to draw your attention to this little-understood condition that destroys lives?

[MadameOvary]

Hi, I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to talk about a condition that really, really, needs widespread recognition.

I'm talking about EDD
Or Empathy Deficit Disorder

Symptoms can include:

1)Believing what you read in the Daily Mail

2)Voting Conservative

3)Posting judgemental shite on parenting forums.

4)Complete inability to step into another's shoes and feel some sympathy for their circumstances.

If you score more than three out of four, you too, may have EDD.

Thanks for reading.

I'm taking the llamas to Mustique on the DLA money next week (observant readers will note it's in term time) We will dine on Krave

Actually I hate goats, the slitty eyed bastards, they need to go back to where they came from, especially those ones that sneak onto cattle trucks in Calais, why can't they stay in France?

bothall my llamas limp. Madlizzy. They have been trained in fraud and fecklessness from birth.

Machine - because they can't get Krave in France.

All fucking claiming asylum, bleating about their human goat rights

EDD? It wasn't around when I were a lass! It's a modern phenomenon!

I'm beginning to sense some anti goat feeling developing here...

Has anyone mentioned gay and lesbian goats yet?

I'm OK - I can only tick one.

And as long as I'm alright I don't care about the rest of you! OK

Krave? My granddad fought in the war, he had to eat scraps from the allotment, and I only get to eat Alpen at Christmas, why should these bleaters who've not paid any tax or fought in any world wars get delicious chocolatety cereal, then? Eh? You know the council bumps them up the priority list for Krave while the rest of us have to stay put and eat Lidl cornflakes in our bedsits.

If the fucking goats have to come here, I only want the white ones who share our culture to come. And they can only get Krave after they've lived here and paid my benefits paid tax for 15 years. And their countries can't beat us at the footie, right, cos we are a superior footballing nation.

I've got no problem with gay goats, I just don't want them rubbing their beast with two backs activity in my face, know what I mean?

A whole bunch of goats just moved in and set up camp on my friend's, sister's, BIL's front lawn then stole the lead off the roof.

I know its true cos she told me and it happens all the time apparently

Anyway they are not really goats, not proper ones, how can they call themselves goats when they dont wear bells and live in mountainous (sp) regions?

The fucking goat next door to me has a 62' plasma.

The goats on my friend's, sister's, BIL's front lawn nicked it off a 98 year old war veteran and sold it to them.

I'm not impartial, however, to a bit of lesbian goat porn. No such thing as lesbian goats, anyway, they just need a good seeing to by a real man, ask that Caligula. And don't get me started on exploitation and trafficking, those feminist goats have gone too far, if a nanny goat wants exploit her beautiful assets for a bit of pin money, who are you to argue, it's her body and it's harming nobody. If my own 15 year old goat told me she wanted to be a lesbian prostitute goat porn star, I'd be fully supportive.

Can i bloody afford a 62'' plasma to watch my goat porn on though? No I can't. Those suspiciously beige goats next door have got one though and boast about it on facebook. They are claiming benefits but I know for a fact one of them works as an extra on Big Barn Farm. Shall I shop them to the social?

Gawd, these flippin goats, I'm at the end of my tether.

Those goats that like to shave down there are a bit weird, aren't they? Do you think their husbands like to fantasise about miniature goats?

Will no one think of the ponies? The little tiny Shetland ponies?

And next doors goats spend all their benefits on fags. Feel sorry for their poor kids.

Are you some sort of paedio, TruthSweet?

I think the only reasonable thing to do is to get all the immigrant goats to sit some sort of exam on what its like to be a shetland pony....just to make sure they would fit in and be porductive members of our community.

Lets say they need to get 80% right on the written test

Goats are dirty thieving little bastards and I'm not afraid to say it. Because of them, my kids school have banned the story of the Billy Goats Gruff, they say it's prejudiced against goats. It's PC gorn mad, I tell you.

I imagine that most native Shetland Ponies couldn't score 80% on a test about what it's like to be a Shetland Pony, MigratingCoconuts. But that's ok, cos I'm sure all their granddads pulled carts in the trenches.

That doesn't matter muminthecity because they have a right to be here anyway....