to think this about modern Feminism?

[Catmilk]

I AM a Feminist, but by God over the last few decades has it radicalised a lot of people to believe the very worst of men and to see women as victims at every turn. These are the people that are ruining Feminism IMO, and making many young women want to have nothing to do with it, which is a terrible shame.

Do you agree or not? ONE post each please. (otherwise I think it will veer off-topic or derailed) I will make no further posts, just conducting a survey as it were.

[Catmilk]

Summed up why i'm leaving (see other thread) is Hellatworkd post. Once she was a happy kinda feminist non-manhater. Then after having a child apparently, she became more 'extreme' in her feminsims, moved memorably by this quote

'"I don't believe rape is inevitable or natural. If I did, I would have no reason to be here. If I did, my political practice would be different than it is. Have you ever wondered why we [women] are not just in armed combat against you? It's not because theres a shortage of kitchen knives in this country. It is because we believe in your humanity, against all the evidence."

She has become a man-hater. Why? I can only speculate. But suddenly all men were into lap-dancing and Loaded (not true) that porn is intolerable... the usual.

And of course she gets a standing ovation here for her 'conversion'

This place reeks of man-hating. I've been on forums of just women, and mixed. Some are like this place, full of enough man-haters to poison the well and drive away any moderates that might have once been around... and now another is off. Bye!

[sunshineandbooks]

I actually agree with the OP that many young women are put off feminism because of the idea that they all hate men and see women as victims, but as far as I can see this idea is very much pedalled by ANTI-feminists.

I wonder if the fact that we feminists are actually succeeding in fighting this misconception has anything to do with the amount of ant-feminist threads popping up all over MN at the moment. Is the patriarchy feeling threatened?

[HellAtWork]

Catmilk I'm not sure how you have so drastically misinterpreted my post (other than through wilfulness or being deliverately obtuse) but I will remake my point hopefully mre clearly

Before having a son and subsequently examining my feelings on feminism, I accepted that men were a bit inferior to women, emotionally stunted, prone to being sexually abusive, rare to find a 'decent' one and just not as socially developed as women. It's the kind of line books like Women are Venus Men are from Mars puts out. Men were people, but they were basically neanderthals in suits. I have suffered mild sexual assaults (groping on public transport) but have never suffered any violence or sexual assault/abuse at the hands of men otherwise. I had formed this view from what I perceived around me - all this despite having a father who is as well-rounded and family focused and supportive as you can get and several loving and supportive long term relationships with lovely men (who I am still friends with) - but there's a lot out there which basically tells women not to expect much of men ranging from horrifying statistics about DV/sexual assaults to the more insidious stuff like adverts laughing at men's inability to function for themselves emotionally or practically (see the recent Wall's ad for sausages with the mini-pug making an emotional speech to 'Mummy Bear'). So my expectations of men were low.

Having a son has forced me to re-examine this and Feminism has shown me that I can and do and should have higher expectations for my son. I don't want him to grow up in a world where he feels forced to attend lapdancing clubs to be one of the boys (if he chooses to do personally that is a separate matter - the point being he shouldn't have to do anything he doesn't want to to be accepted as male) or has his choices curtailed (no ballet you sissy, football or rugby only) by other people's narrowly gendered expectations.

So in short: when not identifying as a Feminist (20s) I was not so extreme as to be man-hating - I was probably man-disparaging. In 30s as a Feminist I have come to expect more of men and in doing so become less man-disparaging and more optimistic and believing that equality will bring both men and women freedoms, benefits and opportunities they wouldn't have without Feminism working to change people's views and society.

[MrsKardashian]

Oh lol bloody lol Catmilk, are you really such a loon as you appear to be? Just how many words did you put into Hell's post that weren't written by her at all??

I have a father a husband and a son. I hate none of them. Goodbye. Peddle your nonsense elsewhere.

[flippinada]

Catmilk sure is persistent.

I think she/he has been threatening to stop posting for several days now (shame) but is seemingly unableto stop him/herself from making just one more post...

[Catmilk]

This milk may be sour but it hasn't gone off yet.

[AitchGee]

Not sure what the OP means. What's this "feminism" thing?

[cinnamontoast]

Catmilk, are you a man?