in being pissed off with friend for letting SIL down?

[wineinhand]

Namechanger - not sure if friend is a MNer.

Basically SIL is a photographer, she wants to specialize in newborn photography. I put her in touch with a friend of mine who has a (prem) newborn. They arranged a time together, then friend let her down. Too exhausted. Can't be rearranged as baby will be too big (can't 'mould' after a certain age). Friend would have had free 7x5" photo for her trouble.

I feel bad that SIL has been let down by someone I recommended. I sent a message apologizing. If I thought she'd be unreliable I wouldn't have suggested her.

DH thinks friend may be starting to get PND. We can't see her ATM due to contagious pox in the house. I'm sort of torn as I remember the horror of newborn exhaustion (I have PND), but on the other hand, all she had to do was drive 20 mins and 'be there'. Nothing else really.

WWYD? Any thoughts please?

I really hate those photos. Urgh.

OP, you are in an akward position so I understand where you are coming from feeling bad about the whole thing but I think sil should exepct a certain amount of "unrelaliabilty" when dealing with parents of newbonrs, especially a premie baby.

Yes, I know its not the point of the thread, but gosh, don't they look uncomfortable they remind me of those weird reborn dolls!

Life with a prem baby, is, I suspect a little different from life with a term baby. Depending on how prem the baby is, she may have hospital appts and follow-ups, or she may still be feeling anxious and shocked about her DD being born earlier than expected. Unless you are in her shoes, you don't really know what's going on behind closed doors. I don't think she has done anything bad. Perhaps you would be a better 'friend' to her if you went round with some flowers and checked whether she is OK/needs a hand rather than having a go at her on here...

Perhaps she realised how creepy those photos were and thought better of it?

I would agree with that antsy

But also, from SIL´s POV-she would have been getting experience plus (I assume) additions to her portfolio-so it´s not as if she was doing it just out of the "goodness of her heart".

'too old to mould'...??

20 minutes drive with a possibly cluster-feeding prem newborn, just for a free photo?

I used to find getting to hospital appointments in between feeds at that point a huge ordeal. And they were important, and had to happen!

Please remember that Tiredness Kills on the roads.

It can't be good for the baby to be moulded. Revoltingly creepy photos.

Urgh. Those photos are hideous. Why on earth would anyone want to take them/have them taken.

My DD was prem. There is no way I would have allowed her to be 'moulded' like that.

DS wasn't prem, but wouldn't have wanted him moulded either.

Horrible.

I can't bear those sort of photos. A newborn baby isn't a toy. perhaps your friend thought better of it when she had time to reflect.

The style of those pictures is grotesque! frankly, if I had ever had any pictures like that of my DCs, I would have expected a knock on the door from Social Services!

I don't blame your friend one little bit. i didn't when I read your Op and I certainly done't having seen what your SIl was proposing subjecting her baby to.