to not buy a 30th birthday present for bil ....

[Gonzo33]

when he is getting married 2 days before and we are sending a cheque towards his honeymoon for the wedding, which is what they have asked for.

We cannot attend because of the fact we live in another country and husband is working.

Me xx

YANBU as you do not HAVE to buy a birthday present for anyone. If I normally send someone a present I would not penalise them for getting married close to their birthday, so would either send extra money as a joint wedding/birthday present or get someting seperate. Seems a shame for him to miss out, kind of like children who get a 'joint' christmas and birthday present just because they are born on boxing day.

YABU. If you usually send him something, then do it this year, even if it's something small, like a nice photo frame for a wedding picture.