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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that its fathers day and not grandfathers day

94 replies

MrsC1977 · 19/06/2011 11:29

My mil bought a fathers day card for my 2 year old to scribble on to give to her grandad. Aibu to understand why she did this. Its fathers day not grandad day

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 19/06/2011 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KurriKurri · 19/06/2011 13:48

Grin at BMF

diddl · 19/06/2011 13:49

But why should Ops son be signing a Father´s Day card to someome who isn´t his father?

I suppose all the mothers here would be OK if FIL started sending Mday cards to MIL from your children?

BitOfFun · 19/06/2011 13:53

Fathers Day is for your own dad. At a pinch. All a load of made up bollocks anyway.

BluddyMoFo · 19/06/2011 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KurriKurri · 19/06/2011 13:59

I totally agree - why does anyone get uptight at something nice? Maybe MIL thought your DH wouldn't remember to get his dad a card, so she was making sure he wasn't forgotten.

LolaRennt · 19/06/2011 14:00

YANBU, Mil should not have over stepped and bought the card. You and DH should have.

It must have been very nice for him to receive a card from his grandchild with a little baby scribble though, whoever thought of it.

dreamingbohemian · 19/06/2011 14:13

It's a bleedin card. It probably made his day.

I can't believe anyone who actually likes their ILs would be upset about this.

ChaoticAngelofLitha · 19/06/2011 14:45

To those who said Grandfathers are fathers too, yes, they are...to their children.

Fathers' Day is just made up by card companies anyway, to screw more money out of us, or rather out of those who send them.

M0naLisa · 19/06/2011 15:15

i also send grandads a card. my DC also send Great Grandfather cards too to my grandads

PoppaRob · 19/06/2011 16:04

We don't have grandparents' day in Australia, and Fathers' Day is in September, but I totally loved and appreciated it last year when my daughter had my then one year old grand-daughter hand over a Fathers' Day card signed by my daughter and scribbled on by my grand-daughter.

One of my stepsons from my first marriage has always been an important part of my life, and I of his. His partner is a bit of a lost soul and her daughters don't have a significant older male in their lives but when they came into my stepson's life the partner asked me if it would be ok for her girls to call me Poppa Rob. I call my stepson's partner my "surrogate step daughter in law", so of course I was happy for my "surrogate step grandchildren" to call me Poppa Rob. Last Fathers' Day they made a special trip (an hour and a half drive of 50 miles / 80Km or so) to come and visit me and brought a gift and a card written on by all four of them. I was deeply touched that they thought enough of me to make such an effort.

Maybe I'm out of synch with a lot of the younger parents on MN, but I was always told that it was the thought that counts. I really can't see any problem with giving a Fathers' Day card to any father, grand-father or significant older male who fills the role of family friend or mentor. I hope one day the OP finds herself receiving a Mothers' Day card out of the blue from someone who doesn't have to buy and write in her Mothers' Day card, but does so purely because they want to show their love and appreciation. It's the thought that counts.

KurriKurri · 19/06/2011 16:27

PoppaRob - that is a lovely post, and is exactly the way I feel, - I will grab any opportunity I can to bring a smile to the face of my loved ones, and so will my kids, they still give a card to their grandad as well as their dad, even though they are grown up now Smile.

Bless you , you sound like a fabulous grandfather Smile

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 19/06/2011 16:28

IME the price of cards for dcs to give their grandparents on Mother's and Father's Day is miniscule in proportion to the pleasure felt by the recipients.

With the exception of those who are not deserving of the title, I see no reason why grandparents shouldn't be given cards which confirm how much they are valued by their dgcs, or why these small tokens of love and appreciation should be confined to a couple of days a year especially if there are potential inheritances to consider.

Shoesytwoesy · 19/06/2011 16:28

yabu
my dc's always sent my dad a card,
hardly a bad thing as he loved it

piratecat · 19/06/2011 16:30

my dd hasn't got a dad to send one too, so it's nice for her to send one to her grandad.

Soups · 19/06/2011 16:41

I think it sounds a bit odd. It's one thing if you + dp decided to buy his father a card from your daughter, you'd have got a Grandfather card!

MIL to buys her husband a fathers day card from your daughter Hmm I assume that he's know it wasn't really from you lot, so would it actually be special to him?

PinotsKittens · 19/06/2011 16:43

Come back and face the YABU'ing OP :)

bobala · 19/06/2011 17:15

My boys bought their own card for their Grandpa as he has been more of a Dad to them than their own useless father - it was interesting to see that 2 teenagers bought a soppy 'we love you loads' one for Grandpa - and very bland jokey ones for their Dad.

diddl · 19/06/2011 17:17

But isn´t the issue that the OP didn´t want her child to give her FIL a Fday card?

Those of you who choose to do it with your children or they are old enough to do it themselves, that´s fine.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 19/06/2011 17:26

YABU I always give the kids a grandad card to do on fathers day and granny/nanna cards on mothers day. I also get my grandma a grandma card on mothers day.

She probably seen them in the shop and bought it. I cant see what the problem is

diddl · 19/06/2011 17:32

"I always give the kids a grandad card to do on fathers day"

But that´s your choice to do that.

Doesn´t "your child your rules" apply in this case?

KurriKurri · 19/06/2011 17:37

not if the rules are crazy diddl Wink

diddl · 19/06/2011 17:45

But this was a Fday card for a GD-isn´t that odd?

KurriKurri · 19/06/2011 17:50

I don't think its odd, maybe slightly out of the ordinary (although not going by lots of posts on here), it not something I would get het up about, but then I daresay lots of the things I think are odd other people would say 'chill out' about Smile

Spuddybean · 19/06/2011 17:54

i think it's weird. my sister makes a big deal out of sending cards to our dad from my nieces and i know when i have dc's my parents will expect it from me and then be really nasty if i don't play along.
Also beware of mothers doing things like that. My mum sends out cards and presents to distant family members (second cousins children) for xmas and birthday 'on my behalf' because i'm 'horrible' and wouldn't do it myself (these are people i have never met or not seen for 10 years). She forges my handwriting on cards and does not tell me.
She then says i should carry it on as now she has started it will make ME look bad if 'i' stop!
Totally crazy.