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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO ASK WOMEN. In haVING EVERYTHING; DO YOU END UPDOING DOING EVERYTHING/

108 replies

ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 11:06

yOU have all heard the phrase about "having everything" career, family etc Someone came upwith a clever saying "we have everything; but we end up doing everything" (I assume it was about doing job and housework) I should imagine there is a lot of that going on. But you would know better than me.

OP posts:
Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 12:52

jajas...dont come the school marm with me duchess or is it duke/ People who are obessed about spelling are obsessed about posh manners and posh frocks or kilts. Lift your eyes from the nit picking trough jajas. Or you will be awarded nitpicker of the year, a person WHO IS SHALLOWER THAN A PANCAKE SAT ON BY A PREGNANT ELEPHANT. ...(You dish it out I assume you can take it.)

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tak1ngchances · 05/06/2011 12:53

Scousy be nice...if you don't stop being abusive I will report you to MNHQ!

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 13:00

WHEN SOMEONE OPENLY QUESTIONS MY INTEGRITY. i GIVE OUT JOKEY WELLY....cENSORING ME IS RATHER DIFFICULT. aND NOT A WORTHY THING TO DO (i NEVER START FIGHTS HERE, I DO RESPOND WHICH IS GOOD MANNERS. (IGNORING PEOPLE DELIBERATELY IS VERY SHODDY MANNERS)

OP posts:
K999 · 05/06/2011 13:00

Scousy. Do you consider yourself to "have it all"?

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 13:02

Back to the headline. Can we have a house husbands view. There are more than you think (see Tatler june 2009)

OP posts:
GetOrf · 05/06/2011 13:05

What the fuck is going on on this thread? Have I walked into some kind of LSD inspired mumsnet?

Anywayyyy I hate the sneering 'women cannot have it all'. As if you are an idiot for trying. You can have most of it I think.

The ket step with reducing resentment is equal shares in housework. I ma not picking up after DH. He is an adult. I also have a teenaher who pulls her weight as well. We all have a loose list of chores we are responsible for.

Also is good to have financial equality, that way some bloke can't say I am not cleaning the loo, I pay the mortgage or something.

I would not want to reduce my standards and live in a mess in order to deal with someoen not helping with the housework - what's that about? However I know taht I shoot myself in the foot re cooking responsibilities - DH is a vile experimental cook and I am not eating that crap, so I end up cooking most of the time. But I don't resent that, I enjpoy cooking anyway, and DP is responsible for all the gardening and outside maintenance so is a fair trade off.

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 13:12

K999..(are in Doctor who?) Me? have it all, no. I am A great Irishiotnot that ambitious. (It is very ambitious) The trouble with great ambition is you cannot tell it from greDo .(I am phil O Sospiclale.) ME ON HOUSEWORK....I will shout down to the wife....FELICITY....Do I do ze housework....? (that answer is not repeatable, it mentioned Jeremy Hunt on the TODAY programme) Please explain to the ones who dont dopolitics.) Bless

OP posts:
K999 · 05/06/2011 13:16

I am trying really hard to understand you Scousy but I'm sorry, you are making absolutely no sense? Quick tip. Preview your posts.

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 13:18

Getorf? well, the thread started with 20 straight posts on the headline subject. Then someone got lippy; I sent them up somewhat. Took the life of bliss...Then a bird got iffy and talked censorship. I dont think she was justified. Musnet is not the Daily ~torygraph. Lets have a posting from a house husband. Kenny Logan would do. He dishes out welly

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K999 · 05/06/2011 13:20

"a bird" ???

You do realise we don't have wings or feathers don't you?

If I were to think of what kind of bird you could be I would think dodo....which are, thankfully extinct now.

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 13:27

K999 you do not tryingf hard enough. You had 10 years schooling at my expense and you are at "the cAT SAT ON THE MAT" level. Must try harder..and must develop a little sincerity. You seem like someone whois posing dumb I dont mind dumb people I do mind posers like k999

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Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 13:31

Now lets geet back to the debate rather than bollocking each other up y-front and silk knicker. Debate means people making points and counter points with a degree of rationality. Where is Kenny Logan Rugby player are rational. They sing debating songs

OP posts:
K999 · 05/06/2011 13:35

I think I have moved on from "the cat sat on the mat" level. And I didn't realise that you alone funded my education?

noddyholder · 05/06/2011 13:36

If you feel like you have it all you probably have. If you are chasing your tail dropping kids off here there and everywhere,never having a minute to yourself and are a bit skint trying to keep up with the Jones's you probably think you are having it all but aren't.

sausagesandmarmelade · 05/06/2011 13:44

H and I both work full time...and we share the chores. It's not a problem at all...

I wouldn't say that we have EVERYTHING....but we have everything we need as well as treats like nice holidays etc.

MoreBeta · 05/06/2011 13:50

Scousy - I'D RECOGNISE your typings tyle anywhere AS WOULD manyothers. Grin

K999 · 05/06/2011 13:53

Agh. It's finally making sense.

Bumperlicioso · 05/06/2011 13:57

Scousy I don't think anyone is being pedantic (well, maybe motherinferior Grin) but the rest of us are going WTF at your incoherent ramblings.

This could be an interesting debate if only you'd stop posting!

northerngirl41 · 05/06/2011 13:57

I think there are some people who can work full-time, have children, an immaculate house, a wonderful relationship with their husband, a social life and look amazing every morning... But they are very, very rare.

For the rest of us mere mortals, we should prioritise what is most important and accept help where we can get it and bugger the rest of it.

I have one friend who is obsessed with keeping the house clean - she never plays with her kids, they don't go to after school activities because "I wouldn't have time to get the housework done" and worst of all, she hates it. She hoovers twice a day, cleans everything THEN bleaches it, then washes it down... It's insane. I told her to hire a cleaning lady (she defo has the money!) and she's now actually spending time with her kids and enjoying them!

Another mum got very upset with me because I said "I don't think most women can have it all - something has to give" and when she vehemently denied this statement, as she managed a career and children and to keep house properly. I pointed out she was getting divorced so really didn't manage to have it all.

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 13:58

I take Noddy and sausages points. Diverse and relevant.The site is back on course. If i lived alone I would do very little housework. I dont do much as it is. YOU WILL LOVE THIS.."My elder brother used to say "i DONT LIKE MOVING DUST AROUND" The women in the village tried tohelp. He hid when they called. Some of the professional women like GL may have servants. I am told "you can get the servants "these days. Its a backside shrinking trainer GL says she has. Does the trainer concentrate on other areas? (These are in jokes, I apologise)

OP posts:
Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 14:11

With me, its always the meaning that mattesr not the typos. ome posters give the impression they would have difficulty with Enid Blyton. Writers are only one part of the deal; wouldbe readers do have to be capable of reading. I am not here on mumsnet to take the infant class. I assume you are all adult. The only you will get good at debating is by doing it. (Like sex? not really) Though I have been known to be orgasmic...If you have a loveof our language you will have a better chance of using it well. TRhats what I tell the young student boozers.NOW...I want a scruffy couple on to restore my faith in human nature. You are not all royal manches are you? Wills tophat was a throwback at epsom

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phedre · 05/06/2011 14:15

Oh I just thought Scousy was the new Gaby Logon aka chatbot.

Are we meant to be having a serious conversation?

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 05/06/2011 16:11

Well yes, serious up to apoint; we are not the Times Educational Supplement. We are mumsnet; humour is part of the mix. I have just seen a bitof dust on the top of that door. Wheres my feather duster. DISGUSTING

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TheFlyingOnion · 05/06/2011 16:19

complete mentalist imho....

noddyholder · 05/06/2011 16:20

There are times when dp and I are like wayne and waynetta! Today for eg watching tennis tea toast and papers everywhere and look like we could do with a good kick up the bum. Other times we are the hosts with the most producing trays of yummy food and drink from our living etc kitchen with pretentious french radio wafting in the background. As soon as people leave we are swearing through gritted teeth saying never again and on it goes. No one is perfect all the time I just don't believe it

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