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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have not realised unprotected sex with Dh would get me pregnant?

91 replies

LolaRennt · 04/06/2011 16:18

3 years ttc my dd1.. loads of ttc sex, unprescribed clomid, everything before I was lucky enough to get pregnant.

So why is it now that she is 4 months old, and we've done it like twice, and I have only had 2 periods and she only finished BF last month do I suddenly find myself up the duff. I mean honestly. What the actual fuck.

DD was 2 weeks late, this baby they could end up with the same birthday.. I am a moron. Yes, I ABU

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 05/06/2011 10:00

congratulations.... sod's law strikes again.

QueenofDreams · 05/06/2011 10:00

congratulations! my sister was surprised to conceive easily second time round after years ttc her dd1 waiting list for fertility clinic and all that.

MIL knew a woman who had her two 7 months apart. Aparrently she conceived dc2 straight away and was then premature. the two children were in the same year at school.

CalamityKate · 05/06/2011 10:05

My DS1 (9) was 3 months old when I conceived DS2 (8). Oh how we laughed

I think you're more fertile when you've just given birth, or something.

Although it wasn't planned, I'm glad it turned out the way it did.

Congratulations

ipredicttrouble · 05/06/2011 13:36

CalamityKate - any tips for dealing with such small age gap. I had a major wobble when I first found out I was pregnant then all has been calm (despite some difficulties with the pregnancy) and now I'm starting to panic slightly with the new arrival being so imminent. There will be an 11.5 month gap between mine.

CalamityKate · 05/06/2011 14:19

Hmm. Well, I'm not going to lie - it was difficult in the early days. DS1 was obviously fascinated by the new arrival, and at just over a year old himself didn't understand why he couldn't poke DS2's eyes etc. In fact we had to resort to putting DS2 halfway up the stairs, in his car seat, behind the baby gate when we couldn't supervise. But within a week or so, the novelty had worn off, he'd pretty much lost interest and it was all fine :)

When DS1 was first born, I was obviously able to cater to his every whim/need but when you've got a young toddler and a baby, you just can't always rush to see to the baby every time it cries. As long as you're sure the baby isn't hungry/needs changing etc, sometimes you do just have to let him cry if you're in the middle of feeding the older one. But having already had one, you tend to be more relaxed anyway. Whereas with friends who have had a big gap, I hear things like "Oh God I'd forgotten just how demanding babies are!" - with a small gap, you haven't had time to forget so I think that makes it a bit easier. You're just used to it.

Once you're organised, it's not as difficult as you'd think - and I'm the least maternal/organised person I know

Looking back, I'm glad I had such a small gap. Clothes get passed down every few months as opposed to having to keep them in the loft for years/buying new because you didn't keep them. They pretty much have the same interests (you don't end up with one little one in soft play and one older one moaning how booooooring it is), they can share toys and books and later, they're generally better matched to play together.

It's fine

ipredicttrouble · 05/06/2011 18:43

Thanks for that! I love hearing all the positive aspects of a small age gap - keep them coming!

I think I'm just nervous about losing sleep again which would happen with having a 2nd baby anyway regardless of the age gap (DD currently sleeps for about 12/13 hrs every night ) and also having time to split myself between 2 such small children. I know that when DH is around we'll cope fine but am quietly horrified at the prospect of dealing with both of them on my own. Will I ever leave the house again?!

DD was/is a relatively easy baby and was definitely in a well-settled routine by 6 months so I'm just aiming for that with DC2. However, I'm well aware that this one could be completely different.

I hope that doesn't come across as too selfish, I'm just venting some of my anxieties here. I am also extremely excited about meeting my new LO

BTW, sorry for the hijack Lola

PhishFoodAddiction · 05/06/2011 22:55

ipredicttrouble I fell pregnant when DD1 was 3 months, it was a bit of a shock to say the least.

Most people when they found out looked at me like this and all I heard was how will you cope?

For me it really wasn't that hard just that DD2 was a breeze to look after compared to DD1.

The sleep deprivation was nowhere near as bad second time, maybe because I knew what was coming.

DD2 got herself into 3/4 hourly routine very quickly, and I worked DD1 around that and it worked out okay.

It was like a military operation leaving the house to start with as I used to take DD2 in the pram while DH pushed DD1 in the buggy (if we were going to visit family I needed the pram for DD2 to sleep in). For shopping and walks a sling was essential. Double buggy from when DD2 was about 3 months.

DD1 was very good with DD2- I had bought her a little doll before I had DD2, just to try and show her how to be gentle. DD2 would sleep in her pram downstairs and DD1 was too small to reach in so this avoided many poking-the-baby incidents!

I'm sure you'll manage just fine. I was panicking before DD2 came, but you soon adapt to having 2 children and splitting your time.

PigletJohn · 05/06/2011 23:05

Congratulations

I bet you're glad you've worked out what causes babies now.

ilove · 05/06/2011 23:09

There's 9.5 months between my youngest two...

ipredicttrouble · 06/06/2011 15:59

Thank you phishfood - so reassuring! It is really is nice to hear lots of positives because as you say most people in RL like to dwell on the negatives.

Ilove - wow, 9.5 months! How old are they both now?

ilove · 06/06/2011 23:58

They are 9.5 and 8 3/4 lol...come November I'll have 2 9 year olds for 3 months...

x2boys · 07/06/2011 07:37

i beleive you are more fertile for a few months after having a baby a friend of a friend tried for years to get pregnant eventually conceiving with ivf and what do you no a few months after having her longed for baby she was pregnant again naturally apparently you can conceive three weeks after giving birth congrats

Naetha · 07/06/2011 07:48

Congratulations! You' re in for a rollercoaster ride but it will be lots of fun :)

nappyaddict · 30/06/2011 02:29

Talk to PerpetuallyPregnant. She has a 48 week + 6 day age gap which I think translates to about 11 months + 1 week.

nappyaddict · 30/06/2011 02:45

Oh and Weesy - She had a 10 month + 12 day gap :)

biddysmama · 30/06/2011 07:52

congratulations :) we had unprotected sex on our wedding night thinking it would be ok, just the once but here i am pregnant again

chunkypickle... i tandem feed my 27mnth and 10 mnth old and i still got pregnant (9weeks atm)

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