To not want to have my friends DD on monday because we have an inset day at school

[SunshineisSorry]

This sounds very selfish doesn't it. But my friend has sort of asked me to have her DD on monday, well actually i sort of offered. She has had DD recently for a play date. Anyway - it would be quite nice for dd etc. But not heard from friend all half term, got text at weekend saying she was going to park, i pitched up at park, DD upset because she dint turn up, so i text to see if she were coming "no sorry changed mind, going shopping instead". Buggered our morning because DD expecting to meet friend in park didnt want to do anything else no matter what i suggested. Texted friend yesterday to say we would be at beach later in day - got text back saying, just going somewhere else this morning, have a nice day. No mention of monday anyway, so maybe she wont ask now.

Would i be unreasonable to not recharge my phone? I will be mighty peeved if i get a call on sunday asking me to have her DD, because obviously by that stage i'll bloody have to say yes else she wont find anyone else to have her.

Or actually, am I being churlish and should i just have her as i sort of offered in the first place?

What would make your dd happiest? Answer that, and go with it.

But I don't think YWBU to say your plans have changed on Sunday night and that you can't have her dd anymore. Your friend is obviously not completely adverse to plans changing last minute.

It depends how much you want the friendship.

i can see why you're annoyed, but if you've offered to take her, you'd be pretty unreasonable if you didn't. just don't offer again :)

What do you mean you sort of offered? Did she ask you to look after her dd because she has plans/work/appointment? If she is relying on you watching her dd because she has to work etc then I would do her the favour this time. If its just a play date and she has no plans phone her and rearrange it for another day?

It was just a very loose, if you get stuck, sort of offer - just feel a bit sort of used really. There are other slight issues that have made me feel like this, dont want to go into it, because it would identify parties involved easily.

There will be no question of me saying no, i never bloody can!

Ooh yes, difficult this!
I would be annoyed and suspcious that she is flaky and unreliable so would run a mile.

I am not very tolerant of selfish people. Arranging to meet up then "changing her mind" thats selfish and disregarding your time and feelings.

It was good of you to offer, but there is a limit to a persons kindness.

Ask your little girl what she wants and go with that. THEN dont offer again and avoid avoid avoid.

Thats what i would do anyway.

If you have trouble saying no, then actually make other plans for Monday. Plans that simply couldn't involve her dd. That way you won't be lying when you have to say no. It makes it much easier!

You have to arrange something that you cannot take another child to - maybe visiting family (you can combine it with fun day out with DD)

Text her to say that you hope she has found someone for her DD as you have made other plans.

"Been invited to MILs/BILs/SantaClaus on Monday so won't be able to take your DD. Would she like to come and play on Tues after school instead?"

I can understand why you are annoyed with your friend - she sounds pretty thoughtless. But - offering to take her DD aside - if your DD would like to play with hers, then maybe think of that rather than how your friend has annoyed you. You might think you're doing the friend a favour by having her DD but if your DD would like to play with her DD you're doing your DD a favour, so not having her is sort of cutting your nose off to spite your face a little. IYSWIM!

know what you mean, its funny, my DD has been struggling a bit at school, she has two particular friends, this is one of them. I had to speak to her teacher about something last week, and feel that the other mums have been cool with us since then. So, just because my DD isnt bright and competitive (its the compatitive that i take issue with) like their DDs she isn't good enough to play with over the half term break? makes me so sad

i would call her and ask if she has sorted arrangements for her dd on Monday. If not say you are happy to have her dd and would she please confirm if she still wishes you to by tea time today. If she says yes, then you explain what dd and her dd will do together. This will make it clear that you have a proper plan in place and could have made other plans if she flakes again. Personally I wouldn't arrange anything else with her - find dd some new friends with more reliable parents.

competative? errr competitive!