To get a present for DCs on siblings' birthdays?

[IWantAnotherBaby]

This kind of follows from another thread on here about a child who was going to get the day off school for her brother's birthday and had 'a few' presents of her own to open. So I was wondering what people think of the general principle of buying gifts for a child on its siblings' birthdays? I have, so far, bought the non-birthday child a little thing (or 2...) - but when do you stop that? My DS will be 8 soon, and DD (3) has been told by him that she'll get presents as well (she's too little to remember herself that she got 2 small things last year). I was planning to have a little thing wrapped in advance but only bring it out if she really couldn't cope. Not sure how best to handle it really...

I buy things sometimes 'just because' but I think birthdays are special, and I don't see any harm in other children learning that somedays 'it's not about you'

'cope' with what? Her sibling's birthday? I imagine she will eat yummy things and cake, i'm sure she will 'cope'.

The fun is in the giving. If you want to include siblings, help them give or make a gift or card. They'll also get the benefit of any birthday trip out, special tea etc, so why on earth would they need a present? Very odd

No, no histrionics here & I don't think it's at all cruel not to do it - I just don't / didn't see why some people see it as so inherently 'bad'.
Just one nice way to reinforce to siblings (and I'm talking fairly young here) that other people's birthdays are to be celebrated and are fun occasions. As they get older then yes, definitely involve them in the making of cake, decorations etc. as a way to include them.
I am beginning to see why people may not think it's a great lesson for the non birthday sibling, but still don't buy the idea that it detracts from the 'specialness' of the birthday child.

What an awful message to send to the siblings. Get on and cope with it! siblings will have their own birthday when they get presents surely.
Need to show them THATS LIFE. Not unfair,

Haven't had to deal with or think about this yet but I wouldn't do this. It strikes me that the occasion of someone else's birthday is one small way in which a child starts to learn loads of important life lessons. Such as:

Waiting for things (we all get a birthday eventually)
Not always being the centre of attention
The fun of giving
That presents aren't everything
Coping with jealousy

That's just off the top of my head

You know nothing about what it's like to be the only singleton in a house of twins that are only a year older.My little girl is fan bloody tastic,she copes with a lot and always has done.She asks for nothing and all 3 of my dc are sooo unmaterialistic it's a pleasure to see.

I refuse to have her sat to one side on her own whilst both her siblings rip into a tide of presents.When you have twins everything is double the quantity.Families make a huge fuss of twins particularly first born long awaited grandchildren.

Part of her gift is bringing her into the celebration and all of us celebrating together,enjoying the day.Dp and I have champagne/wine,dp sometimes buys me a little something for going through 7 years of shite to give him the dc.One year it was a tinysolid silver photo frame with 3 frames.It's how we celebrate.

And buying stuff "just because",talk about training kids to waste money on meaningless crap-see I can judge too .

Oh and she's fully involved in the cake making,secrecy thing as are the boys.

we never did.

We thought they should learn to be happy FOR the sibling, and also, the sibling whose birthday it is, would always let his brother play with one of the presents too.

It teaches them to be happy for another person, and that they are not always the centre of attention.

And also to share.

Oh and Eastegg my dd is fab at everything on your list soooo......

All those qualities come down to parenting not wether a child has a teeny £5 gift on their sibling's bday.

All those qualities come down to parenting not wether a child has a teeny £5 gift on their sibling's bday

I couldn't agree more Mila

Fine, milamae, you do it your way. I wasn't even responding to you as I hadn't read your post. You say you don't care what people think, but I was responding to the OP who was asking for opinions on an AIBU thread.

My sister and I always had a little unbirthday present from my Grandma, and now my Mum buys my DC unbirthday presents too. Only something small, a lego minifig for DS1, some hairclips for DD or similar.
It's just a nice little family tradition, nothing to do with jealousy, spoiling, deflecting tantrums or any other negative connotation, and it hasn't spoiled any excitement. I think the thing is it was/is never expected, there is no talk of it, the present is given and enjoyed and appreciated and thats that.

It's just a nice little family tradition yes, same as in our family, nothing to do with tantrums or jealousy :)

As others have said, I'm somewhat amazed at how harshly some are condemning the practice. If you don't like it, fine, don't do it. But I fail to see how one tiny present on a sibling's birthday is going to have any sort of negative impact on a child's upbringing. Why get so upset?

As I said before, we do it to keep the sibling out of the birthday child's hair while they enjoy their presents, not to avoid tantrums or jealousy.

I think it does no harm inside the family, but can get a bit silly if the child then expects it on outside occasions or gets upset if it doesn't happen. Basically, I'm fine with a small family tradition, but a bit about some parents I have met who seem to think that other people's celebrations and not being in the limelight is some kind of ordeal that their child needs help to get through.