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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to consider taking ds out with chicken pox?

114 replies

LiegeAndLief · 08/06/2011 20:47

Genuine question, am prepared to be told IAB outrageously U!

He is covered in spots but completely well in himself and has been bouncing off the walls. There is a playground a short drive from here that is nearly always deserted when we go and any kids there have always been school age. Would it be really bad to drive there during school hours, let him have a run around and jump back in the car in the very unlikely situation that someone turned up? I have no idea if the virus would be shed and stick to playground equipment etc where another child could pick it up.

I know how dangerous chicken pox can be to pregnant women, immunocompromised people etc so really don't want to put him in a situation where he might infect someone, but the selfish bit of me is desperate to get him out of the house!

OP posts:

RunningDay · 09/06/2011 10:19

I find these threads very interesting, because living in Switzerland, there is no advice at all to keep children inside. They even keep going to nursery/school while infected.

RunningDay · 09/06/2011 10:21

I was incensed when I had to fight for the right to be informed if anyone had chickenpox at DS' nursery, as we were thinking of trying for a baby, but I hadn't had the vaccination yet.

As it happened, we waited, I got the vaccinations done, and DS caught chickenpox a week after. Thank goodness!

onclefestere · 09/06/2011 10:43

xstitch I did not know that - thank you feel better now. But I'd still be a bit cheesed off if in contact with CP sufferer....

xstitch · 09/06/2011 10:53

Yes me too oncle that is if thy knew they had CP obviously.

onclefestere · 09/06/2011 10:59

I do sympathise though. I remember my sister having CP and being soooo bored. No option but to stay bored till it's gone, I suppose. Meh.

Dancergirl · 10/06/2011 09:19

RunningDay if it's ok for children with CP to be out and about in Switzerland, what is the view on possibly infecting pregnant women?

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 09:35

CP is no more life-threatening than a common cold, or flu. The hysteria that surrounds it always astounds me (although I understand that for those whose children have really suffered that sounds trite). Go to the park, the varicella zoster virus only lives on hard surfaces for a few hours, but if you are worried an anti-bac wipe will shift it anyway.

Dancergirl, I suspect the fact tha it is viewed as normal to have CP in Switzerland means the isretty much universally childhood exposure, which means you don't get pregnant women who haven't had it. Seems sensible to me.

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 09:35

There is pretty much

xstitch · 10/06/2011 09:41

I would say it was potentially more life threatening than the common cold in terms of numbers infected in relation to complications. I would agree that 'flu' causes a lot of deaths but tbh I would be telling someone with 'flu' to stay in and not be so selfish as well.

xstitch · 10/06/2011 09:44

Although I do have to say I can't imagine someone with 'flu' wanting to be out and about.

oldspeckledtam · 10/06/2011 09:47

I have chicken pox at the moment. I had it as a child but must have come into contact with a super inefectious strain while in Devon last week. My kids have already had it so I'm hoping they will be ok!
I am SO bored stuck at home. Luckily DD has been at school as normal and DS at nursery, but today is usually my day off and DS is not happy that we're staying home.
I can see why you're tempted to go to the park, but I wouldn't. I'd go to open woodland, though!

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 09:49

This is my attempt at balance (based on my children having had it mildly, and based on the virology studied at medical school) but the reason the cold virus is less "deadly" is because of collective exposure, but the fact that it mutates each year means that technically it is more dangerous. It is also quite difficult to contract the virus -anecdotally CP went around DD's nursery four separate times before she caught it.

Here in yummymummyville the chicken pox party is a popular thing, and quite a lot of trying to schedule the virus for a convenient time!

xstitch · 10/06/2011 10:16

Chosing to expose your child to CP at a CP party (which I wouldn't do myself but each to their own) is very different from foisting your known to be infectious child on the public. Do you see what I mean?

If you are invited to a CP party you can make an informed and personal decision whether to go or not? If you happen to be in the park and child with CP runs up to play with your children the choice is taken away from you.

For example when my dd had CP we had visitors due to come 2 days after the spots came out. I called them and gave them the option to cancel if they so wished. They did decide to come but it was their choice and an informed one at that.

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 10:21

But in this situation the mother is talking about going to an empty park...

xstitch · 10/06/2011 10:23

Can she guarantee she will not meet anybody? I doubt it. Still wouldn't do it. I have been there when my dd had it she was well when the spots came out and was bouncing off the walls. I kept her in, it was a bit stressful trying to entertain her but it was the right thing to do IMO.

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 10:31

The "morality" of it interests me. I can see why deliberately exposing vulnerable people to virulent viruses is not on, but this is not a hardy virus. What about other activities? When DS had chicken pox DH was working abroad so I had to go to the supermarket. DS was well but spotty and so came with me. He sat in a trolley, I wiped the trolley down...

xstitch · 10/06/2011 10:37

I always keep a back up supply if I can, including long life milk. Delivery of groceries or asking a neighbour to get some milk at the shop etc. Great way to get to know them. Anything to avoid going out. I have in past jobs taken payment over the phone and delivered stuff to people in that situation.

In the same way I wouldn't go out if I had norovirus, wouldn't visit an ante or post natal ward with a bad cold.

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 10:59

Frankly, I think doing anything to "avoid leaving the house" is a complete over-reaction. But each to their own.

xstitch · 10/06/2011 13:43

Well I don't. When you were a medical school did you ever see someone critically ill in ITU due to CP, because I have and could not knowingly do that to someone. I have also seen a baby born with CP and nearly die then suffer shingles several times before it was 2. I know the pain of losing a baby and could not do anything I knew could put others at the risk of that. Its not like a lifetime aim not to leave the house just the 5 or so days the CP remains infectious for. Yes I do know it becomes infectious before the spots come out but IMO knowing that you are infectious is the key.

PaisleyLeaf · 10/06/2011 13:54

streptococcus, the link from the HPA that give says it is infectious until all scabbed over:
"The most infectious period is from 1 to 2 days before the rash appears but infectivity continues until all the lesions have crusted over (commonly about 5 to 6 days after onset of illness)."

PaisleyLeaf · 10/06/2011 13:55

(sorry, the link that you gave)

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 14:11

That must have been horrendous and I am sorry for your loss, but I have seen plenty of people critically ill from post-viral complications from having a common cold yet (British) society doesn't treat the cold in the same way.
Of course your views are based on horrible experiences, but don't you agree that it is best to get it at a young age and develop the immunity, then try nit to get it at all and risk developing it in pregnancy (and giving birth to a baby with it?)

xstitch · 10/06/2011 14:23

It wasn't me who suffered due to CP I am not talking about staying in to avoid getting it rather than imposing it on others by taking out a child you know to be infectious. Not the same thing at all. This is because you don't know the health of the people you may meet.

My dd already has had it and yes we stayed in. When the baby I am carrying gets it, hopefully after 1 year old I will keep him in. However if someone wanted to bring their child over in the hope that their child would contract it I would invite them in as long as he wasn't too unwell obviously. This on the basis that they would be choosing to allow themselves to be exposed to it rather than me choosing to expose them without their prior knowledge and consent. Do you see where I am coming from and the point I was trying to make. The potential complications are such it is not anybody's place to take that risk for others.

DingleDangleDiva · 10/06/2011 14:26

This Blog by an Ex MNer made me think twice about taking DS out and made a few days boredom seem like nothing compared to the daily grief she has to deal with.

Yes the odds are in your favour that people generally don't die from Chicken Pox but she reminded me how I would feel if one of DS' friends caught it and had done...

clemetteattlee · 10/06/2011 14:30

I understand your point, I just disagree. The fact that other countries in Europe don't quarantine their children during CP interests me. I also think the reality of having two children means that I still had to do the school run when DS had CP (we did stand outside of the gates and someone brought DD to me, but nevertheless we were still out every day). I am interested in your position because I have never met anyone who shares it (or the opinions of many posters on this thread).
I simply consider it to be a normal, childhood illness and therefore not someng to be avoided, nor to take heroic measures to protect others from (basic courtesy,yes - self imposed house arrest, no)

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