AIBU to think the foul language and vulgar tone of these threads is just too much

[onceamai]

During the last few days the foul language, just a quick skim through the AIBU headings reveals such awful words, has been such that I don't think I will be coming back again too often. Mumsnet - Middle Class - Parenting orientated - really, is it really? Vulgar, nasty, ill mannered, spring more easily to mind. What a shame.

Back to swearing though, I don't mind swearing when it used in a funny way or to express a strength of feeling. It can make a poster come across very authenticly a lot of the time, - but if it gets over used or used as a weapon it looks a bit nasty.

this thread cheered me up so much last night I can't thank you cunts enough. Really. I think I found the cure for chronic depression

Yes, I don't think I've ever seen Mumsnet chipping in before.

cough < smiles nicely>

its like having a teacher walk in the room when you know you have been naughty.

Bubcakessndcunting - my brain does like swearing, in fact it loves it - but only in certain situations ( passion and anger ) it's superficial and meaningless in any other situation.

I'm not a big swearer. Not in RL and not on MN. I don't particularly object to it when other people do it as ultimately a swear word is still just a word. Different countries and parts of the UK interpret some swearwords to be "worse" than others so the whole area is totally subjective.

If you have the vocabularly you can be far more cutting and hurtful without needing to resort to swear words and thats OK? I felt the OP was far more snide and judgemental than many posts I've seen on MN with swearwords in.

And as for the argument about you wouldn't say in RL what you say on MN - would you really march up to a stranger you heard swearing and say "I really don't much are for the cut of your jib, you underbelly of society. You're the reason this country is going to the dogs". Would you? Really?

Things can get silly and using swear words for effect is a bit childish. But people are allowed to be childish. And if you start a thread being so scathing of those who like to talk that way then surely you have the imagination to grasp that those who don't like to be told how to behave nicely (elbows off the table please whilst you're eating) are going to respond childishly just to try to irritate you.

What on earth kind of response were you expecting?

I aspire to have a steam mop.

@sausagesandmarmelade

Helen, it's good to actually get some input from the Mumsnet team....

As someone said...I don't think people object to the odd swear word being thrown into a comment...but to swear for swearing's sake just seems really juvenile and does NOTHING for the reputation of this site...which is already fairly tarnished (as observed on google before I joined recently).

I do think there needs to be a little more moderation myself (but then again I don't own the site). Swearing in opening posts just puts me right off...and I think from now I'll maybe avoid those.

Again...thanks for the input. It's nice to know that the team actually do look in from time to time and that it's not a total free for all here.

Thank you, sausagesandmarmelade.

Here is what we say in our Talk Guidelines about swearing: "It's not our policy to delete swearwords (we are all adults, after all) but we do draw the line at obscenity, racist and disablist language, and wording that is truly beyond the pale. So, if you're not sure which side of that line your swearword of choice may fall, it might be best not to use it."

We hear what you're saying about swearing for swearing's sake but our stance has always been that, as someone said earlier this morning, everyone has different "offence thresholds" with different swearwords. It would be very difficult to intervene every time someone was offended as we simply wouldn't know where to draw the line.

As ever, though, we value folks' opinions. And if most people don't want to see any swearing in thread titles, for example, then we'd obviously take that on board.

Primal - I find quite a lot of what people say superficial and meaningless not just the swear words.

@spookshowangel

its like having a teacher walk in the room when you know you have been naughty.

Oi, you at the back, settle down or we'll be keeping you back after school.

Banning thread titles with swear words in would surely be like telling the police to arrest every person who utters a swear word out in public. And anyway swearing in public/in thread titles gives me fair notice to avoid.

and now that I've had my say, I shall fuck off.

I think some of the more vulgar title threads ought to be moderated. The "licked out" and "giving head" .... title threads cross a theshold I think.

"Are you seriously telling me that swearing/not swearing is the barometer of intellect? If so, someone had better have a word with all of those authors/film makers/playwrights etc who enjoy a good eff and jeff now and then."

No not saying it's a barometer of intellect - but that the posts containing lots of swearing often don't contain as much that is worth reading. Swearing has its place in literature and comedy but it has lost much of its power now it is over-used. It's become a bore.

Helen,

I am not personally offended...I'm made of stronger stuff tbh...BUT as I said...it does put me off and, I do believe that it brings your site into disrepute.

But thanks for your response anyway...

sausages, many of us take refuge in Mumsnet because they don;t ban swearing. I don't swear (or not much) but I found posting on a site where even the mildest of swearwords was changed to a differnt word or asterixed out was unbearably twee.

I was devastated - near suicidal in fact - to be accused of being a (gasp) gypsy wedding attendant last night, and to be a member of the soft underbelly of society, responsible for the demise of Britain and to thus need a good glassing.

Or maybe not :)

But I do feel that people who think that's OK, but that swearwords are not, have a warped morality and that leads to terrible things like BBC light entertainment and knitted toilet roll holders.

absolutely omigawd. Vagabond was unbelievably entertaining though. made me realise how much I miss giggling at the outbursts of Mary Whitehouse.

I don't like swearing in thread titles as they are printed bigger than the chat underneath and my children can see them when they pass by and I'm on MN in the living room. But I don't feel strongly about it enough to leave MN (although this thread really has made me feel it's a twattish place to be right now).

I swear at home, say chatting with my husband or with very good friends, for emphasis, but I don't swear at work or in public or in front of the children. I have never ever and never will call anyone a 'fucking cunt' and the people that say they would do this in real-life, say to another mum, must be lying unless they like being punched (or said it in a hilariously ironic way to a good friend). The person who mentioned being glassed wasn't recommending it, but pointing out that in RL, if you call people you don't know names like that, that's what you risk. Being hard on the internet is quite different than in RL.

Oh my god. I come off this site for one night. ONE NIGHT and I miss this. MNHQ its great to see you come and really clarify your thoughts on this. I cant imagine how you would police it to be honest. I love a good swear word and will happily use them in RL as well as here but I am another one who does not really like them in thread titles. It's a bit attention seeking for a start and whilst AIBU is an uncompromising awesome bear pit, if it spills onto the rest of the site I think newbies might just find it all a bit too much.

Ohhhhh.... I see!

I thought it was a joke; "Mumsnet - Middle Class - Parenting orientated " being the 'swear words' in question? is it not then?