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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with my BIL and think this is a liberty?

24 replies

Rollergirl1 · 13/06/2011 11:09

I upgraded my phone to an iphone 4 on Friday. We have had BIL staying for the last few days as he was using our laptop to prep for an interview he has this week (long story with regards to BIL which I won't go in to). He has gone now though.

Anyway, there is an ipod in the household so we already have one adaptor. Obviously an additional plug and adaptor came with the new iphone. I have just been looking for the new adaptor so I can put some music on the iphone. The existing adaptor is currently charging up the ipod. I can't find it anywhere so I just texted BIL to ask where he remembers last seeing it (he was using to charge his one too) and he has taken it with him. He said he didn't think it would be an issue as he knew we already had another one. I am really pissed off with this. He didn't ask me if it was okay and didn't even let me know that he had taken it with him. I know his reasoning will be we already have another one so what is the problem, but as far as I am concerned that is not the point. I think it is a fucking cheek to just take something that doesn't belong to you without asking.

So what do people think? He probably doesn't have one at home as he has lost his and is probably having to use his flat-mates one. Obviously we do now have a spare but (but only for a few days before he appropriated it!) why can't he just buy his fucking own? Or should I just let him have it graciously?

OP posts:

revolutionscoop · 13/06/2011 11:12

Complete cheek! I'd ask him to return it in the post.

MassagesDeclinedByNetmums · 13/06/2011 11:12

YANBU, tell him to give it back asap!! Twat!!

You have two i-devices and want to charge them both, and so you should be able to!!

My BIL stayed with us this weekend. You have my sympathies...

JanMorrow · 13/06/2011 11:12

I'd ask for it back myself! Let him buy his own.

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 13/06/2011 11:12

Cheeky shite. YANBU

TheSkiingGardener · 13/06/2011 11:16

Cheeky and very rude. Get it back from him. He had no right to take it, it is not up to him to decide what you need and what you are happy for other people to take.

TimeForLunch · 13/06/2011 11:16

Utter cheek! He is taking your hospitality too far, staying with you and then deciding to take something of yours with him when he goes! Definitely ask for it back.

Pixieonthemoor · 13/06/2011 11:16

Cheeky git! I would firmly say that you expect him to post it back to you immediately as you need it. Its really naughty - I bet that if he had asked you nicely you would probably have let him have it!! But to just take it without asking is bad. Its not as if they cost hundreds of pounds - let him buy his own!!

loiner45 · 13/06/2011 11:16

point out that to replace it costs £26 for the plug and £15 for the cable and that you need it back. YANBU at all

Eglu · 13/06/2011 11:17

Very rude. How could he possibly think it's okay.

RunforFun · 13/06/2011 11:20

Tell him the two are slightly different and that you need it back asap to charge your phone.

Cheeky bugger.

Kewcumber · 13/06/2011 11:20

bloody hell

I'd also ask him to send it back.

TeddyMcardle · 13/06/2011 11:20

Isn't that stealing, when you take people possessions without their permission and don't tell them? I would say that is beyond cheeky, I'd be seriously pissed off. Of course he has to give it back.

WinkyWinkola · 13/06/2011 11:22

"He said he didn't think it would be an issue as he knew we already had another one."

Whether you had 1, 2 or 50 more, it's for you decide if it's an issue or not.

Ask for it back. He's nicked it. So much for gratitude for your hospitality. I'd not let him stay again.

itisnearlysummer · 13/06/2011 11:22

Um that's stealing.

Blu · 13/06/2011 11:23

Outrageous.
Just tell him you need it, and will he please return it immediately.
Along with anything else he helped himself to having decided on your behalf that you don't need!

Original poster

Rollergirl1 · 13/06/2011 11:25

He is well known for being really bad with phones, computers, etc. Every time he stays at ours he cadges an old phone that neither DH and I are using as he has lost his one way or another. So that's why he probably thought it was okay to half-inch the adaptor. His parents gave him their laptop as he didn't have one at home and he broke it cos he was walking around with it and dropped it. DH was going to lend him our laptop so he could prep for this interview but I said I didn't want him removing from the house, hence him being here.

He is a bit of a fuck-up to be honest and an absolute pain in the neck. I love him to bits and everyone in the family gives him a lot of lee-way. But he really does need to grow up and stop expecting an easy life for nothing.

I will ask him to post it back.

OP posts:

MassagesDeclinedByNetmums · 13/06/2011 11:25

Yep, I'd def ask him if he helped himself to any more of my possessions too!!

HellAtWork · 13/06/2011 11:25

Nope he is definitely being unreasonable. And a cheeky tea-leaf. Is he far away so that you can pop round to collect it? (not that you should have to but if you want it back he sounds like the lazy type that will think it's your responsibility to collect). You don't have to explain why you want it back (except that you do, and sharpish) but I would just say the other charger doesn't appear to be working and you can't be without a phone in case the DCs/DH need to be in contact so you need it returned ASAP. He will have to post it registered delivery otherwise - or give you the money to buy another one. He can order one off Amazon today and it would be with you quickly. Send him a nice link and ask him when it will be arriving.

fgaaagh · 13/06/2011 11:30

Er, cheecky?

No, he stole it. Just because he doesn't put much of a value on it (in terms of replacement cost, how much of an extra hassle you get for no fault of your own) doesn't mean that it's short of theft.

Get the cheeky fuck to post it back ASAP or to send you money for a replacement.

And let him know how out of order he was / is.

IHateMarlo · 13/06/2011 11:32

YANBU!!!!VVVVVNBU
Cheeky stealing git!

TotallyLovely · 13/06/2011 11:43

Make him return it, make up a story if you have to, like you have already sold it to a friend or on Ebay so that he HAS to return it.

Kewcumber · 13/06/2011 11:47

Don;t make up a story or explain why you want it back. I;s yours you don;t have to convince him that you need it with a good enough reason. Just say in a slightly shocked tone "please send my charger back!"

Inertia · 13/06/2011 12:17

Beyond the realms of taking a liberty- it's theft. And an abuse of your hospitality- I expect you were feeding him as well as acting as his private library and technology loan service.

Don't graciously let him have it. Sounds as though people have been too gracious with him already and now he just takes the piss. And I wouldn't be rushing to lend him stuff again in a hurry.

L8rAllig8r · 13/06/2011 12:22

You can buy chargers for around £2-3 on eBay, and poundland sell the USB leads for, well, a pound.

So it's not the end of the world. But he is extremely cheeky for just taking it, so YANBU at all. I'd be cross too.

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