driven me mad. And I doubt I would have been fast tracked if I had spent over a year out of the workplace. Staying on the career ladder, and having an extremely tight budget when the DDs were little has enabled us to have a much better standard of living now, and to save for their university tuition fees if they decide to go to university.

Could I have done it if I had been a single parent? Yes, I think I probably could, although I may have had to downsize on the house.

I would also add, we interviewed recently for a short term admin job. Four out of the five people we interviewed were mothers who wanted to get back to work after a few years out with children. Three of them interviewed appallingly - "What interested you in this job?" "I thought I could probably manage to do it." None of the three had done any homework about what the organisation did - the role was tied to a specific, well publicised event - none of them knew anything about this. And two of them said, essentially, "My children will always come first - if they are ill, or not at school for inset days, I won't be able to come in. And I will want to drop them at school and collect them so I will have to come in early and leave early, and I can't work Wednesday as they have no school then, and I don't want to leave them with someone else." We offer flexible working - the person who got the job works from home periodically, but I didn't feel that hours should be dictated to the employer at the interview stage. I did ask one of these women if she wanted the job at all.

We used childminders alot when the children were young and when they were older primary school then advertised and appointed someone who could take them to school when early mornings, pick them up after school and look after them in the house whilst doing cleaning and ironing. This was cheaper than a nanny and once children are older you don't need someone with childcare qualifications, just someone who likes your kids and is a sort of daytime babysitter.
Childminders are alot cheaper than nannies and ours were fairly flexible.
We had no local relatives.
You do have to put effort into finding people though.

I think its tough to get a career back on track - inevitably something has to give. I used to work in a charity and my job wasn't feasible after having a LO (well not for me) - a long commute, lots of evening work, lots of responsibility and stress, no flexibility if childcare goes up the spout.

I am now self employed, work 3 days a week as a consultant and earn as much as I used to in 5. However ... the stress and responsibility are still there - now I am responsible for all my clients and their income and there is no sick pay etc. I haven't worked much since losing the baby this month and although my clients are incredibly supportive I worry that they will go elsewhere and how we will manage without the income. I still have to work evenings and some weekends (although partly my own fault because I am not organised during the day).

However, I can drop of DD at nursery and pick her up when I want. If she is ill, there is no Q about having time off, no one to ask. If I am short of cash, I pick up more work and if I want to have a few weeks off I can.

I know that there are a lot of people starting as virtual PA's - this seems great. You need to be around part of the day but a lot of the work can be done in the evenings.

I'm reasonably happy with where I am with my career, though I think my pay is too low for my experience and now that I work parttime I feel it is harder to move to other firms and get pay rises that way.

Also, if I was to have another child I'd feel quite nervous about maternity leave. Nine months felt right to me but though I was promised I would keep the same role, they only have to do this until six months and by the time I got back they'd changed their minds. Luckily the new role fits well but I'd be wary next time that I could get sidelined into an area I wasn't keen on. I'll have to take the risk or only have six months off. Don't feel entirely happy with that, but what can you do.

I was planning to have an established career before I ttc but as it happend I was fresh out of uni after doing my masters and not long in a new job in a private research facility when I found out I was pregnant. It was a fantastic job with great career aspects so I worked hard and was going to have a short mat leave, however, my dd needed medical treatment and I had a longer one (though still witin the allowed limit!). Despite working from home during my mat leave and coming into the office I learned from a client that my immediate boss was slagging me off outside the organisation for "pissing off to have a baby". I figured my chances of promotion were lost to me.

I therefore got a new job in research at a university taking huge paycut but decided to make that worth it by doing a phd part-time along side my ft research assistant work. I always wanted to do a phd just hadn't planned to do it so early. Now half-way through my phd I've been headhunted by a couple of companies. So my next job will be a proper step up the career ladder and I don't expect next dc to make any damage to my career either because I'll know to change company to prevent it if I have to. I will also protect my career by never working less than full time because I think at my age (not yet 30) it will look like I'm not committed (in my male dominated industry at least) but I would consider negotiating a day or two working from home in future.

I'd also like to say that its only my dp and I in this country so we have no help whatsoever with childcare but have managed between us and with nursery. Its a never ending headace but most people muddle through...

I returned to work this week after having 10 months off with DS2. I also took 10 months with DS1 (now 3.5). I work in the public sector, so although I'm not earning bucketloads, my employer is flexible with my hours, I've gone back 2 days per week.
I've worked for the same organisation for 10 years, have a specialist role within it and am well thought of by my managers. They are happy for me to work part-time at present, and my plan is to gradually increase my hours so that I will be working 4.5 days by the time both DCs are in school.
I don't have a nanny or family support. We use a childminder and my DH helps out a lot.
Obviously, I'm not taking home a lot of money at the moment, but I see my working life just now as an investment.