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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say that drivers who tut, stare and intimidate are more of a danger than the people they are tutting etc at?

25 replies

VelvetSnow · 17/06/2011 12:58

Ok, there are some right eejits on the road and some who do not deserve a license at all, but it seems to me that when someone 'cuts you up' or 'doesn't indicate' then it's our reaction to that which is more likely to cause an accident.

Yesterday, a woman actually drove alongside me on the motorway and continued to stare at me, shaking her head and making hand gestures (for what seemed like ages) surely this behaviour could have caused more of an accident than me joining the motorway behind a slow moving vehicle and moving into the middle lane way in front of her to take over slow vehicle? And when I did this there must have been at least 200 yards space, the woman obviously took exception to my being in her way...

Obviously every occasion is different and should be treated as such, but it really bothered me that this woman was so enraged by such a trivial thing, and continued to endanger herself and others on the road!

OP posts:
JarethTheGoblinKing · 17/06/2011 13:00

Did you do something to piss her off?

YABU, a quick glare at the person who cut you up isn't a big deal. Constant scowling and hand waving, obviously potentially dangerous.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 17/06/2011 13:01

So, when you pulled out in front of her did she have to slow down, or did you match the speed of the lane?

MsTeak · 17/06/2011 13:03

Sounds like you were driving dangerously and she was letting you know. If you can't drive properly and you're put off by someone "tutting" at you, you really shouldn't be on the motorway at all, or perhaps even in a car.

MrsBethel · 17/06/2011 13:05

There's another lane for her to overtake, so what's the problem. What a twat.

I think you're right about people's reactions being dangerous. Some people seem to use tailgating as a punishment for perceived offences. Wankers.

Original poster
VelvetSnow · 17/06/2011 13:05

I matched the speed of the lane, I was joining the motorway at speed, saw the slow moving vehicle, checked mirrors, saw plenty space to move into middle lane and did so.

She may have had to brake, I'm not sure what speed she was going at, but I was doing about 65-70mph, Seemed to me like the woman wanted the lane to herself.

OP posts:
Original poster
VelvetSnow · 17/06/2011 13:06

MsTeak - it wasn't a tut, and no I wasn't driving dangerously

OP posts:
baguettecut · 17/06/2011 13:08

You broke her 'flow'. She should have moved over, it's a motorway, it's what goes on!

MrsBethel · 17/06/2011 13:13

It sounds like the OP did nothing wrong and the tutter is one of those people who thinks the second lane belongs to them.

Imagine what she does when one lorry overtakes another. She must need restraining.

Original poster
VelvetSnow · 17/06/2011 13:15

Grin MrsBethel, oh I reckon she'd spontaneously combust!

OP posts:
ImeldaM · 17/06/2011 13:15

A lot of drivers on the road would never pass a test if they had to sit it now

Example of test question (scenario not same as yours, but similar)

If someone overtakes you and cuts in, causing you to slow down, you should

a. Sound the horn
b. go right up close behind them
c. Shake your fist/ make another gesture
or (very obvious)
d. Drop back to a safe distance

Prizes to all who got answer correct Grin

worldgonecrazy · 17/06/2011 13:18

Before you moved into the middle lane did you also check that the outside lane was clear for her to move into should she need to overtake you? It may be that there was a car to her right that meant she couldn't pull out and had to brake sharply.

I agree that her behaviour afterwards was wrong though, far too distracting for you and for her.

smashinghairday · 17/06/2011 13:23

You shouldn't have put her in a position where she should have had to brake, not at all!

If you'd pulled out in front of me causing me to brake, I'd have " gestured" at you, too!

baguettecut · 17/06/2011 13:23

Part of being a good driver is having to make allowances for nobs.

baguettecut · 17/06/2011 13:25

As my dear old Grandad used to say: Treat everyone on the road as an idiot and you'll be ok.

MrsBethel · 17/06/2011 13:25

(a), then (b) for a couple of miles, then overtake and do a bit of (c).

Textbook.

Original poster
VelvetSnow · 17/06/2011 13:25

TBH, if she had to brake sharply when the car in front is doing 65-70mph and increasing (bearing in mind there was at least 200 yds in front of her) then she's going to fast anyway.

But in answer to your question worldgonecrazy she did have the space to move into another lane - that's why I couldn't understand the extent of her abuse...

Then again, perhaps she knows me and just dislikes me Grin

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 17/06/2011 13:26

YANBU. Whatever you may have done to upset her, her reaction was inappropriate. While she was glaring at you and making hand gestures she wasn't fully in control of the car. Also I would suggest that anyone who gets so wound up over minor inconveniences has anger issues that might affect their judgement when driving.

ImeldaM This one winds me up! I would always do "d" (honest!) but I have seen both DH and BIL do "b" because they want the other driver to know what they did. Drives me mad.

baguettecut · 17/06/2011 13:26

Or rather, as IF they're an idiot.

Oh, I'm carrying on with cleaning the loo, far easier!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/06/2011 14:05

No, no baguettecut - stay here - it's far better for you than housework!! And fwiw, your first post is grammatically correct and made sense to me.

Jjou · 17/06/2011 14:09

Sounds like she was BU in this instance, if she had space to move across that's what she should've done when she saw you indicating.
I have been known to gesticulate on a few occasions though: rubbish drivers do my head in so much. Last night I gestured at the woman in front of me at a junction who took so long to pull out it was unreal. The space and time she had between cars she could've manoevered a tank out but she just sat there until the road was clear: GRRRR! I did indicate to her that she should move her arse, but really, it was ridiculous.

baguettecut · 17/06/2011 14:39

Oh, thank you SDTG. I've finished the loos and have started on the Tangfastics.

nocake · 17/06/2011 14:49

Imelda I'd go for e - blast them to smithereens with the rocket launchers cunningly disguised as front fog lights Grin

Unless, of course, you've already used the rockets on the drivers with hats.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 17/06/2011 17:26

It does sound like she could have read the road better, seen that you were joining behind a slow moving vehicle and moved out to give you room.. if she had room in the lane to pull out, and you were matching the speed of the lane then tbh it sounds like she was going too fast and didn't read the situation properly.

RufusTFirefly · 18/06/2011 12:36

Sounds like the woman was an arse, and a dangerous one at that.

I remember Dad telling me that he gave the old two-finger salute to another motorist (very unlike Dad, btw) - who promptly flashed a blue light at him and pulled him over. An unmarked police car. The cop gave Dad the bollocking of his life, pointing out the dangers of road rage of any kind.

I also recall a murder at Swanley interchange. A young lad tangled with the wrong person - one Kenneth Noye, a gangster and a truly evil and dangerous man, who stabbed the lad to death. If tempted to gesticulate, honk horn, etc. I just remind myself that I might not know whom I am taking on.

strandedbear · 18/06/2011 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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