TO ASK WOMEN. In haVING EVERYTHING; DO YOU END UPDOING DOING EVERYTHING/

[ScousyFogarty]

yOU have all heard the phrase about "having everything" career, family etc Someone came upwith a clever saying "we have everything; but we end up doing everything" (I assume it was about doing job and housework) I should imagine there is a lot of that going on. But you would know better than me.

very interesting set of posts. It is clearly a live issue. Annie your post is very interesting. I am from a very large family, my mothers always put the kids first. (and the family was a full time job) They were different times. No mischief maker has asked me about Kenny Logan. Even the serious subjects, this is one, have an amusing side. May I ask as a student of media.Is Cosmopolitician mag a bit influence on professional women?

I meant "big influence"

Agree Georgimama. Lowering standards is easy to say and hard to do though!

What?

i do the bulk of the housework (as i like doing housework) and every thing else is split.so yes i do have it all. A husband who loves me, 2 amazing children a job i love.

Are you genuinely a Media student scousy ?

I'm not a big fiend on grammar and spelling, buuuut... look at the title of your thread!

Nope. I agree with bumper and annie and the others who have said there's always lots to do but if you have grown-up husband then why would you do everything? I do more of the faffing around with cushions and making beds look neat but dh does the chores I hate such as emptying the bins and loading the dishwasher so it all evens out. When we're both here then we split childcare 50/50 pretty much and I don't understand why anyone would do it differently.

No way I only work 25 hours but I like my free time with my husband looking after our DD. I also dont do all the housework cause I cant be bothered with doing it all. I could probably do it all if I was forced to but I am never going to do it for no reason.Why would you put up with someone using you?

I do feel lucky that I have a husband who lets me have a full social life with my friends and family. Some couples I know the woman cant do anything or go anywhere as she always has the kids. I dont get relationships like that tbh.

kickingking and duellingfanjo I'm the same me and DH constantly argue that one of us does more than the other, but we are both equally lazy and will both do the minimum we can get away with

Didn't really understand any of your last post, OP.

K999 I agree with you 100pc. I think having a lovely cleaner and/or ironing service could save lots of marriages

Speaking as a journalist, I can tell you there is no such magazine as Cosmopolitician.

Having a cleaner is brilliant. We all come home on a Friday evening to a wonderfully clean house and a lovely pile of ironed clothes. It means that the weekend is spent doing things we enjoy. And during the week when the bathroom looks a little grotty I don't stress as I know it'll get a good going over on the Friday.

i suspect that dh simply has no clue about the amount of 'work' i'm doing on a daily basis... i think it's just invisible to him. and even if, say, he is grateful and appreciates the supper i cook every night, he doesn't see that it's more than just making a spaghetti bolognese, it's meal planning and shopping too

Motherinferior

I think it's only a problem if either party resent what the other is doing. When the DC were tiny I did everything in the house and for the children. When I went back to work, I still did everything, except the cleaning, the bins and the garden. I spend approximately 12 hours of my day on paid employment, chores and dc; dh works abroad Monday to Friday and spends about 12 hours of his day and often a day at weekends on paid employment. I accept he is a workaholic; I accept I run the home and the dc; I also accept willingly all of the benefits his commitment to work have given us. Had I insisted he do half the chores and divi the home stuff up with me - would he still have got to the top - I don't know but I do know he would have been very unhappy and by association so would I.

Media ? if you get to my age and you take a serious interest in the media; you know your private eye from your exchange and mart; and your New statesman from your dheersaily torygraph....plus your cosmo and your She devil ( I hope the posting who raised this likes me taking the piss) some people wear the badge "Scousy Bollocke Me WOW" cheers

What are you talking about? Have you been drinking?

I still don't get what the hell op is talking about.

Look at the OP's other posts on MN and you will see a trend. Ignore! This topic is interesting though so keep posting here, pleeease!

TAKING CHANCES I haVE A FEELING YOUR INTELLIGENT POST SPEAKS FOR A LOT OF WOMEN...Who would not dream of making their views public. I assume "having it all" may have been anamerican import They popularise catchy phrases which dont mean a lot

I do everything. I am a not a doormat but i am tired, pissed off and wish that DH would do some fucking housework instead of be off on a cycling weekend with his friends.

We are SO having a conversation when he gets back.

There was a poster on this site who said "was I really a media student" Stand up and own up. You earned the b ollocking. ON the headline it is a good thread. Just to make the point, women whoare making it work are more likely to post than thos in ze shit with hubby. So its not a represitive sample...but very interesting in any case. I happen to think the phrase "having it all" mAY BE YANKY KING SIZED TESTICLES.

We both work full time. DH probably does more housework and cooking than me as his hours aren't as long as mine.
We have had an issue since DS (8 months) was born in that DH assumes the default position is that I'm always "in charge" of DS and that DH's free time is for him to do what he wants with. Erm, no. We had to have serious words about that and it is now much better.

Jaja I don't think anyone would complain if it was a 100% out of house/100% in house situation. That is equal division of labour. I think what most women complain about is doing 150%, i.e. 100% of the house-related stuff and earning 50% of the income. As was the case with Honeybee.
Honeybee, I'm so happy to see that someone has raised the issue and made things better. If you don't mind me asking, how are you managing things now? (Looking for inspiration!)