Potted history, my husband is one of a large family all the family are very 'pro family' when it comes to sharing. They were not well off growing up, but managed fine. My family were better off but certainly not rolling in it and my husband and I have worked very hard to get the jobs we have and earn the money we do.
Anyway, we have had an email today from our nephew (21) who lives in the USA with his mum and her husband (essentially my SIL/BIL). He has said he cannot pay his college fees and is having to work instead of study but really wants to go to school - the email is very emotional but says his stepdad wont pay (but still has money for other stuff) so could we help him out.
Now this is not a first by any means,my DH family have struggled financially and we have helped significantly for all of his siblings, and it was not long ago she was asking for money to leave him (our BIL) but that is another story.
DH is worried that he will be viewed as mean and spiteful if he doesn't give the money (that goes back to another story in the family about money) but thinks, like me that we should all take personal responsibility for ourselves/children.
So much so we have argued about this in the past and I am fearing another set of monumental arguments (including MIL phoning to say we need to help).
AIBU (and mean) not to want to help out (again)? I am starting to feel like giving into the pressure may be easier 