to think that parents who have very obese children are guilty of neglect

[MeconiumHappens]

It's accepted that if a child is undernourished, dirty, ignored/emotionally neglected etc that a family can be subject to children's services intervention, but what about those who bring their children up to be VERY obese? Surely over feeding/poor nutrition in the EXTREME is a child welfare issue. I'm not suggesting every child noshing on a happy meal be immediately sent to foster care (before someone inevitably makes a similar comment) and am thinking of the most extreme cases but would be interested in other peooples thoughts on this. It seems to be something we side shuffle around to not upset the child/insult parenting but if its a health issue surely it needs to be managed appropriately for the childs health.

Hmmmmm.A parent can love their child but neglect their needs by over feeding,improper feeding or lack of activity.Now omitting any medical cause for obesity,it is up to the parents.I mean,how uneducated do you have to be to not know about basic nutrition?Its taught from Junior Infants (4/5 yr olds) here.

BumWiper, some parents are as thick as big shit. They may have be taught about nutrician at school, but learnt nothing.

Also some parents struggle with money management. They smoke 50 fags a day and drink booze and then do not have enough money to buy decent food.

There are also pychological factors like binge eating and depresion in children.

Decent parents will seek help, but it can be a struggle to bring obsecity under control. It would not help them to be refered to a social worker. There is a small minority of children who do have a medical condition.

DS is very overweight - we are aware of it and try hard to moderate his eating and encourage exercise. however he is not a very sociable boy and doesn't have many friends so he is mostly with us or his much older sisters. He hates football and similar sports, but loves to read, draw,make models and play his DS. He also loves to bake ( and eat) cakes. Short of physically dragging him by the arm to make him run, it is difficult to enforce exercise one someone who doesn't like it. Family walks become miserable, he can't ride a bike and is afraid to learn. he won't join any clubs - Cubs lasted two weeks!!
He is also the tallest boy in his class, and takes a size 5 shoe at the age of 9.
Is he neglected?

Its a myth that healthy food is expensive though.I can feed a family of 5 and a baby on ?100 a week,which includes nappies,and non food stuff.

Seriously how can someone honestly not know that fast food,fried food,sugary food is unhealthy?Do they not watch telly,read a magazine?

Have you told your DS how important excercise is for his health dementedma?

Demented....I know its hard...my DD is aso anti-clubs...she also likes to be at home...we got her a trampoline and I am MAKING her start swimming this summer...sometimes we do have to be cruel to be kind.

"Its a myth that healthy food is expensive though.I can feed a family of 5 and a baby on ?100 a week,which includes nappies,and non food stuff."

BumWiper, I expect you are reasonably intelligent. I expect that you cook healthy meals.

Some people are breath takingly thick and lazy.

dementedma,
Take up running with your son. Make doing excercise a family activity. Make sure your son walks to school. Avoid using the car as much as possible.

My son is the same age and mildly overwieght. Sometimes you have to cruel to be kind.

Bum wiper. £100 a week is quite a generous budget for food. I spent £115 today bought a lot of meat. Veg. Cleaning bits etc But we are on a good household income. I wager many have to manage on a lot less than that
£4.5o for 3 chicken breasts compared with £1.20 for pack of cheap sausages
If I were on a tight budget week in week out I expect id choose the sausages too?!

RobF Sun 12-Jun-11 20:54:06
"Food is too cheap",

Food is cheep? I spent £130 for the five of us today....that should last a week (OK there was probably £20 of cleaning products/non food items) but food is not cheep.

But then I refuse to buy process meets(so by nice ham), and insist on buying a wide variety of fruit and veg.

If I spent less, it is likely that I would be buying less healthy foods. Sadly it seems that it's cheaper to buy ready made cakes full of rubbish, than to bake your own.

My point is, lower income families, and families where both parents work are more likely to consume poor quality food. (Of course it doesn't' have to be like this, but it often is!)

I think that whilst it's relatively easy to control a young child's eating and to force them to exercise it's much more difficult as they get older.

My Ds who will be 13 this year is overweight, however we rarely have 'unhealthy' foods in the house, he plays football 3-4 times a week, walks or cycles most places (we don't have a car so he doesn't have any choice). I can't stop him eating when he's here and I'm not - all I can do is make sure that the food that's available isn't junk.

His younger brother (who does less exercise) is underweight incidentally.

Much of it is down to poor food education with the parents. A lot of nurseries and family centres offer basic cookery and healthy eating courses and more people ought to opt in for it. They'll learn lessons atht will change the kid's health- and their own -for the better.

So, yes, YABU

re cheap food, one chicken breast (300 "healthy" calories) being swapped for two cheap sausages (300 "bad" calories) isnt really the problem. its peeling and frying the potatoes instead of washing and boiling them, having a mars bar instead of an apple, drinking coke instead of water.
yes the meal may not be as healthy as the more expensive organic equivalent, but its just silly to say that buying cheap sausages means they consume more calories?!

I agree. A child is only fat because of their food intake, parents should not overfeed children and make them fat. It is the sole responsibility of a parent to ensure their child is healthy so far as is possible.

Feeding them shit and giving them over sized meals because they themselves are fat fuckers is abuse.

My biggest fear was always having fat kids.

Fabby...that's a bit dumb..most people's biggest fear is having a child with a serious illness or a disability which cannot be fixed.

Fabby I hope you don't share that fear with your children. Thinking that way leads to major eating issues and disorders.

YANBU.

Letting your child be hugely obese (assuming there are no medical reasons/SN etc), is cruel. I'm not talking about just overweight either but actually morbidly obese.

I have always been overweight too, so since having dc I have been very conscious about making sure they have a healthy balanced diet and aren't too overweight/underweight, at the same time as trying to make sure they don't stress about food too and have a healthy relationship with it.

"My biggest fear was always having fat kids."

Clearly you have lost all sense for proportion. If your biggest fear is your kids being fat then you risk producing an anorexic child.

but Mumbling, Fabby was just pointing out that she didn't want her kids to become obese.
Obesity causes serious illnesses which lead to premature death, as well as impacting on quality of life.

YANBU

I agree parents who feed their kids full of crap food need some sort of food education but not being funny those who need that need that for themselves and not just their kids so why would that be a childrens services issue?

Its not cut and dried with obese kids being down to food at all, in some cases yes but in others the "cure" can be just as bad IMO

I was obese as a kid, Doctors told my mum to put me on a diet by the time I was 9, so Mum tried to control what I ate. That didnt i I was refered to a dietician who refused to belive I was following what she said I should eat (I was) so I've ended up with a really fucked up attitude to food... at times my mum was so strict with me that if there was nothing she deamed I could eat in the house I wasnt allowed to eat (packed lunches were fun :( ) and so now my default function is feeling guity and bad over eating anything remotely "bad", often times DH has had to tell me im being stupid if im having a bad day and consider not having coffee at IL's cos they use full fat milk. Surely a kid being left with that kinda attitude to food is as bad?

Ironically... it turns out my weight isnt entirely diet based at all, its a medical thing, so all those doctors and dieticians didnt pick up on it until I was in my 20's, and they finally conceeded I wasnt a lying teen sneeking chocolate.

Most obese children seem to have obese parents too. I don't think it's abuse at all, kids eat with their parents and learn from them. If you have issues with food - whether too much or too controlled, it is possible not to pass it on but very very difficult I would have thought.

Also if you were slightly overweight before having children then becoming a parent can sometimes push you over the edge into obesity. I am three stone heavier than before I had children - but I was size 8 and probably a bit underweight for my build then so now I'm overweight rather than obese. I eat a balanced diet but I know I eat too much! I am still fitter than most people though - I cycled 20 miles yesterday for example! My blood pressure is "textbook perfect" according to the nurse. I'm at most a size 14 and fairly tall so I don't consider myself huge. I got used to eating more when pregnant, my job is pretty sedentary and it can be hard to fit in exercise, I find everything pretty full on at times...but also I do consider food to be a pleasure, it sometimes feels like my only pleasure... so I think "What the heck" it could be cigarettes or hard drugs!

So I do understand comfort eating, basically I have every sympathy with those with weight problems, it is very hard to deal with especially if you are unhappy/stressed and that's the underlying cause...

I try very hard not to give my daughters any issues with food, generally trying to be relaxed about eating and mealtimes, I let them have sweet things in moderation, they don't have fizzy drinks at all (they don't like them) and mostly have water and milk and have tried to introduce them to a wide range of fruit, vegetables and different flavours - a lot more different tastes to cope with than I had as a child anyway! Also I hope as they see me exercising this will give them an interest in staying fit themselves when they are older. Not an issue at the moment being 5 and 2, they are rarely still for five minutes at a time given the option. I never talk negatively about my body in front of them or talk about dieting.

I don't think this thread is about 'abuse' insomnia more neglect.

In my experience very obese children are generally that way because of what they are being fed at home. There is a small, and I mean small, minority of kids who are very obese due to genetic/medication issues...but the vast majority I have seen have parents who are (a)obese and (b) are in denial about what they feed their kids.

Is it neglect? I don't think so, again in my experience parents are handing down their own practices regarding nutrition because they think they are doing the best for their child.

That's not neglect, it's being misguided.

If a child is suffering from continual severe ill health because of their weight (and not everyone who is obese will be affected by being obese in the short term, then they can come under section 17 of the Children Act 1989, which can prompt SS involvement, so it can be classed as neglect. But i think alot of posters are unaware that in some people obesity in itself isn't a major health risk, it just ups the possibility of some illnesses. It has got to be very carefully handled, as some people would have to starve themselves to be as small as other people, so it would be going from one extreme to another.

I agree that everyone should instil good eating habits in their children, because bad eating habits are so hard to break and life becomes a continual struggle with your relationship with food, which is a cruel thing to do to a child.