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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Poor Kids

559 replies

NearlySpring · 07/06/2011 23:08

Documentary on BBC1 now.

Sat here in tears watching this show following children living in poverty.

One woman, with 3 young girls all under 8. Her partner left her alone and she is struggling with money. The girls were given a sausage roll each for dinner. They are let out to play on a building site and derelict houses- where the he'll is the mother? Mother comes on saying how she can't cope financially- kids saying they have to miss meals as mummy can't always afford food. Next scene, mother has acrylic nails and a massive dog!

AIBU to ask if she can't afford to feed her kids basic cheap meals how the he'll does she feed a massive dog that is bigger than her 3 kids put together!

It must be terrible to be in that situation but surely you get your priorities straight. Who has a pet if they have no money?!!

OP posts:
bethelbeth · 08/06/2011 22:05

I live across the river from the high risers in Glasgow, I can see them where I'm sitting right now. I NEVER go over there.

They've tried to make the area better by building flats at £100k+ but the same social problems still exist.

I know it must be hard to keep a place tidy if you hate it and can't bear living there. But I don't think that the kids best interests are always being looked after.

The blocks of derelict houses are a good 15 mins walk away. In a really rough area with crazily busy roads and a high shooting/stab/unexplained street death rate. I am all for playing in abandoned houses- because they're the most fun for kids obviously- you can't be with them 24/7 but to let them roam around in that area with no supervision..... Shudder

It is sad because you walk around Glasgow and sometimes you see kids and their families and you hope to god that they get their shit together because otherwise it will just be history repeating itself.

thekidsrule · 08/06/2011 22:07

there are some very good well managed council,association estates about

i was,not now bought up on a estate (though do still visit) and let me tell some that there is more sense of community and friendliness than some barratt morgaged estate from my personal experience

Fifis25StottieCakes · 08/06/2011 22:14

Beth, i stayed with a friend in Govan who lived on a council estate. I lived on the same estate i live on now. This is in the 90's mind. I could not believe the differences i seen there compared to here. The buses were meshed up, the shops were meshed up. The estate was awful. It must vary dramatically from council to council. There are rougher estates here as well although dramatically improved to what there were

bethelbeth · 08/06/2011 22:21

I grew up on one as well Fifi but it was in EK and a bit more 'upmarket'. Or at least it wasn't run down or plagued by gangs.
Gorbals is really bad. Actually whole of city centre is really bad.

I think it does vary from council to council although whats weird about the gorbals is that theres been SO much investment in it as an area in the last decade. Millions and millions. It is prime real estate as it's within walking distance of city centre. But everything that they have done to improve the area has been ruined/broken/stolen and the whole thing is totally delapidated again.

Govan's pretty interesting in parts, it now has a huuuuge immigrant population. I think it's a bit better than it was in the 90s though. Marginally.

MummaEss · 08/06/2011 22:25

I really dont understand poverty in the UK today. I have been a single parent of 2 girls, have lived on benefit and live on a council estate. There are cut and dried amounts of money that the government say that you need to live on. These are clearly adequate to provide your children with 3 good meals a day, decent clothes for home and school, a decent bedroom and toys and the odd day out. I know because I have done it. The amounts given are uniform throughout the country and provide a good standard of living. I am aware that some social housing in places is a bit grotty and inadequate but this has nothing to do with kids missing meals and going to school in dirty and innapropriate clothes. This is NOT caused by 'poverty' in this day and age. It is caused by terrible and selfish parenting!

Thingumy · 08/06/2011 22:29

Interesting figures on poverty

Fifis25StottieCakes · 08/06/2011 22:33

We wnt nightclubbing to bonkers beth Grin

Capiche · 08/06/2011 22:34

i grew up in a well off household but was underfed,skipped meals , rarely washed and wore clothes years out of date and too small shoes - would ask my 'mother' why but haven't spoken to her in decades....

My personal view on this is that the mental health of the parents affect their,choices, ability to clean etc and access to services

They maybe don't know HOW to apply for what they are entitled - of course we can all sit on here saying 'go to the school lost property' 'go to the 50p shop' 'freecycle' etc but we are mostly bright, educated,focused people

Were I living on a run down estate in Bradford with three kids and no sign of a bright future- i would not feel like getting out of bed ......

I think government resources would be best spent EDUCATING people about how to deal with finances. NOT buying a new TV but getting one on ebay etc.

It all looks so simple on paper but reality is not like that

Capiche · 08/06/2011 22:35

I found all the little girls to be quite precocious and broad minded things

Sam and his sister however both struck me as VERY young for their age with much more of a 'victim' mentality than the rest

thekidsrule · 08/06/2011 22:38

"victim mentality" have a heart

Ripeberry · 08/06/2011 22:40

It's not just bad living conditions, it's mind numbing depression as well. Maybe they don't have a hoover and can't be bothered to brush up?

Even in the days of the slums people had pride and kept themselves clean and their homes clean as best they could.

It's depression and lethargy that is causing all this Sad

Thingumy · 08/06/2011 22:44

Really Capiche?

I thought they were very realistic for their ages.

Sam was when he said about bullying 'it's not about my clothes,it's about the person' hardly immature thinking for a 11 year old.

Thingumy · 08/06/2011 22:45

mature

sod my typing tonight grrr.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/06/2011 22:45

MummaEss, I'm glad that your experience of living on benefits worked out OK, but you are wrong if you think that the amount of money people have to spend is uniform across the country. Where I live there is a shortage of social housing and HB is capped. I know families who pay out all of their tax credits on rent and so have only JSA and CB to live on. School uniforms vary in price and not all Local Authorities give uniform grants.

I'm on benefits, not in debt and without the help of my family I couldn't cope. The money just wouldn't stretch.

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/06/2011 22:45

I have been on FB for the last hour and have during the course of today "spoken" to the parents of 3 of the children featured. They are doing their best given their situations.

I have been told to "Fuck off" by a 20yr old who thinks she knows all about life [sigh]

usualsuspect · 08/06/2011 22:46

Capiche

well that says more about you really

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/06/2011 22:47

precoious?? they were little girls Sad

LegoStuckinMyhoover · 08/06/2011 22:48

capiche, sam and his sister had a mother who walked out when they were were small on top of the issues of poverty and bullying.

what do you mean 'victim'? they are kids.

were not all the children in fact, all victims of the way this country ticks.
not everyone has the ability to fight all the time, especially when they are worn down.

ripeberry, how do you know about that about the slums in the olden days?

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/06/2011 22:51

Like @ legos post

usualsuspect · 08/06/2011 22:54

I lived in a slum in the 60s ..no bathroom,no inside toilet .you do know that that is why council estates were built ,don't you? to rehouse the people who lived in slums

didn't quite work though did it ..especially now the bastard Torys want to move em on out

Thingumy · 08/06/2011 23:00

What was utter ridiculous was what the Glaswegian girl commented on (unsure if true but) when those awful damp tower blocks were demolished,she commented that not all of the tenants were being rehoused due to no more social housing being available.

They were being put into hotels to stay until they were rehomed.

How much does that cost and still they can't find the monies (or the inclination) to keep social housing in a decent state (ie without damp)?

That's how fucked up this country is.

Nullius · 08/06/2011 23:01

As a single parent I got around 480 a month, 5 and half grand a year. Yeah, life of riley that!! Especailly when you pay as much as 50% more for gas and electirc because of payment meters.

PiousPrat · 08/06/2011 23:06

MummaEss how far your money stretches depends to a huge extent on where in the country you are, and even which borough within that area. I am in the middle of the country so not the over inflated prices of London, but not the cheap as chips North either and here, JSA and CTC don't stretch far at all. Council waiting lists are 3 years long for those on the priority emergency list, and that includes all the HA places as well so most people have no choice but to rent privately. HB is capped as well. I live in a 3 bed private rented house in a village that has no council or HA housing. My rent is one of the cheapest in the village yet there is still a deficit each month of £140. That difference has to come out of my benefits.

If you then factor in that the village has one shop and appalling public transport then the cost of everything suddenly jumps up as well. All of a sudden those 'ample' benefits don't stretch as far as they need to. I shudder to think how people who live in more expensive areas than I do manage to cope.

Or perhaps they should relocate to a cheaper area because they were unlucky enough to lose their job, or had their partner walk out on them? Maybe the real answer is to have real, proper slums and ship all the undeserving poor off there so the fortunate few can take a nice jaunt out there on the weekend in their Range Rovers and gawp at the paupers. A modern day Bedlam for middle class amusement?

Thingumy · 08/06/2011 23:07

The government levels of what is acceptable to live on is utter shite.

Capiche · 08/06/2011 23:07

well the other little girls seemed to just 'get on with it' - maybe it was jsut an age thing
the girls seemded to have a mature -almost philosophical view on life

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