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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a fathers day card to my dear husband is creepy?

81 replies

lesley33 · 19/06/2011 11:54

I was looking at acrds and came across one that said Happy Fathers Day to my Dear Husband. AIBU in thinking this is inappropriate and not understanding who would want to send this type of card anyway?

OP posts:
PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 13:09

It is weird you bunch of nutters
unless he is your actual dad and your actual husband/partner
then it isn't weird, at all

Kallista · 20/06/2011 13:11

I bought my nan a 'to my grandma on mother's day' card - because she's very elderly now and i knew she would like it.
She was very happy and hasn't taken the card down!
Friends of mine with toddlers actually bought cards on their behalf or helped make a card.
One took her DH (and baby DDs) out to lunch to thank him for being a lovely husband + dad to their DDs.
I think it's normal.

PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 13:14

it's not normal
it's weird and creepy
thanking people for doing things that they are already being thanked for, weird

also a bit patronising

AMumInScotland · 20/06/2011 13:20

I buy a card that says "Happy Father's Day to my Dad" for my Dad, and I buy one that says "Happy Fathers Day to my Husband" for my DH. I have no confusion about who these two different people are, and my relationships with them are quite different. Nothing creepy about it in the slightest.

I'll agree it is a bit of a con from the card manufacturers, but my DH is from a family who really love to get cards as a way of marking significant dates, and he would feel a bit hurt and unappreciated if I didn't mark the day in a way which matters to him. So it's a small gusture from me which means a lot to him. What's odd about that?

sprinkles77 · 20/06/2011 13:22

can't see the problem really. I wrote one from DS 15 months and DC (that's darling cat FYI). Didn't think the cat needed to waste her pocket money on a card of her own.

PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 13:22

Well done for being a dad husband
plaudits from woman you impregnated

weird

PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 13:23

cards from animals are fine

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/06/2011 13:26

I'd love to get a card from my dog but he can't read or write.
Anyway, if he could, he would sign it Alfie, not The Dog. That would be silly.

Vicky2011 · 20/06/2011 13:26

baffled that this is creepy, aren't there also cards for men to give their wives for mothers' day? It may be overkill and is certainly not to my taste and obviously it would be weird if they are not actually parents but assuming they are, then I'm really not getting the whole Freudian creepy thing at all.

FoofffyShmoofffer · 20/06/2011 13:29

ffs some people are determined to see harm in the slightest thing.

Providing the DH in question doesn't turn around and say " You know what love, don't buy me a card from you anymore, I think it's fucking creepy".
Then surely no one else should give a shit.

As of 3 years ago I don't have a DDad to send one to. It's nice to send one to DH to say " You are a great Dad to our DCs I love you all the more for it".

It's not thanks, it's just a statement of fact.

BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 13:31

PerryCombover didn't get a card clearly :(

Happy Father's day from all of us at mumsnet

PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 13:42

mothers day to mothers is slightly less creepy as mothers generally mother everyone including their husband

i am judging you to be a great father husband well done...here is a fathers day card from your grateful wife

only sayin

GeekCool · 20/06/2011 13:48

I found a card that actually said the things I would/do to my DH so I got one for him. He got two from DS (one made, one bought) and I got my dad a card from DH and I, and one from DS.
I'm aware I'm a marketer's dream but so what? I enjoy giving the cards and neither DH nor my dad has told me I'm a freak yet so...

FoofffyShmoofffer · 20/06/2011 13:48

Semantics to suit your argument.

"mothers day to mothers is slightly less creepy as mothers generally mother everyone including their husband"

That sentence would insinuate that husbands send their wives cards on Mothers Day because they are Mother substitutes? Eeewww. How is that more acceptable??

Well it just goes to show, one mans normal is another mans creepy no matter what you do. Grin

AMumInScotland · 20/06/2011 13:48

The card I got for DH said "Happy Fathers Day" on the front and "Have a great Fathers Day" on the inside. It didn't say "Thank you for impregnating me" or "Thank you for taking your share of the responsibility, which of course you ought to do anyway", or "I think of you as if you were my father" - that would be creepy.

PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 13:55

do you send cards for other days?

do you send cards for him on Mother's day in case he feels left out?

weird weird weird

PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 13:57

why not pitch a thank you for sharing card to hallmark then they can spew it out for folks to buy their husbands on father's day and mother's day

he has children

their plaudits are enough

GeekCool · 20/06/2011 14:01

Gosh who'd have thought a bloody card would irritate people so much!

PerryCombover · 20/06/2011 14:02

i dunno but i wish someone had a card for how i'm feeling

FoofffyShmoofffer · 20/06/2011 14:03

ooookkaayyy Confused

making less sense.

iMum · 20/06/2011 16:52

I think PerryCombover is a complete knob actually

just sayin

AMumInScotland · 20/06/2011 17:05

I don't think there is anything terribly wrong in giving someone a card that shows you appreciate them. DH is the father of my child, and I appreciate the effort he puts into being a father. It's not something which comes particularly easily to him, as his own father was mainly absent, and better when absent than when he was there. So I let him know, on Fathers Day specifically, that I value and appreciate his efforts as a father. It's a tiny thing, and hardly seems worth considering odd, weird, or creepy.

I suppose I could pick a random date during the year and buy a card without a message and write something appropriate in it instead, but that would seem more odd to me than doing it on a day when fathers, as a category, are being praised/celebrated/acknowledged.

I do find MN amazing for what some people can find objectionable!

FoofffyShmoofffer · 20/06/2011 18:09

YY AMumInScotland.

Pixieonthemoor · 20/06/2011 18:13

My dh is a great father and I bought him a card in recognition of this. Dont really see what is wrong with that. I have plenty of friends whose dh's are rubbish - I want him to know that I appreciate him in this way as well as him being my dh.

berylmuspratt · 20/06/2011 20:42

I saw some of these the other day and wondered why you would send one to your husband. Perhaps it's for people to send to their husband from the cat or dog or something or more than likely just be a moneymaking thing.