to not let my dd have her ears pearced

[libbylobs]

my dd has come home from a playdate, and now wants her ears pearced, she is only 6 and i think its to young ., what do you think? x

do you no metal i think your right, will think about it but you do talk sencex

i have had a wine so spelling maybe wrong .x

giveitago why do you think it is "lower middle class white aspirational" to think that small children don't need to have their ears pierced? I think that a lot of people don't much like piercings in small children, especially if they are obviously of an age where earrings are unlikely to be their choice (too little), dangerous (because small children are highly active and likely to get their earrings caught) and a nuisance (not allowed in school etc).

My family is established upper middle and very academic and the expectation is that getting your ears pierced is something you do when you are grown up enough to take responsibility both for looking after your ears and for keeping the earrings safe. So generally not before 14-16 or so. That was when most of my friends had theirs done too. Different cultures make different choices and I think that many people do think that a lot of bling on a small child isn't terribly classy, but that's a judgement on parents not the child.

It seems to me just unnecessary to do it earlier, and given that piercing is a permanent change I think it is something that people should choose to do for themselves (and I don't think a six year old is capable of understanding the implications). The argument that it saves the child having to do it later seems really rather odd to me, what difference does it make - it's still the same amount of pain and discomfort and the same risks of infection and long term scarring. The only difference is that it is a parent's decision for children under 16 and the child's choice after that (although I think ear piercing is covered by bylaws, so this age may vary).

YANBU. People who have their small children's ears pierced are stupid. Ten years old is the absolute minimum IMO.

People who pierce the ears of babies/toddlers are stupid and common and should be prosecuted for child abuse.

I wouldn't allow my DD (3) to have her ears pierced aged 6, I don't think it's old enough for the responsibility but it is a personal choice. I might let her when she's a bit older- like 10, but depends on what she's like.

I really don't like seeing earrings on babies. It isn't so much it looks chavvy, it's more because the baby wouldn't have asked to have pierced ears, would have no understanding of why they're ears hurt so much when having them pierced and also I'd have been to worried about my pfb yanking on them/getting her earrings caught on clothes etc and really hurting herself.

Don't want to speak for giveitago but I do agree with her class assesment. You're only going to worry about it looking Chavvy if you are one pair of gold studs away from looking like a chav anyway.
TakeIt - genuine question - how is a 10 year old going to be any different to a 9 yo when it comes to getting their ears pierced?

Say no if you don't like it. You're the parent. FWIW I got my ears pierced at 8 but NEVER wear earrings now - they don't suit me. However the earring holes still get blocked and occasionally go septic and I'm in my 30's. Haven't worn earring since I was 18 either. I wish I didn't have the holes.

takeitonthechins, How does getting a child's ears peirced make you stupid? So people who get their ears peirced for religous reasons are stupid?
I personally got my childrens ears done when they were babies as they are less likely to fiddle with them or pull at them than an older child would. My daughters didnt even cry and I was able to clean them and look after their peircings without them being fiddled with. :) And i always bought the safety studs which dont fall out easily. Certain people may think it looks chavvy but i dont really care, most children want their ears peirced somewhere along the line so i just decided to get it done sooner rather than later :shrugs

What does irk me a bit is when the children do PE in school and the school say the studs have to be taken out. I personally dont take them out as they do PE 3 days a week and im not goign to cause them upset by taking them out then putting them in then taking them out then putting them back in. its ridiculous, i have never heard anyone have a serious accident caused by a stud ???

What I don't understand is the posts that suggest getting it done sooner rather than later, because the girl will only fiddle with them/get infections later on, and the sooner they're done, the faster they'll get used to them ... which all seems to assume that it's compulsory to get it done and that every girl will want it done. Pierced ears aren't mandatory, they're not an inevitable part of being female, and not all young girls want them. Why decide for them when they're too young to understand what it entails?

16 would be my earliest age. Probably lucky I don't have a daughter, but hey. It would be my answer to my sons too. (Having just asked DH (who had his ear pierced at 19), he thinks it'd be dependent on what sort of teenager DS was, which is much more sensible and less hardline, but DS1 is my baby and I can't stomach the idea, not while he's still legally a child. So nyear.)

Tallulah, you've never heard of anyone tearing their earlobe while playing? It happened at my middle school, I think she'd have been about 8, on a climbing frame. No, it wasn't a 'serious accident' (if you don't think that an avoidable rip on an 8 yr old earlobe is serious) but it was nasty, and there was a lot of blood, and she was very scared and upset. Wasn't doing PE, was just playing. (I presume the butterfly or the stud got jammed at the junction of the bars on the climbing frame? was a long time ago!)

I think you're unwise to ignore and flout the school's regulations on this, or on anything else, really. What makes you special?

What age do places pierce from? I think it's about 5 months at Claires - well old enough for the child to grab at them - especially if they're sore. I think an older child would mess with them less cos you could explain to them about infection.

I could only find 1 place to get dd 2.5's done and asked a few. Claires wouldnt do her

No, don't do it. Just say no.

My oldest dd has just has hers done - she's 10. She's been incredibly responsible about cleaning and turning them twice daily. I think when they're old enough to be trusted to do this themselves is the time to do it.

Oh and don't go to Claire's whatever you do. They do both ears at once (2 assistants)....how on earth can they be sure both sides match doing it like that...?

Go to a reputable jeweller/chemist and make sure first earrings are real gold.

All my 3 got both sides done at the same time. I wouldnt do it again as the youngests had to be surgically removed. It was horrific.

I really wouldn't until you are sure she is old enough to look after them properly.

I heard today about a little girl (child of an acquaintance) who is 6 who had to have her earrings surgically removed because they got badly (and very painfully) infected, and will never be able to wear earrings again. I am not sure how easily this happens, and suspect it did not help that she was staying with her dad over half term (parents separated) and he probably did have much clue about what needed to be done apart from what his DD told him.

Ignoring religious/cultural reasons (on which I do not comment as I am not sure what underlies this), I also think it should properly be the child's decision, and i think 6 is too young to think through all the consequences as others on here have indicated by personal experience. It may well be a whim at that age or peer pressure.

reshapewhiledamp, You can relate anything in the world to an accident, having your hair tied up in a ponytail can cause an accident just as easily as hair let down, a school tie could be a lot more dangerous than a stud earring!

Time - My dd banged hers on the trampoline. The next day one was swollen and i couldnt get the earing out. I left it and thought the swelling would go down. She went to bed that night and at 11pm started screaming. She had blood poaring down her kneck and her ear was hugh. I took her to A&E straight away (midnight). 2 RTA's come in then at 6 am i was told another one had come in and was transferred to another hospital. She had an OP at 2pm and they put her to sleep.

I wouldnt advise anyone to get childrens ears pierced after going through that. It was awful for her. The other 2 got theirs done at 6 and were ok but i still would leave it til much later in case anything goes wrong

"Go to a reputable jeweller/chemist and make sure first earrings are real gold."

We went to a reputable jeweller who used real gold and they used earrings that were dangerous because they were too small and arrow shaped, so when dd had the accident with the towel I mentioned above the earring got lodged inside her ear hole. Both the cottage hospital and the a&e department said the earring shouldn't have been used. i went back to see them but they couldn't see what was wrong with them.
Next time she had them done we used Claires who were really good.

I had mine done at age 9, I was old enough to clean them and turn them. They did get a bit infected, but I don't know if age was a factor, but healed in the end ok.

I would never pierce a baby'e ears simply for the reason that they cannot consent to undergoing a painful and unnecessary procedure that will scar them forever, and all for no good reason! Surely wait until they are old enough to understand the pros and cons and can look after them themselves.

As an aside, what is all this about PE and rules? I don't remember all that, it was 20 years ago though!

I haven't read through the entire thread...

Based on my very recent personal experience of this, I recommend waiting until your DD is around 12-13.
I think pierced ears are cute, but there is a lot of work required to keep infection at bay. At 13, your DD will be able to do the necessary cleaning herself.

My story:
DD1 (9) wanted hers pierced for her First Communion. Most girls in her class got them done recently. So we got DD1s ears pierced in the beginning of March. When I learned of the cleaning routine, I decided to do DD2 (7) at same time, planned to clean both sets of ears at same time, rather than face into this routine again in 2 years time.
We got them done at Claires, who provide clear details of the required cleaning routine along with cleaning solution.

First 2 weeks, I cleaned twice daily. Then I slackened off a bit, may once every two days, and by week 5 ears seemed fine, I stopped cleaning. (My bad, I know.)

Then around week 8, girls wanted 'new' earings. First of all, the back of the surgical steel earings were very difficult to remove, causing a bit of drama. DD2's ears bled a little, and the holes didn't seem to be properly 'healed' so I didn't allow her change to her new sterling silver earings, and put back in the original earings again. And went back on the cleaning routine for about 2 weeks. Ears then seemed fine again, but this time it was even harder to remove the backs from the surgical steel earings. So I gave up (at DD2 insistence!), and she still has these in (but her ears seem fine, but now she is too nervous to have them removed after ordeal last 2 times).

DD1s ears seemed fine, so we changed to sterling silver earings. Changed to new silver/pearl earings a few weeks later for the Communion. Went to change these again this evening (after about 2 weeks) , only to find her ears infected (pus in the holes when I pulled through the earings). I did thorough clearing, and put back in the surgical steel earings, but with stering silver backs, so I can remove more easily for a more thorough daily cleaning for the next 2 weeks or so.

I never expected ear piercing to be such a pain in the ass.

Very long - sorry.

Bump for info Cheerful Yank and Goblinchild

My daughters had theirs done at 7 and 3!

Older DD is getting her first Holy Communion next week and her studs will look beautiful with her outfit.

My now 4yo actually wanted to get hers done, she knew there would be pain but didn't mind.

I think they look really nice with the earrings, not a bit chavish.

They got their ears pierced in Claires and I followed the guidelines religiously, had no problems. And they never fiddled with their earrings. I was lucky I guess!

good for you lady007pink. There is so much snobbiness on mumsnet sometimes.