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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry that the feminism of the 1970's is erradicating feminitity...

178 replies

MrsTwinks · 10/06/2011 15:32

Im fully prepaired to be flamed... but the other thread reminded me of a conversation I had with my stepsister and cousin a while ago.

Both were career women of a sort before they had their kids and became SAHP, and were talking about how guilty it made them feel, yet SS said she loved being a mum and it was all she ever wanted. It seems to me that the attitude of our mothers (all mad feminists in my fam i'm afraid) got so engrossed in trying to have a fantastic career and being the perfect mum they lost sight of the truth that you cant have both.

I remember my mum feeling that she had to go out and have that wonderful career she was told she was entitled to (not that she wasnt dont get me wrong) contantly trying to find something that made her has fulfilled as being a homemaker because she was made to feel she was "letting the side down" by not going for a career and being a mum. Ironically shes doing the same to me now, as is being done to alot of my generation (in my fam and friends at least), we are being made to feel guilt because we DONT WANT to be career women. Homemaker has become an ugly word and makes you lazy/stupid/scrounger or whatever.

Add to that the likes of Newsnight last night where we are told putting girls in sparkly and pink clothing (nevermind cut or item or whatever) and telling them to kiss daddy goodnight is tantamount to sexualising children?!!!?? what next.. Im all against revealing clothes and all that, but seriously.. how is a little girl wearing pink sparkly clothes and kissing daddy goodnight bad?? and yet our mothers generation of feminists is telling us that its wrong. It appears to me they are telling us that being FEMININE is bad. What is wrong with the way we are made??

ok rant over, but it REALLY gets my goat that (to me) all these women are telling me its bad to want to be a STHP who has a home made dinner ready when people get home and a clean house, and whos life is more about her kids than her high powered career because I have a brain. All I wanted to be when I grew up was a mum and now Im supposed to have a new dream because someone tells me mine isnt enough and I am pandering to masocism or some such.

Please tell me i'm not the only one? or was i really born decades too late

OP posts:
LineRunner · 10/06/2011 23:55

MrsTwinks is a tedious piss take.

Original poster
MrsTwinks · 10/06/2011 23:55

Yes I have, but I'm not church of England or my church covered by that whole debacle.

OP posts:
AyeRobot · 10/06/2011 23:56

Cocoflower, if you want to start a thread about feminism and religion, I am sure it would be very interesting.

Religions are patriarchal. I am unsure why this is controversial. Perhaps we could explore this on your thread if there is any doubt.

gordongrumblebum · 10/06/2011 23:56

Absolutely, sunshine, as is evident from the progress made in the 70s: women's crisis centres, rape centres, abortion rights, equal pay for equal work, etc etc. These steps ensured that women are safer in society, are recognised as equals to men and will be able to support themselves.

LineRunner · 10/06/2011 23:59

I just knew that MrsTwinks having specifically used the term 'vicar' would then pretend to be not of a church that has a vicar.

Boring and futile.

Original poster
MrsTwinks · 10/06/2011 23:59

I'm not pissed at that. I know it happens first hand thanks,

Ok I concert it's not all or reasonable feminists that are reacting like I am encountering, but that is how they are representing themselves, so surely that does as much disservice to equality as what I and my friends are experiencing?

OP posts:
LineRunner · 11/06/2011 00:00

Absolute incoherent bollocks now from the OP.

Original poster
MrsTwinks · 11/06/2011 00:01

Linerunner I'm a Methodist. We call ministers, but I've always used the incorrect term of vicar because that's what I think of her as ala Dawn French. I apologise if my misuse of the term

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsTwinks · 11/06/2011 00:02

I concede*

Stupid phone is autocorrecting wrong I'm sorry

OP posts:
AyeRobot · 11/06/2011 00:04

So challenge them on their feminist credentials. Read enough so that you know more than them about feminist beliefs.

Or ignore them.

Cocoflower · 11/06/2011 00:06

If there is any doubt? Through real life experience of actually setting a foot inside the church,or make that many churches ,and actually reading the bible myself Im pretty clear on my own opinions. Its just stereotype based on a few high-profile extreme instances not reality.

sunshineandbooks · 11/06/2011 00:10

MrsTwinks maybe you know some dodgy people. Happens to us all. In your situation I'd do a bit more research and throw some arguments back at these people. They seem to have no hesitation in telling you their opinions so why not tell them yours.

However, in the majority of cases, the idea that feminists are men-hating harpies that denigrate the lifestyles of SAHMs is a myth that is perpetuated by those who have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo.

AyeRobot · 11/06/2011 00:12

Start a thread, Cocoflower.

Cocoflower · 11/06/2011 00:16

Im pretty confident in my views on the subject.

LineRunner · 11/06/2011 00:18

Cocoflower I'll be on your thread. I have also set foot in many churches and actually read the bible. I'll be one of your resident experts if you like based on your own keenly-scoped parameters.

Cocoflower · 11/06/2011 00:21

Atcually Ayerobot under a former user name I always posted on relgious threads. They were the most vile, dicriminatary pieces of filth on MN and I have seen it all before.

I can tell you exactly what will happen the forumla is so predictable and I can tell you exactly who will post on it.

Its a little childish to call someone a chicken because they dont want to be in your fightclub that serves to rile and hurt people.

LineRunner · 11/06/2011 00:23

I really have read the bible. King James and Revised.

LineRunner · 11/06/2011 00:24

Lapsed methodist. How I spotted the 'vicar' thing.

Cocoflower · 11/06/2011 00:24

How odd you fight agaisnt the discrimation of one group, yet willingly dicriminate agaisnt another. How very, very hypocritical.

AyeRobot · 11/06/2011 00:25

No, I don't want to hurt. I do, however, want to counteract the idea that there is anything feminist in what comes out of religion.

My thread was started in the feminism section. As that is what we are talking about.

Cocoflower · 11/06/2011 00:30

if you have issues with the church then so be it. It may serve you well to remember the church is made up of 1.6 billion people all very different and very individual so unless you have done an indepth study on every one of those 1.6 billion people and feminisim your arguments can never be anything more than sweeping generalisations.

AyeRobot · 11/06/2011 00:34

There is another thread Smile

Why are you having a go at me for generalising but not at the OP? Big hmmms at you.

MrsTwinks, come and join us on the Feminism board. You will see that we are not like you describe and will furnish you with many comebacks to the ogres you describe.

sunshineandbooks · 11/06/2011 00:35

Coco I'm an atheist so probably not the best person to be talking to you about this, but if I were going to talk about feminism and the church I'd say I am actually quite encouraged by the drive for equality within some faiths - the ordination of females is a massive leap forward though I personally feel it's only a very first step.

However, this is exactly why AyeRobot has created another thread. This is an interesting topic, but it has huge scope and it is not appropriate on this thread. IMO.

LineRunner · 11/06/2011 00:36

"the church"?

There isn't such a thing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread