to think that parents who have very obese children are guilty of neglect

[MeconiumHappens]

It's accepted that if a child is undernourished, dirty, ignored/emotionally neglected etc that a family can be subject to children's services intervention, but what about those who bring their children up to be VERY obese? Surely over feeding/poor nutrition in the EXTREME is a child welfare issue. I'm not suggesting every child noshing on a happy meal be immediately sent to foster care (before someone inevitably makes a similar comment) and am thinking of the most extreme cases but would be interested in other peooples thoughts on this. It seems to be something we side shuffle around to not upset the child/insult parenting but if its a health issue surely it needs to be managed appropriately for the childs health.

I wouldn't let my kids get obese, parents should have control over most of a child's calorie intake, especially up to secondary school age. It is a form of neglect, being a parent isn't just saying "yes" all the time and giving them large portions and not taking them out on weekend activities for an easy life.

Of the families I know where the DC are morbidly obese (and I only know 2), the DC are all obese because of what they eat and how little exercise they do.
Yet both families have completely different reasons for feeding their DC what they feed them, as well as different reasons for why their DC don't do more exercise.
Family 1 has 1 DD who is now 22 years old. She has been obese since she was preschool, and is now classed as morbidly obese. She cannot climb a flight of stairs without gasping for breath and travels everywhere by car, since the walk to the bus stop is just too far for her to walk in any sort of comfort. Her mum has told me that she has a fear of her DD being hungry, since mum spent much of her childhood feeling hungry, and is determined to do whatever it takes to ensure her DD never ever feels hunger. This includes feeding her DD at any time of the day or night (DD can only bake cakes.) and getting out of bed to cook for her DD if DD claims she is hungry. I have known the mum to get out of bed at 2am to cook chips for DD. Mum cooks whatever DD wants to eat, again because she would rather her DD ate something than felt hungry. Mum supplies huge portions of food imo, and admits that her DD eats more than her partner, who works in a very physically demanding job. Her DD has had larger portions than her partner since she was 7 years old.
OTOH, her DD has told me that her mum spends all her time with her stepdad, and she feels excluded, so the only way to get her mum to stop what she is doing and focus her attention on DD is to say she is hungry. Her DD is rather resentful of her mum and told me she hates her mum.
Mum has been passing DD's weight problem off as puppy fat since DD was a toddler.

Family 2 openly admit they cannot be bothered to cook and eat takeaways every night, and if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for their DC.
Their DC don't want to play outside because the other children bully them, and the mum and dad don't see a problem with the life their DC live because the DC seem happy enough. 'I mean, who wouldn't want a takeaway every night if they could afford it?'

I think if DC are morbidly obese because of their lifestyle, then the parents need educating and long term support, not criticism or threats.

Arg with the genetics argument. VAST MAJORITY of obese people are that way because of diet and lifestyle. A doctor on telly tested herself and a larger family for this genetic stuff, because they thought that is how they were genetically. They found out their chance of being obese was LOWER than average and herself way HIGHER. Yet they were obese and she was a normal size 12 (I would estimate, maybe even a 10) People say BMI means little? Why is it used then? It is a test of weight versus height. The safe level varies between 5 BMI points (presumably to allow for different bone density/ natural body shape.) and varies more for the overweight but if your BMI is an obese number then you are obese. Allowing your child to be obese is YOUR fault. I would not say neglect but over loving perhaps? Education is the way forward I believe. I do believe we are talking children. Once you have a teen I agree it may become very difficult and not necessarily your fault.

Not neglect - my parents weren't neglectful, they lacked the ability to address my weight effectively and were trying to cope with their own issues. I have a better attitude to food but DH is into 'treats' and 'clearing your plate'. Attitudes need to change for sure.