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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

By referring to a MNers previous thread in her new one?

8 replies

MooMooFarm · 13/06/2011 14:10

Have I broken a MN rule? Sad

I saw a new thread today along the lines of DP doing something horrible, what should I do? I recognised the name & remembered another long thread of theirs recently where they had listed loads of other horrible things the DP had done & had said they had now split up over it all. So it made me wonder why they had got back together and why the poster was putting up with DPs crap again - and I asked as much.

But I'm now wondering if I shouldn't have.....

OP posts:
Trills · 13/06/2011 14:13

In some cases past history is relevant to the topic.

If you had brought up "you said your DH was a twunt" on a thread about finding a nice dress to go out to dinner with him, then that would be a bit Hmm.

If it is as you describe then past threads about a relationships are relevant to a current discussion about the same relationship.

IMO.

EricNorthmansMistress · 13/06/2011 14:24

Be careful when you do this. People like to have a moan/work out stuff on here and when things are going better it's a bit off to remind them about worse times. Remember what people post on here is only a snapshot - and because someone's angry and upset one day doesn't mean it's always like that.

I posted a couple of threads about DH, few and far between (maybe 3 in 5 months?) and a poster had remembered me and made a comment along the lines of 'you are always bitching about him, why are you with him if he makes you so unhappy' and I was furious. I had to namechange and in fact always namechange now if I'm having an issue or a moan outside of my regular threads as I really didn't like that feeling at all.

TotallyLovely · 13/06/2011 14:26

I think saying "were you the one who had that problem . . . ?" is ok.

LolaRennt · 13/06/2011 14:27

If it is relevant and you arent being bitchy than I think its OK. If you arent sure I say use the PM feature

Original poster
MooMooFarm · 13/06/2011 14:36

Eric I do agree with you, but in this case it was a new relationship (of a few months). The poster had DC from a previous relationship, and the new partner had moved in and was doing something she couldn't accept. People were giving mixed answers depending on their view on that particular thing he was doing. But I remembered that she'd posted recently saying he'd been doing all sorts of horrible things since he'd moved in and in their most recent argument he'd left her.

So from the most recent thread it was clear he'd moved back in. Therefore I thought it very relevant that he had basically been acting like a 'cocklodger' from the moment they'd got together, and there was much more to it than just his latest 'issue'....

But now I'm wondering if it's any of my business anyway - although it was posted on here in the first place so it's hardly 'private' Confused

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 13/06/2011 14:41

I think it's fine to do. It's never fine to post crappy 'leave him ffs' type posts, because it just sounds as if you're primarily just impatient with the poster taking your time, rather than interested in helping them work out their problem.

Someone did it with me a while back and it made me see patterns, which is a good thing!

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 14:46

I can't see you have broken any rules moomoo sometimes a thread about a thread is good.
If they got back together then that is their business only the OP knows the reason for that,you can't help everyone on here sadly

Original poster
MooMooFarm · 13/06/2011 19:03

I know pumpernickel but doesn't it make you want to sometimes?

OP posts:
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