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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wear my wedding dress as a guest at a friends wedding?

60 replies

DaisyHayes · 05/06/2011 13:35

I don't want to look like a lunatic Miss Havisham type, but I haven't the time or money to buy a new dress for an upcoming wedding, so was thinking maybe I could just wear the dress I wore to mine.

My wedding dress was not white. It's dark gold, and in fact an evening dress, not a bridal dress.

However. The said friend did come to my wedding and therefore might recognise it (especially as my FB profile picture is a wedding one). If she does will she think me a crazy person or be offended?

Yay or nay?

OP posts:
cunexttuesonline · 05/06/2011 13:37

YANBU, as long as it's not a white dress I think it's fine.

BalloonSlayer · 05/06/2011 13:38

It wouldn't bother me, but why don't you ask her if you are worried?

potoftea · 05/06/2011 13:38

If it is a dress that you would look at in a shop and think it suitable for the friend's wedding, then yes, fine to wear it.

The fact that you wore it previously as a bride isn't an issue I think.

CMOTdibbler · 05/06/2011 13:39

Is it an evening dress sort of wedding then ? I don't think it would be appropriate if it is long and might be seen as a bm type dress, but if not, and bride is only one who was at your wedding, then it would be ok

WhoAteMySnickers · 05/06/2011 13:39

I'd say yay. IMO, at a wedding, as long as you're not wearing white/ivory with a veil, or dressed head to toe in black whispering "it should have been me" then anything else goes.

Why don't you ask your friend and see what she thinks?

blackeyedsusan · 05/06/2011 13:39

let her know before hand. shouldn't be a problem as it is not white...

Original poster
DaisyHayes · 05/06/2011 13:39

I'd ask but the wedding is tomorrow and I suspect she's got bigger things to worry about right now.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 05/06/2011 13:40

I'd think you were a bit mad if I were your friend Grin

But only you know her and only you know what the dress looks like. So why not have a word with her first?

helenthemadex · 05/06/2011 13:41

I had visions of a big white meringue style dress Grin

I dont see why it would be a problem, but if you are worried then ring the bride up and ask her

ps maybe dont take your bouquet though Grin

worraliberty · 05/06/2011 13:41

Oh X posts! Sad

Why such a last minute rush?

Mind you, when I read the title I wondered if it was going to be a Princess Di type dress...that would have been amusing Blush

katvond · 05/06/2011 13:41

Go for it I am sure she won't care what your wearing if I'm honest she will be more concerned how shes going to look

Original poster
DaisyHayes · 05/06/2011 13:46

Ok. Hmmm. It might be a bit wierd as it's full length. Wrong for a reg office?

It's last minute because I am useless and kept thinking that I'd open my wardrobe on the day and discover the perfect dress which I had previously bought and forgotten all about. This doesn't appear to have happened (though I did find an old maternity dress - maybe I could wear that instead?)

OP posts:
FaffTastic · 05/06/2011 13:50

Sounds a bit OTT if it's in a Registry Office tbh.

Yekke · 05/06/2011 13:51

I would find it odd that someone wore a long dress to a registry office wedding and stranger still that the dress was very obviously the one they got married in. It almost says that you're competing with the bride or wish that it was you in her place. I'm sure that neither is the case but personally I'd be concerned about giving that impression.

Original poster
DaisyHayes · 05/06/2011 13:51

Yes, that's the one BallonSlayer. It's fine isn't it? Very subtle and doesn't scream 'wedding'.

OP posts:
Original poster
DaisyHayes · 05/06/2011 13:53

Oh feck it. The last fecking thing I feel like doing now is going to Oxford Street. I don't even like weddings.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 05/06/2011 13:53

and kept thinking that I'd open my wardrobe on the day and discover the perfect dress which I had previously bought and forgotten all about

OMG I thought it was just me who did that! Grin

katvond · 05/06/2011 13:54

Is that the dress OP that ballon showed? If so very OTT for a registry office
You may upstage the bride in that

cerealqueen · 05/06/2011 13:58

If you resemble 'a bride' in any way, if the dress is likely to detract from THE bride because of that, YABU.

PoweredbyTea · 05/06/2011 13:59

I'd say fine as long as you aren't going to accessorise it with a veil and a bouquet Wink and as long as not too many of the guests are the same people who were at yours.

cerealqueen · 05/06/2011 13:59

Just seen the dress, if that is the one, YADBU.

Original poster
DaisyHayes · 05/06/2011 14:02

Nooooooooo, ceralqueen, that's not the dress. it's foul, I wouldn't wear it as a bride let alone a guest.

It's a very simple full length halter neck sheath dress.

OP posts:
happygilmore · 05/06/2011 14:03

I think Balloon was having a joke..

DontGoCurly · 05/06/2011 14:13

I wouldn't wear a long dress to a Registry office wedding. Especially if it's a formal gown. I'd only really wear something like that if it is 'black tie'

You're better off erring on the side of under-done than over-done, you dont want to feel more glam than the bride!