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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that I have only had 3 rsvps to my DS party...

62 replies

HowAnnoying · 15/06/2011 21:07

one of which is a no!
I gave them to nursery on Tuesday and thats all I've had. I'm feeling really bad, and keep checking my phone every bloody 5 minutes. What will I tell him if I have to cancel?

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 15/06/2011 21:08

:(

When's the party?

QuintessentialShadow · 15/06/2011 21:08

You gave 3-4 weeks notice, right?

I remember that to be the norm in the UK.

Here people give invites 3 days before the event....

thisisyesterday · 15/06/2011 21:10

you only gave them out yesterday! calm down lol

Hulababy · 15/06/2011 21:11

You handed them out yesterday?
When is the party?

Give it a few days yet.

Original poster
HowAnnoying · 15/06/2011 21:11

It's the first weekend of July, so I would have thought that would be enough notice, I've only ever done small family parties in the garden, this is my first "proper" party I've done. He's so excited about it to.

OP posts:
vigglewiggle · 15/06/2011 21:12

How old is DS? If he's at nursery I presume he's too young to notice, or care. What have you planned? Why would you have to cancel? Could you not carry on with 4 or 5 guests?

I would imagine you will get a few more takers as time goes on. People are generally rubbish at replying to these things.

ceebeegeebies · 15/06/2011 21:13

I will keep you company - DS1 gave out his invites at school yesterday and so far I have had one response from his best friend (whose mum I am also friendly with!) - nothing from anyone else.

But I keep trying to remember if I rsvp straight away when DS1 gets invites and I don't think I do tbh...one of those jobs that I keep thinking I need to do but don't get round to.

How old wil your DS be?

Ismeyes · 15/06/2011 21:13

The dreaded RSVP wait, its awful, especially if you are the kind of uptight organised person like me who RSVPs as soon as you receive the invitation. You will probably have to chase, but give them abit longer yet. Did you put an RSVP by date on the invite?

clemetteattlee · 15/06/2011 21:14

It is pretty normal for it to take up to ten days for people to RSVP to a nursery party IME. Some of the children won't have been at nursery those days, some may be on holiday. Relax, it will be fine (why would you have to cancel?)

LetThereBeCake · 15/06/2011 21:15

yanbu. I hate this. Really do.

hopenglory · 15/06/2011 21:15

bloody hell, just relax for a few days, it's barely been 24 hours yet! Takes me a while to check diaries, and most invitations will probably still be sitting in bags until the weekend at the earliest

Hulababy · 15/06/2011 21:16

Plenty of notice. Now give them a few days. Did you put a rsvp date on the invites?

If you are still waiting for rsvps a week before the party, chase them - telephone or ask in person.

littleducks · 15/06/2011 21:17

There are millions of threads on this, RSVP just doesn't work anymore.

The MN tip is to not putr full details of venue or time on invite so parents have to call you to get full details and confirm.

I didnt have the nerve to do that though.

For dd's party, I had 9 positive replies and 17 turned up (not all of the 9, who said they would!) And had replies on the morning o the party despite putting a RSVP by the poreceeding Monday.

SpeedyGonzalez · 15/06/2011 21:18

By 'Tuesday' you mean yesterday, right? Not two Tuesdays ago?

Relax. Breathe. You haven't given then anywhere near enough time. Their lives do not revolve around your DS' party. All will be well.

TidyDancer · 15/06/2011 21:19

Aw, it's too early to worry, but really, YANBU. It's a horrible feeling waiting for the RSVPs, I completely sympathise.

girliefriend · 15/06/2011 21:19

Did you put a time scale to rsvp? A lot of parents waited til the very last moment to reply to my dds invites, I also guesstamated a 10% non attendance which worked out about right.

Original poster
HowAnnoying · 15/06/2011 21:20

He's going to be 4, he will notice, he's very excited about it. I didn't expect everyone to come but even if I got half of who I invited it would be enough. I'm just going to have to hope I get some more replies.

Is it normal for people not to RSVP straight away then?

OP posts:
PikaTYchu · 15/06/2011 21:21

I didnt get any rsvp's to ds' party, everyone turned up, did you invite any dc that are nothing to do with nursery to keep the amount of people up? :)

hopenglory · 15/06/2011 21:22

RSVP does not stand for 'go straight home, check your diary and get straight back to me before doing anything else' Wink

Groovee · 15/06/2011 21:23

Some parents don't always get the invite right away. I had a mum telling me that she was upset that I'd not invited her ds to the party and then her husband had to step in and say he'd RSVP'ed and put it on the notice board but hadn't told mum cos she was working and he'd be taking him.

I only start to worry in the week leading up and then ask if they are coming.

Original poster
HowAnnoying · 15/06/2011 21:23

OK, I'm worrying way to early. I get it. I will re-start the thread a week from now if things havn't improved!
THanks for putting me at ease.

OP posts:
ceebeegeebies · 15/06/2011 21:24

I could do with knowing if anyone is not coming as DS1 has a 'reserve' list and obviously I don't want to invite anyone with just 1 week's notice!

vigglewiggle · 15/06/2011 21:26

I really think you are jumping the gun. I consider myself pretty good at replying to invites, but it can still take me a couple of days to get round to it. Did you really only hand them out yesterday?

Stop thinking about it and don't build up your DS's expectaions any further until you know what is happening. I'm sure at the grand old age of 4, he'll be more than happy with 6 pals coming over to chase around the garden and eat cake Smile.

mossip · 15/06/2011 21:26

yes, they don't want to seem too eager. The good rsvp'rs will reply after about three days. Make sure you acknowledge them - or they'll be worried you haven't received their text.

Others - who like to play games - will leave it right until the last minute. I know of one mother who says - "he has said he doesn't want to come~" then at the last minute, says "he's changed his mind and he will be coming". They do this to everyone, every year.

Others are just too busy/tired and they'll come back to you /or not when they get a chance.

Chase up a few people you feel confident about after a week. At age 4 they won't realise if 4 or 34 people turn up - really. Or if you have some nephews and nieces call them in, just in case.

But usually, it all works out fine. and try not to worry.

MerylStrop · 15/06/2011 21:27

It's too early to worry - but in my experience folks forget if they get the invitation too far in advance. I'd have no hesitation in texting people or sending reminders. Noone will think you are a freak if you do.