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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

We should send everyone who wasn't born here back to where they came from!!

91 replies

portaloo · 13/06/2011 20:41

I have spent the best part of the day discussing immigrants/asylum seekers with my friend. I wish I hadn't bothered. It feels like it was a waste of my time and energy and has left me seething with impotent rage hours after she has gone home.
We have had this conversation so many times, and yet she point blank refuses to believe she is in fact in a minority wrt her opinions and bloody heartless too imvho.
She throws facts at me, and just winds me up, so I have come on here to rant really, because I am too angry to come to a decision as to whether I want to be her friend anymore.
My friend believes that ;
Most immigrants come to this country and commit crime to fund their lifestyles here.
Immigrants should not ever benefit from state support or social housing.
If immigrants were thrown out of social housing, there would be enough social housing to give every British born person a social housing property.
Asylum seekers should fuck off back to their own country, where their own govt should look after them, and if their own govt doesn't look after them, then tough.
British govt should plough more money into British people instead of sending money overseas, because AFA friend is concerned, British people are suffering as much as people overseas with homelessness and alcoholism etc.
If immigration was stopped tomorrow, and all immigrants were made to return back to their country of origin, the UK would not suffer at all economically.
We shouldn't spend a penny on foreign aid while our own people are starving in hospitals and homeless.
My friend answers everything with 'They're not British, so not my problem and most British people think the same way, we want rid of them.' She says all of this with a smirk on her face. She tells me she is a bigot and proud of it.

I don't profess to know much about our reasons for giving so much to foreign aid, or whether immigrants are entitled to state help/social housing straightaway as from May 1st this year as my friend seems to think, but we are all fucking people and some people have fled from situations we can't begin to imagine, let alone live through. I feel genuinely sad that there are people out there dying for the sake of clean water, I don't begrudge a single person no matter what fucking country they live in an immunisation, and if we can help them, I have no issue with that whatsoever.

Incidentally, I asked my friend how she could even have that opinion when she didn't bother working at all until she was 38 years old, and even then, openly admitted that she would never ever earn more than equivalent to JSA, because she doesn't believe it is her responsibility to pay her own rent/CT and point blank refuses to ever pay any of it. She currently lives from a little money her pensioner mother gives her every week to live on. How can she begrudge someone else any help at all when she has spent her entire fucking life being supported by other people. Obviously this is only one side of my friend, and this topic doesn't crop up very often, maybe because she knows how I feel about it, but if she thinks like that, it actually scares me how many people do think like this. She can't possibly be the only one can she?? How can anyone begrudge a child clean water? Immunisations? A safe home? Food? I just don't get it!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and breatheeeeeeeeeeeee!!

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thegruffalosma · 13/06/2011 20:55

The biggest flaw (and there are many) I find with the 'send them back' argument is that quite a lot of immigrants are married/in relationships with British people and have children. Do they think that the immigrant should return to their country of origin alone or with their mixed race child or are we kicking the British person out of the country too? I've never had a satisfactory answer to that question. But then again it's probably because I would sooner smear myself in my own excrement than converse with the racist arseholes who would need to explain it.

PigWhisperer · 13/06/2011 20:55
portaloo · 13/06/2011 20:58

Before I pointed out that we had all been immigrants at one point, she used to say that only British White people should be allowed to live here. Shock

I asked her if she thought that should include surgeons, doctors, engineers, scientists etc etc. She would say 'Yes, it should include all of those people.'
I told her then that it was hypocritical to say that, then see the Dr at our surgery who is not white and British and expect him to treat her. I told her that the right thing to do next time she needs a Dr at our surgery would be to check which Dr she had been booked to see, and refuse on the grounds he wasn't white and British, and to tell them exactly why she was refusing.

She replied 'I don't need to see a Dr very often.'

I don't think I can continue to be friends with her. Even if she doesn't mention it ever again, I'll know she believes it. How do you get someone like this to change their bloody attitude??
Right now, I'd like to drop her off in a war torn country, and leave her there. Angry

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HellAtWork · 13/06/2011 20:58

Apart from she's a twat and not worth the time you have spent on her...

do you pay tax?

Don't mean it as a personal or judgmental question from me....just that every time she smoked a fag, bought a sandwich, paid for a bus fare I might be tempted to say

"stop smoking my taxes" "stop eating my taxes" "stop travelling on my taxes" blah blah blah to the extent that you become as boring and as monotonous as her.

Although, to be fair I think the friendship would have died a death even after a short time of your tax chat!

(and that's not because I think anyone on JSA is dole-scum stealing my taxes, it's because it's the same childish blinkered repetitive bigoted view she's got right back at her - at the very least she is boring as a friend surely?)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/06/2011 21:00

I'm always a little bit dubious of people reporting back what their 'friends' say. It seems very odd somehow. Hmm

To be honest, I wouldn't be discussing this for the 'best part of a day'; ten minutes to get their measure then I'd be off as there's no way we could come to a meeting of minds and it would be a deal-breaker for me friendship-wise. Odd... Confused

TattyDevine · 13/06/2011 21:02

I'd love to ask her some questions. If she sends me home, does that mean all the British people living in my country also have to go home?

What about my children. They were born here. Do they go home with me or stay here with DH?

So if I sell my properties, would she be okay with me taking that money back to my home country and the immense profit I made on it here in this country?

KingCnut · 13/06/2011 21:02

I'd just pity towards her that she has to go through her life utterly devoid of any critical thinking capacity.

Then I'd step away from the mentalist....

topazmcgonagall · 13/06/2011 21:05

Time to find a new friend.

KingCnut · 13/06/2011 21:06

Roar at Revoltingpeasant's friend! Grin

portaloo · 13/06/2011 21:08

Mutt Sorry for not replying before, I was writing the last post, and it took a while. Grin

This conversation with my friendHmm has only come up twice in all the time I have known her, the rest of the time, she seems just like all my other friends.
I suppose I had hoped that the last time we had this conversation, some of what I'd said had sunk in, because she didn't mention it again, until today of course.

Thegrufalosma My friend's answer to your question (which is a good question btw) is that when British people have relationships/marry foreign people, it is the British people who should move abroad to their partners country, not the other way around. Angry

I fucking hate how she sat there saying British people, somehow forgetting about Scottish, Irish and Welsh, or maybe they are foreigners to her too.

The last time we had this conversation was the general election before last, when she said she was going to vote BNP, I fucking kid you not!!!!

Am I evil to have wished that only the people who voted for the BNP had to live by their policies?? (I know it's not feasible btw.)

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MadamDeathstare · 13/06/2011 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NormanTebbit · 13/06/2011 21:09

She's just thick TBH

whydobirdssuddenlyappear · 13/06/2011 21:09

'Asylum seekers should fuck off back to their own country, where their own govt should look after them, and if their own govt doesn't look after them, then tough.'
OK. So in the case where someone's fleeing an oppressive regime, she'd 'send them back' so their government could look after them? Don't even know where to start with that one. She's basically saying 'I don't give a shit if someone else has to go through absolute hell, loses everything, and then dies horribly, possibly as a result of torture, just as long as British-born (presumably read 'white') people get their council houses quicker'.
We are so, so lucky in this country. We have safe, readily available water. We have (in the main) personal freedom). We have the facility to better ourselves. We have free education, universally available. Shame so many are so spiteful about it all, and would like to hold it up, out of reach of the least fortunate in the world, taunting them like a playground bully.
She sounds like an absolute peach. At least, she sounds like the Albanian word that sounds a bit like peach...

portaloo · 13/06/2011 21:12

Lyingwitchinthewardrobe I got more and more angry, and was trying to explain how totally wrong her attitude was in many different ways. I was trying to make her see how heartless and insane her attitude was, how the people she was talking about are real people, who contribute to our society in a way some people never do hint hint.
I was trying to get her to see that she is in no way superior to other people simply because of where she was born.
What is there to be dubious about? Hmm

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ShellyBoobs · 13/06/2011 21:12

Tell her to fuck off.

I'm sure you don't need friends like her.

Come to think of it, this country doesn't need people like her so why doesn't she fuck off to wherever the asylum seekers have escaped from and do us all a favour.

Mumcentreplus · 13/06/2011 21:13

She sounds stupid and scared...and I'm being kind

thegruffalosma · 13/06/2011 21:15

So she's in favour of kicking British people out of Britain away from their friends and family for having the audacity to marry a foreigner? I think the BNP would probably consider her a bit hardcore!
In all seriousness though, as she's clearly not willing to be educated, and the gulf in your views is so wide, it might be time to distance yourself a little.

ShellyBoobs · 13/06/2011 21:16

"I was trying to get her to see that she is in no way superior to other people simply because of where she was born."

That's the thing with her 'argument' isn't it. Bigotted arseholes, like your friend, can't see that's it a case of 'there but for the grace of god...', can they?

LolaRennt · 13/06/2011 21:19

Tell her you agree, but the downside is you have to take all the british living in little -great-english-breakfast-and-you-have-to-even-learn-spanish! communities on the costa del sol back!

LittleMissFlustered · 13/06/2011 21:21

RevoltingPeasant I like the sound of your friend :o

ginmakesitallok · 13/06/2011 21:21

I don't think that you'll ever change the opinions of someone like this - what were you expecting her to say?? "Oh, now you've mentioned it and explained it all to me I think immigration is a good thing..." ?????

portaloo · 13/06/2011 21:21

whydobirds I wholeheartedly agree. How anyone can compare a life lived under an oppressive regime to a homeless person or an alcoholic in this country is beyond my comprehension.

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Mishy1234 · 13/06/2011 21:22

Avoid spending time with her. If you do have to be in her company, walk away as soon as she starts spouting her crap. Just don't give her the opportunity to get under your skin.

Whatever you say you won't change her opinions.

DorisDoesntDance · 13/06/2011 21:26

the bnp rep round our way owns an spanish expat homebuilding/renting company... go figure!

your mate would love me... i'm probably bottom of the scum barrel, being a Rom! where am i supposed to go? Grin

portaloo · 13/06/2011 21:27

ginmakesitallok I don't know what I was expecting now when I look back on the events of the day, I was just hoping she would open her tiny mind a crack and think about it, and surely to god if she gave it an ounce of serious thought, she wouldn't be able to ignore how vile and evil what she is proposing is. That's why I said I think I have wasted my time and energy, but what is the answer. I can't stand that there are people who think this way. Should we try to educate them? Is it because they don't know all the facts? Would they see things differently if they knew more? I don't know.

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