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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be utterly shocked and appalled that a mother slapped her child in the face

20 replies

LindaLaHughes · 09/06/2011 20:33

Yep in Gap in town today. A mother with 2 year old (or thereabouts) slapped the child in the face. I don't know what for but it was an almighty slap.

I still am absolutely stunned, I really can't get over it! I was shaking and felt sick to the pit of my stomach.

I, rightly or wrongly, confronted the mother, who proceed to apologise to me Hmm. I didn't need an apology her bloody child did. The shop assistant had tears in her eyes, but no one else said a word. I really cannot believe that people can do this!

Sorry for ranting, but need to vent ! Angry

OP posts:
DontGoCurly · 09/06/2011 20:37

If that's what she does in public I dread to think what happens when no-one's around....Good for you for confronting her. Hopefully it will shame her. She shuld be ashamed, poor little kid.

Littlepurpleprincess · 09/06/2011 20:38

That's awful. Sad

I am curious, what was her general attitude? Was it 'shrug it off, oh I'm sorry', or was it 'I'm at absolute breaking point, I'm not coping, I AM SORRY!'

Either way she needs some help.

EllieG · 09/06/2011 20:39

Fuck. That's awful. God knows what's happening to that child at home.

thisisyesterday · 09/06/2011 20:39

hmmm... what did she say when she apologised?

whilst i would never, ever condone someone slapping a child I would also say that you saw a snapshot
you don't know her life, you don't know what the kid had been doing, you don't know what else she has going on

ok, nothing makes it ok for her to slap the child, but the fact that she apologised rather than having a go at you as well does make me wonder whether it was a momentary breakdown, she did a stupid thing, she was sorry...

it doesn't have to mean that she abuses the child all the time does it?? and she may well have apologised to her child once she got out of the shop and calmed down

ilovepesto · 09/06/2011 20:40

That sounds really distressing. Do you think the mother was unwell in some way or do you think she saw it as acceptable? I can't imagine why a mother would do this in public. I ashamedly slapped my DS once, not out of anger but out of sheer desperation (he was hitting me etc). I'm deeply ashamed still to think of it and feel sure I would never do it again. I can only imagine she may be perhaps mentally unwell? I would have been really upset to witness that. I hope you're okay now. We can only hope that it was a one off and the mother will never do it again.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 09/06/2011 20:40

Yabu for not phoning the police

wasabipeanut · 09/06/2011 20:41

You did well to confront here. She clearly knew she had really done wrong. I don't know what to say really. What triggered it? I suspect you will get posters saying you shouldn't judge etc. and that you don't know the full story but I agree that slapping a 2 year old is unjustified no matter what the circumstances.

Pumpernickel10 · 09/06/2011 20:42

She should be apologising to her daughter not you

Bohica · 09/06/2011 20:45

I would have called the police. The child needs help & so does the mother. What did she say to you in a way of apology?

TheRainInSpain · 09/06/2011 20:51

Thats appalling Shock

Well done for pulling her up on this OP, I think you did the right thing. I agree with wasabipeanut here that there is never any justification for slapping a 2 year old in the face. It is disgusting behavior. The poor child Sad

Original poster
LindaLaHughes · 09/06/2011 20:51

Apparently, according to the shop assistant the child had been left to wonder around the store while the mother was browsing and the mother was in no way concerned where she was and the shop assistant had to keep returning her to her mother. I don't how true that is as I only saw her for the 6 /7 minutes I was in the shop. The mother didn't seem particularly stressed or perturbed. When I approached her I think she was a little taken aback, but definitely not stressed out. She did stroke the child's face.

I did say to her if she is capable of doing that in public then what on earth is going on at home.

She said the child had tried to run out onto the road, but the shop is in a pedestrianised (sp) area so.... She did have a pushchair with her, which I suggested the child would be safer in. I also got my phone out and told her I was calling the police, which alarmed her, I didn't, but it was a feeble attempt to get through to her. I felt as if I repeatedly said the same thing about how shocked I was.

The child had settled down by the time they left the store, depsite having a very red cheek.

I really don't want to sound judgey but it has left me reeling. I was with my 20 month old toddler and I just kept thinking what would make me react like that, I don't know.....

One way or another I really hope someone somewhere is providing them with some kind of support.

OP posts:
superv1xen · 09/06/2011 21:14

thats awful but i have done it. once. to DS. but he was about 3 1/2 at the time, not that that makes it any better :(

it was out of sheer anger i'm ashamed to say, we were in a cafe with friends, he was playing up something rotten, my youngest was a few months old and teething so she was screaming too which was not helping. i think he was picking up on how stressed i was and he was just being a real pain in the arse. it felt like everyone in the cafe was staring and tutting. i kept telling him to behave over and over again and he leaned over the table and laughed in my face and out of anger i smacked his cheek :( it was nearly 2 years ago but i remember it clearly and still feel bad now.

i guess what i am trying to say is she may have been at the absolute end of her tether having the day from hell, i am not saying that excuses it but as some one else said, it may have just been a snapshot of her parenting, and complete one off.

also if the toddler is the type to run around then he/she should really have been strapped in the buggy.

Bohica · 09/06/2011 21:25
Shock
thefirstmrsrochester · 09/06/2011 21:27

i really do hope that this was and end of tether one off - the skilled abusers keep below detection. I have felt the rage and the want to strike out after hours of insolence etc but my DC are older and go through phases of being as vile to me as they possibly can - cant condone hitting a child, let alone a toddler.
I smacked my ds hand aged 3 when he bit his ds for about the hundredth time and I felt so bad.
Sad

strandedbear · 09/06/2011 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strandedbear · 09/06/2011 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou · 09/06/2011 21:32

you could make a complaint to the police, they would get the cctv from the shop

thats what happened in a tesco in our town, the local paper published the cctv stills and she was shamed into coming forward

at least it put her on SS radar , if she wasnt already on it

wotnochocs · 09/06/2011 21:46

There is never any justification, but people are only human and have their limits.

redwineformethanks · 09/06/2011 21:51

Well done speaking up. Most people wouldn't have challenged her.

Bohica · 09/06/2011 21:52

thefirstmrsrochester are you related to the other TheFirstMrs?

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