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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my dd have her ears pearced

122 replies

libbylobs · 04/06/2011 20:10

my dd has come home from a playdate, and now wants her ears pearced, she is only 6 and i think its to young ., what do you think? x

OP posts:
bruffin · 04/06/2011 23:49

I let my DD have them done the start of the summer holidays for her 10th birthday in sept. After two weeks she caught one on a towel which pulled the earing into her ear and was lodged there Shock. We spent our wedding anniversary in a&e trying to get the earring removed. Waited again until the summer holidays before she started secondary and she has had no problems since.

My mother had hers done when she was in her 60s who seem to have inspired mil who got hers done a few months later and she was in her late 70sGrin

I am half greek and my english mum resisted all my greek grandmother's pleas to have our ears pierced at birth. I had beutiful earrings for my christening but I was not allowed to have them pierced until I was 13.

Apparently when my dad was young he thought baby girls were born with pierced ears as he had never seen a baby girl without earrings Grin

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 05/06/2011 00:04

My older DDs were 11/12 when they had theirs done DD1 has since had 2 more in each ear at 17

DD3 is 2 and will NOT be getting them done until a similar age. Here in Spain I spent the first year of her life being told 'what a lovely little boy' by any Spanish person that stopped to coo, regardless of what she was wearing - and even though she actually looked like a girl anyway. I realised by the time she was about 6 months that ALL Spanish baby girls (well, almost without exception) have their ears pierced by 2 months and these people assumed that DD3 was a boy as she had no earrings. Hmm

An Argentinian friend of mine actually asked the midwives when she had her daughter which one of them would pierce her ears as soon as she was born. There, they actually do it within hours. She was really shocked when I told her why DD3 did not have hers done.

It's funny though, when I see pierced ears on babies and children under ten in the UK I don't like it at all, but here it's just so normal to see on the Spanish that it doesn't look remotely odd ifswim.

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 05/06/2011 00:05

*iyswim

Gonzo33 · 05/06/2011 10:49

My Mum had mine done at 3, because I asked. In the country that we live in now it is customary (religious purposes - not Chav reasons) to have them done between 8 and 12mths. However, I have not had my dd's ears pierced yet, and don't intend to until she is older (she is 16mths).

empirestateofmind · 05/06/2011 10:54

Our DDs know they can have their ears pierced after they are 16. They can have their feet bound at the same time if they want.

CestTout · 05/06/2011 11:04

I would also agree with secondary age/early teenager. I had mine done for the first time at 16 through choice and they got infected. Had them re-done at 18 before I went out to trance for a year. Huge mistake, another infection after three days in France resulting in teary trip to docs then up to hospital (I am a huge wimp was in tears down phone to my dad who promised the doc would just give me antibiotics - he knew it would need cutting out but was only way to get me to go!)

Surprisingly enough 6 years later I have still not had them re-done!

belgo · 05/06/2011 11:08

If she still wants them in 6 months, I would let her. I had my ears pierced at age 6 and cannot understand what the fuss is about.

tallulahxhunny · 05/06/2011 11:10

both my girls have peirced ears. they are 6 and 8 but they were done when they were (gasp shock horror) babies!!

bellavita · 05/06/2011 11:13

TheFlyingOnion - I had mine done when I was 7 - I am certainly not chavy and neither are my parents.

ragged · 05/06/2011 11:24

Zip up your flame-proof suit, Tallulah. Wink

tallulahxhunny · 05/06/2011 11:27

Its zipped and my helmet is firmly on my head Wink

zukiecat · 05/06/2011 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
libbylobs · 05/06/2011 18:24

thanks girls i have talked with dd and its going to be summer of her 13th birthday , thanks all for advice.x

OP posts:
thegruffalosma · 05/06/2011 18:44

I'm going to go against the grain and say that 6 is old enough imo. I don't think it looks chavvy and I don't care if others do. The problem I have is when parents decide to have kids ears pierced who are too young to want them/consent. I had mine done when I was 16 and it bloody hurt - I couldn't lie on either side for a few days in bed.
I think six is old enough to decide they want them and understand that the price they have to pay is that it will hurt so no problem for me.
But OP YANBU to not want YOUR daughter to have them done yet or at all - your child your call (within reason).

giveitago · 05/06/2011 18:57

But what is too young? I see alot of posts saying that this age is OK and this age is not. Toddlers are a no go according to this thread.

What an earth makes is OK for a 13 year old and not a 6 year old and what on earth makes it OK for 6 year old and not a 2 year old.

To me a 6 year old in the UK having it done is basically to save them having it done later. In which case why not have it done when they are really wee.

Views of chavviness depends on your culture.

If you are lower middle class white and aspirational of course you'll think it low class.

On the other hand if you're asian it won't be an issue at all.

Who gives a fuck - really? And I say that as a middle aged brit. But I do find the lower middle class white aspirational lot really odd in this respect - like they think a bit of piercing will harm the future of their kid. LOL. Piercings don't affect educational achievement. Really, they don't.

ragged · 05/06/2011 18:58

... and then there are those of us who really don't give a flying Piglet about when other folk have it done (yes, gasp, we do exist).

thegruffalosma · 05/06/2011 19:07

giveitago - I would worry that a 2 year old wouldn't really 'get' a lot of it. Like that it would hurt and if they wanted to take them out there would still be a mark there. So 2 would be too young imo. I've nothing against dd having it done now (nearly 4) but she's never asked and if I mention it hurting it would be a total no-go anyway I suspect judging by the way she reacted to her needles.
It's only babies I have an issue with cos it's the parents decision and not the childs. Although I realise most people get it done to get it out of the way, because school isn't an issue or because they don't think it hurts them as much Hmm. That's the reasons I've seen on these threads anyway.
And people who say that it looks tacky or chavvy on babies and think that is more important that the fact it hurts make me Shock.
I've seen people say it's child abuse too which is ridiculous as I think the primary intent has to be to harm for it to be classed that way.

jenniec79 · 05/06/2011 19:19

I was 16.

Easter time - managed to talk mum around the school policy of no earrings before 6th form as there were only the exams left for the year.

She had hers done too, mthe same day!

ohnoudidnt · 05/06/2011 19:21

No too young.It looks so cheap on little ones.

peeriebear · 05/06/2011 19:32

I had mine done at 6 at the same time as my cousin. It was not considered chavvy at all then! I was surprised at how much it stung.

cory · 05/06/2011 19:32

I think it's perfectly acceptable to say "this is something I decide as a parent and I don't have to justify it to others either way". Whether it ends up being 6 or 16. I have gone for 16. My personal decision.

Original poster
libbylobs · 05/06/2011 19:43

to me it has nothing to do with class or culture, its just with sports dance and everything else she does at mo , i dont want it to cause problems .x

OP posts:
giveitago · 05/06/2011 19:57

Does it hurt? I doln't remember any pain and I had it done in an african country with a pair of curved siccors!

I just wish my mum had got my nose done at the same time as nearly fainted at the gun for my nose when I chose to have t done at 19. And the nose didn't hurt at all.

I don't have a daughter. To me - piercings are nothing, nada, zero. But if I thought I personally was chosing to inflict pain on my child, then I wouldn't and would instead be a big coward and leave it to her to have her own pain (if it's painful - no idea).

Up to parent. Nowt chavvy but bare ears are lovely too.
Not getting is not an issue for me - just hurting my kid would be. Earlier they have them done the earlier they'll get used to them. I remember at senior school the girls having them done really made such a bloody big deal of their piercings and kept fiddling with them and getting infections. That's the advantage of having it done early I guess.

But, I reiterate, I'm too much of coward to see any child of mine in any pain, even if it's for a second.

Gold is very expensive now and that, I would imagine, would be a consideration.

Mabelface · 05/06/2011 20:04

DD had hers done at the beginning of the school holidays before high school. My reasoning was that she was now old enough to be responsible for cleaning them properly.

MetalSian · 05/06/2011 20:41

I had mine done at 4 years old. No problem whatsoever.
I didn't cry, or moan.
And I am so used to them I don't even know they are there.

But everyone is different.
No matter what anyone on here says it is your choice.

My parents let me have mine done then, but I had to wait for 16 for any other piercings, of which I have plenty ;P.

I would say as long as your daughter understands she has too look after them and what that involves then there shouldn't be a problem.
She obviously knows her own mind enough to want them.

And why do people think they look 'Chavy'.
Everyone is individual and one set of pierced ears shouldn't make anyone a sterotype.