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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

warning *a bf thread*.... AIBU to think people go way over the top?

103 replies

timewastingaway · 13/06/2011 18:44

I've just read on another forum and i quote "if you have no intention of Bf'ing then you just shouldn't get pregnant"

AIBU to think this is a little extreme? or not?

sorry in advance to the BF/FF bunfight haters,i won't do it again..Grin

OP posts:
JoniRules · 13/06/2011 21:27

YANBU - people get way too worked up over this

sungirltan · 13/06/2011 21:27

not weedkiller but gm soya was enough to put me off

Loonytoonie · 13/06/2011 21:35

*The three women I know who BF, who made me inclined to BF myself - were the women who were incredibly laid back about it, and didn't see BF as anything special at all. They tried it, could do it, so did it. No fanfare...no climbing to the summit of Mount Breast and waving their fulsome mammary glands in smug jubilation.

They just did it.

However, there were the ones who created a Cult of Breast Feeding, and went on and on and on...till I began to suspect BF was the only thing they'd ever actually achieved in their lives, and my God were they going to hector you about it.

Interestingly they were also the ones who were supposedly constantly harrassed by other individuals for BF in public...and would give a word by word recount Of how they put the ignorant invidual in their place for daring to question their God given right to feed their child wheresoever they felt like.

Loons...the lot of 'em *

Sorry - had to quote the lot, because I think it's a fantastic post! Grin and, while I'm at it, completely spot on IMHO. I bf, still am and DD3 still is, and however much I believe in it, I essentially believe more in the woman's right to choose. I also happen to believe that Mums should have more support, but they don't get it sadly. That said, even though I quietly got on with the old feeding, I still managed to get labelled as pretty fanatical. shrugs. sometimes you can't dodge the judgement whichever side of the fence you're on.

And, just for info for a previous poster, ff was created to try and keep the babies who's mother's died in childbirth, alive. That was the beginning of formula.

YANBU OP. But this topic goes round in endless circles.

sungirltan · 13/06/2011 22:10

god ff is so post feminist. shame.

NormanTebbit · 13/06/2011 22:18

I think glitter is so last Tuesday

Loonytoonie · 13/06/2011 22:25

I've just eaten DD's jar of nutella.
Spoon. By. Spoon.

Loonytoonie · 13/06/2011 22:26

400g jar too, it was......Grin

spookshowangel · 13/06/2011 22:36

surely whats best for your baby is a happy mummy breast feeding made me miserable as sin so i didnt do it.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 13/06/2011 22:40

I dont understand it. Why are other people bothered what i feed my kids.

sungirltan · 13/06/2011 23:50

because its a public health issue

Fifis25StottieCakes · 13/06/2011 23:53

what ff, i thought you meant eating 400g of nutella Grin

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 14/06/2011 00:04

Not this old nonsense again.

And so soon after the last lot.

DumSpiroSpero · 14/06/2011 00:07

sungirl - in what way is it a public health issue?

I assume you mean because of the belief that breastfed babies go on to be healthier than formula fed ones?

My DD was formula fed after 2 weeks - I tried bf, I enjoyed it. What I didn't enjoy was the fact that DD hated it and took 20 minutes of screaming to latch one and then only with the help of DH and nipple shields. There was no way on earth I could have continued that once DH went back to work doing 13 hour shifts, particularly with a jaundiced baby for whom decent feeds were very important.

I have a friends who breastfed for months, I also work in an environment wher I see plenty of breastfeeding and extended breastfeeding fans.

Guess whose kids I see with snotty noses more often?

Tryharder · 14/06/2011 00:16

Oh come on, DumSpiroSpero, I hate it when people use anecdotes and personal observations to dispute facts.

I could add my own observations: DS1 about 2/3 ff 1/3 bf - suffered horrendously from ear infections and colds/coughs as an infant/toddler, DS2 - about 3/4 bf 1/4 ff, some colds and coughs but no ear infections. DD - 100% bf - no colds/coughs/ear infections ever...

I'm not anti formula - both my sons drank plenty of the stuff but I would be kidding myself if I said that it was as good for them as breastmilk...

DumSpiroSpero · 14/06/2011 00:29

Try - I'm not meaning to imply that formula is better than breastfeeding from that point of view - just that in my personal experience it doesn't appear to have made any difference.

Obviously breastfeeding is the ideal, but when so much pro-bf information is rammed down our throats as if it cannot possibly be challenged, I really don't think it helps anyone (except perhaps certain breastfeeding evangelists to feel superior).

I'd have happily carried on bf if doing so hadn't resulted in an extremely distressed dd at every feed. I didn't particulalry enjoy the fact that every time I bottle fed her in a mother & baby room, the breastfeeding mums would huddle in a corner chatting amongst themselves and studiously ignoring me as if I had bubonic plague, and if I'm honest I have got a bit of a chip on my shoulder about it as I had had a horrible pregnancy and birth and the one 'natural' thing I though I would be able to do for her I couldn't.

Anyway, I'm going off at a tangent (sorry OP!) so am going to be off now & leave you all to it!

NationalTruss · 14/06/2011 00:33

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

sungirltan · 14/06/2011 00:34

dum - so you think the government/nhs promote and support bf just for fun? you can spout all the anecdotal evidence you want but its a public health issue along with obesity/alcohol abuse and smoking.

the snotty nose thing we've read a hundred time on mn but ff babies have more health problems. statistical fact.

DumSpiroSpero · 14/06/2011 00:39

OK, so ff babies have more health problems and are a public health issue.

How do you suggest those of us that can't breastfeed deal with that - farm our newborns out to wet nurses like they did in the middle ages perhaps?

ohmyfucksy · 14/06/2011 00:51

But hardly anyone does 100% what the government/NHS tell us is necessary for us to be 'healthy'. Eating 5 fruit and veg a day (actually, the optimum number is nearer 9), doing 5 periods of cardio activity per week, never drinking more than 4 units of alcohol in one day, never smoking, never eating junk food...

Does anyone really make sure their children don't watch any TV until the age of 3, never give them refined sugars or any not-entirely-healthy food, do x periods of 'focused play' a week, never argue in front of them, always stick to boundaries etc. etc. ?

Agree with LeQueen, the most vociferous and critical breastfeeders tend to be those whose only life achievement is managing to breastfeed their kid...

sungirltan · 14/06/2011 01:14

Dum- the op didnt say 'cant' they said 'intend' plus 2%of mums isnt that many. But topicaaly, donor milk banks are on the rise :)

MollyMurphy · 14/06/2011 01:54

YANBU - some people do go overboard as every thread on the subject ever to grace MN has proven....and some obnoxious self-righteous person will no doubt reiterate this fact here as well.

Yawn.

timewastingaway · 14/06/2011 07:45

and to throw in for good measure....it was said on the "other site" that a good way of comparing formula and breastmilk was

breastmilk= freshly squeezed orange

formula= Orange tango

really? Hmm

OP posts:
spookshowangel · 14/06/2011 08:00

formula=orange tango Grin

Abcinthia · 14/06/2011 08:06

I love orange tango.

BimboNo5 · 14/06/2011 08:09

Sungirltan (and others of your ilk) get the frig over yourself. Its not 'public health' you are concerned about its feeling so smuggy superior you managed to breastfeed you want to bang the drum to all and sundry. Its your way of saying 'IM GREAT-I DID MY BEST!!!'