not to accomodate my in-laws? Ok, it's a WWYD really.

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I've just accidentally got rid of the guest bedroom, is the thing:

I have a 4BD house. 3BD are upstairs along with the master bathroom, currently deposed as master/DD's/study. The 4th is downstairs in a sort of side extension, next to the second bathroom. This is very handy for guests, who therefore have a lot of privacy - as do we. Also it means we don't have to deep clean the upstairs

The study is used regularly by DH, who is in the finishing stages of his doctorate, and by me as a sewing/craft room. The guest room is used 2 or 3 times a year by his mother. Once a year she is accompanied by his father, that's the only time he visits. I have posted before about the family culture being that One Does Not Stay In Hotels.

We're expecting a second child. We decided to give them separate rooms. Obviously DC2 has to be upstairs as well. So we turned downstairs into a study/guest room; it's far more convenient to have the study downstairs for various reasons. This meant replacing the spare bed with a sofabed.

ANYWAY. Turns out the room's smaller than we thought and the desk is bigger. So we have this lovely newly painted room, with the desk and the bookshelf in it...and we can't fit a double sofabed in there. Like, really not at all. Well, not if you want to get in and out of the room, anyway.

So. Either we can buy a single sofabed, which means that MIL can stay over but not with FIL. Or buy a double and put it...in the baby's room? And the baby can come in with us during their stays? Which means they'll be staying upstairs after all, without their own bathroom and with all the attendant nocturnal kid-related disturbance. The only other option I can see, replacing the desk and bookshelf with much smaller versions to free up space, costs money we don't have, and also having a nice big desk is v v useful.

They're going to be offended anyway I slice this, aren't they?

Yup, thought of smaller desk and bookshelf - only problem there is that we are skint and also DH insists he neeeeeeeeds the big desk. I don't think he will need it in a few months, but he made it and he is all attached to it and stuff.

They are moving into a family home for a few days with very young children.

Would they really expect their own bedroom and a private room in separate quarters? Surely not, it's only a 4 bed house - not a manor house.

Are they really going to be upset over this OP, or are you catastrophising?

We got beds for the DD's that had a slightly smaller single that went underneath, and pulled out when needed. A bit like this

Would that be an option?

So is there no room for an open double bed in there, or just not for a sofa bed?

Yeah, I don't really know. MIL is one of those pointed subtle dig sorts of women, FIL is a straight-out bully (but too pathetic to be scary) and DH is always scrambling to justify himself to them/impress them, so I do have a tendency to try and anticipate offence.

Plus they did not deal well with us not coming over for Christmas.

I think we just have to put a bed in DC2's room. The bonus there, I guess, is that there's somewhere for a parent to sleep in sickness/growth spurt emergencies. We just really liked having some distance from guests at night!

That's what I suggested earlier up the thread Rosie. Seems like the best option

bed in a box?

bed in a cupboard?

The thing is Tortoise you are trying to accommodate them, and right now this is the best you can do.

I suggest you fit your spare room with one of those single beds that converts to a double. Then your MIL has a room when she comes, and if she brings FIL and they 'refuse' to stay in a hotel they'll have to cope with having no space. Alternatively get a single bed and an extra single mattress for slinging on the floor.

They don't HAVE to have their own bathroom, they're very lucky that they do. If they need a private bathroom they should be in a hotel! As per the above you should arrange your house around the permanent occupants. Don't move your children out of their rooms - how is that going to work in 15 years time??

FWIW I have all this to come, but if my parents absolutely MUST have a second grandchild (which they insist the must :o) then that child needs a room and that means our house isn't big enough for them to get a massive guest room to themselves. Similarly I won't expect my parents to build on an extra room (or move out of their own room to accommodate us all) when we go to stay there.

Do you actually want your ILs to stay?

No room for either. We thought we'd be alright with a small double but actually the desk is so big that with a sofabed as well, you can't get into the room. A single sofabed/chair would fit, that's all.

Rosie, do you mean, get the bed+trundle for DD and then put the younger one in with her so the in-laws can have the other bedroom?

There seem to be simple soloutions to your problems, I think your issue is that you want them to stay in a hotel really.

MyDog, we can't get a single bed that converts into the spare room. The only thing that will fit is a single sofabed, which would mean no floor space when extended into a bed.

Bonkers, well, MIL is actually pretty nice most of the time and has very kindly flown over to help us out with DD a few times over the past couple of years. It's just impossible to know what she's really thinking/wants because she's not straightforward. Wouldn't be at all upset if FIL never stayed over, but he's DH's Dad, and he's family, and he's more of a pontificating drunken bore than an actually nasty person, so once a year is fine by me.

Would a single bed + airbed fit in the downstairs 'separate' room?

I think you should make sure they have room to stay. Asking them to stay in a hotel when you have a 4 bedroom house and 2 children is awful. IMHO.

Unless I have misunderstood your post, in which case, apologies.

Bed with a pull out bed underneath as a few people have said - problem solved.

I'd get a posh airbed - my brother has one from john lewis - with covers on it is just like a real bed and comfy. It is the same height as a bed aswell. My retired mum sleeps on it no complaints.

Move desk for duration of their stay. A hassle but ensures you have a nice study for the rest of the time.

I'd try to find a way to keep the study as an occasional guest room, it'd be far less intrusive for everyone if they are on a different floor / using a separate bathroom.

I'd go for either a single bed with pullout bed , or double sofa bed, and instead of the big desk I'd get an IKEA table with removable legs that you can take down to make space for visitors. Table top can be as big as you like then, you can get drawer units to fit under. This is how our study/spare room works and it's convenient.

Donate the big desk to one of the DCs maybe ?

Notso, I think my (well, DH's to be honest) issue is that I'm happy for them to stay but I've really liked having the distance and the privacy that the current set-up allows. Having them stay half a metre away in my kid's room feels very different. So I'm madly hoping for a magical solution that somehow bends the laws of time and space.

I don't think they need floor space, if an extra 'bed' was on the floor (whether a trundle or an air bed or futon mattress or whatever?).

My SIL bought a mattress 'topper' as a spare bed and it is actually quite comfy to sleep on (from IKEA) and just thrown in loft when not being used).

Bed with a pull out bed underneath as a few people have said - problem solved.

Get the single sofa bed for the study for when MIL visits alone. When it's both of them, get a double airbed and put it either in the lounge (FIL will have to stay up late) or in one of the kids rooms and put the kids in together. If they don't like these options, then suggest a hotel.

Would the bed fit if you get rid of the bookshelf and put shelves on the wall over the desk?

When does your DH finish his phd? Does he intend to keep the desk when he's done?

We have a similar prob, 2 DCs, 3bed house. Both sets of grandparents live away and mine come for a week or more at a time so bit expensive to hotel for that timeframe. Plus you miss out on them looking after the DC's while you have a lie if they are away at a hotel, surely one of the great reasons to have gp's to stay!

We got around the prob by DS1(nearly 4) upgrading to a single bed which has another pull out bed underneath (duo bed from John Lewis).

When visitors come they have this bed, it can be either twin beds or pushed together for a king. DS1 decamps to an air bed on DS2's floor.
Only one bathroom so everyone shares that (plus downstairs cloakroom).

If any visitors not happy with the arrangements they can find their own alternative accomodation. Job done!