not to accomodate my in-laws? Ok, it's a WWYD really.

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I've just accidentally got rid of the guest bedroom, is the thing:

I have a 4BD house. 3BD are upstairs along with the master bathroom, currently deposed as master/DD's/study. The 4th is downstairs in a sort of side extension, next to the second bathroom. This is very handy for guests, who therefore have a lot of privacy - as do we. Also it means we don't have to deep clean the upstairs

The study is used regularly by DH, who is in the finishing stages of his doctorate, and by me as a sewing/craft room. The guest room is used 2 or 3 times a year by his mother. Once a year she is accompanied by his father, that's the only time he visits. I have posted before about the family culture being that One Does Not Stay In Hotels.

We're expecting a second child. We decided to give them separate rooms. Obviously DC2 has to be upstairs as well. So we turned downstairs into a study/guest room; it's far more convenient to have the study downstairs for various reasons. This meant replacing the spare bed with a sofabed.

ANYWAY. Turns out the room's smaller than we thought and the desk is bigger. So we have this lovely newly painted room, with the desk and the bookshelf in it...and we can't fit a double sofabed in there. Like, really not at all. Well, not if you want to get in and out of the room, anyway.

So. Either we can buy a single sofabed, which means that MIL can stay over but not with FIL. Or buy a double and put it...in the baby's room? And the baby can come in with us during their stays? Which means they'll be staying upstairs after all, without their own bathroom and with all the attendant nocturnal kid-related disturbance. The only other option I can see, replacing the desk and bookshelf with much smaller versions to free up space, costs money we don't have, and also having a nice big desk is v v useful.

They're going to be offended anyway I slice this, aren't they?

Lie in I mean

Tortoise - can you clarify please?

Would a single bed + desk + single airbed / trundle / futon fit in the room? I take on board there is no other space, but I really don't think that matters does it? They'll only use it to sleep in.

Could you get a bed like this for your older DD's room. It slides out into a double bed (also handy for sleepovers) and then you can put ILs in there once a year. But it's not like making your DD sleep on a sofabed all year, it's a nice comfy bed (we have one and love it).

Or, could you give your eldest daughter a double bed, then when FIL comes too she can go and camp on the single sofabed.

This thread is hilarious, how many ways can 'get one of those beds with a pull out mattress underneath to convert it to a double' be written ?

Why is it your problem ? Why isn't is up to DH to explain it to his parents ? He uses the study, he has 2 children, his house is no longer big enough to accomodate a double guest bed. There is still a single guest bed - so MIL can visit - but when they both come they will have to stay somewhere locally.

Once a year - no big deal - it can be an exciting new experience for them. And maybe spin it that it will be more peaceful than sharing cramped accomodation with two young children.

Are ILs actually flying to be with you, ie some expense on their part and staying for a period of time? We always give up our bedroom for mine and DH's parents. It's the biggest room, so means they can leave their belongings in there and there's still room for me and DH to get our things as and we need them. We've a double sofabed in the front room and we don't feel we need to same privacy in our home as guests. It's a comfortable sofabed and I've slept on there when pregnant. The parents aren't getting any younger and I think their comfort and my hospitality are important. Sounds like there's more going on here than a simple who sleeps where scenario.

In that case, buy the bed under a bed for DD, it will be useful come sleepover age anyway. Give PiL your bed and get monitors for DC, you could even have DC2 in a travel cot downstairs in the study while night waking.
Or, wait until DH doesn't need the desk as you mentioned. I assume you have a double bed over from spare room, keep it in DC2's room, use money earmarked for sofa beds to get a more suitable desk.

I don't know... I understand your DH loves his desk, but I would personally feel bad about having family sleeping on the floor because of it. If replacing the desk makes everyone happy, I'm sure he would consider it, especially as he won't need it forever anyway.

You need to stop calling your house a 4BD and accept that it is a 3BD with a study!

I think that the best solution is to buy DD one of the trundle beds that converts to a small double (would be useful down the line for sleepovers too) that MIL and FIL use when they stay, and move DD into either your room or New DC room when they are with you.

Can your daughter have a double bed which ILs can use whilst with you & she can be in with you on an airbed?

Could you not put a double sofa bed in your living area instead?

Yes LtEve I agree.
Given that i am currently house-hunting and I see lots of 4 and 5 beds advertised, I find myself very frustrated to see that it's as you say 3 and a study, or 5 bed with 3 upstairs and 2 downstairs (one of which is small enough to be study and the other which is instead of a dining room)

OK I have a new idea - do you have an alternative room you can put them in when they're here? What I will probably end up doing (when the time comes) is making half the conservatory a bit 'bedroomy' so that it can be used by guests on the occasional times they visit. I will get some sort of put-up beds that can be stored away when guests are not here. They'd go to bed at the same time as us anyway so it's not like we'd be up keeping them awake.

Or if money is no object you could buy one of those log cabin things? My neighbour has one that acts as a spare room (has heating, electricity, a big double bed, plasma telly all mod cons, gorgeous/unusual and better than a hotel!).

We have 2 children and a small 2 bedroom house. Visiting relatives who stay with us sleep in the sofa bed in the sitting room, or on an airbed in our daughter's room.

Would there be room in the study for a double airbed? that way, you could inflate it when the in-laws come round, and have floor space the rest of the time.

I think it would be crazy to totally organise your house around the occasional short visit from in-laws, but I also think that "not enough room" is a bit of a pathetic excuse for not having them to stay when you have a 4 bedroomed house, especially when one of the children is a baby.

Then I'd think long term.

What is the downstairs room going to be once your DH has finished his PhD? A spare room/den/study? Then get a day bed with trundle underneath like this - or a double sofa bed, and a smaller desk.

Upstairs, get one of your DC a convertible bed ][http://www.johnlewis.com/230518610/Product.aspx like this]] that can convert to a double if need be.

It's DH's desk, and it's DH's parents so he has to choose between a happy desk or a happy mum and dad. Get a smaller desk (possibly one that also folds) and a comfy but not enormous sofa bed. The doctorate won't last forever either... Your children can then stay in their rooms, you can stay in your room, your guests can have independence. Only the desk is sad.

Sheep, I thought I had said lots of times (but reading up, I probably wasn't clear), a single plus trundle won't fit because a single can't be folded up during the rest of the year. A single sofabed plus single air mattress might.

A posh double air mattress probably will, actually. And then I can just buy a cheap chair for the rest of the year. Hmmmm.

You know, I think the frustration here is mirroring frustration I didn't know I had, but I do! Because I want a smaller desk too. And some floor space. And if they do stay I don't really mind them staying in one of the kids' rooms and the kid in with us, but DH does mind. Hell, I suggested that the kids share a room altogether, we keep the study and the guest room and turn the landing into a playroom for DD's stuff. So yes, this should totally not be my problem, because I have come up with all these bloody solutions already.

But I can't let DH sort it out, it won't BE sorted out, and I want my house sorted out and decorated and the right furniture bought because I am HORMONAL and NESTING DAMMIT.

I would get this for dds room and let them sleep on that and get an airbed or toddler mattress like this for dd to sleep on in any of the 4 rooms. You can keep it in the loft for the 51 weeks its not in use.

Oh. Suddenly your problems make a lot more sense. If you are nesting, probably no solution will be good enough, It goes against all your instincts, but if you can't get everything just right, try and aim for temporarily OK and make long-term plans when your hormones aren't demanding perfection right this instant.

You need one of these ;)

www.studybed.co.uk/model-range/

show him this thread then. Let him decide - but warn him your are hormonal and nesting and you want it nice (or else ....).

And then stick your fingers in your ears and say loudly la la la la la la

Tortoise, I think you need to give your DH the options available, clearly and in bulet point!

• His parents have to stay in hotel
• He needs a smaller desk to allow room for sofabed in the office
• Children share a room, so can keep to the same arrangement
• Children share a room when his parents stay and they have one of the childrens rooms

You need to point out that its his parents and he needs to pull his head out from his arse!

BTW, what happens when your parents want to stay (if that happens)

Tortoise, if you had a collapsible desk and wall-mounted bookshelves, in order to maximise the floor space, what's the biggest bed arrangement that would fit in the room? If it's already been used as a guest room you must have had some kind of bed in there?

Metalelephant is right- it all comes down to whether your DH likes the desk more than he likes having a cordial relationship with his parents. The desk is least likely to come out of this with hurt feelings and a massive grudge.

If the landing is big enough to become a play area, then it should be big enough to accommodate The Big Desk- and hey presto, it becomes a Children's Play Desk And Treasured Family Heirloom. Collapsible desk in study/guest room, DH has to put all of his crap work stuff away tidily when ILs visit. Everyone's a winner.

Maybe the answer is to do nothing and let him sort it out? I guess it's him who gets the notice that they're coming and when (a phone call or whatever). As that day approaches he'll start worrying about where to put them and then he'll HAVE to come up with a solution. Take to your bed the day before they're due and refuse to move, so it's not even an option to have your room.