If aliens landed in England, they'd scarper back to outer space....

[Vagabond]

What would they think of our celebrity obsessed society, page three girls and our seeming devotion to nitwit footballers and reality tv.

Britain's Got Talent is a total joke! Talent? We used to laugh at Japanese reality shows with men eating bugs but we've taken it to the 9th degree with I'm a Celebrity. Ant and Dec are an embarrassment.

Please tell me how Jordan is a multi-millionaire on the back of a huge rack. How Kerry Katona lives in financial plenty when so many hard working women struggle to make ends meet.

It's almost embarrassing. Why is this culture? I really don't get it.

It's so utterly depressing that most young girls point to Cheryl Cole as an inspiration.

Why, why?

I think the aliens love it. They seem to make up the majority auditioning for Britain's Got Talent.

Yes but that's the problem. Aliens are already overrepresented as New Labour candidates.

Agree entirely that Ant and Dec are an embarrassment.

YABU... There's high-culture, low-culture, popular culture. Britain, like anywhere else, is a rich mix of the whole lot. We may have Ant and Dec but we've also produced Banksy, Bryn Terfel, Beryl Bainbridge, Tracey Emin, J K Rowling, Danny Boyle. Shakespeare is still performed in theatres the world over hundreds of years after his death - Katona and Price are a flash in the pan. Madame Tussaud's started life as a kind of early wax version of 'Hello'... now it's a fine old tradition. Cheryl Cole - girl from humble beginnings made good - is only doing what Cilla Black did 40 years earlier. It's all culture

Yes OP you missed Banksy off your list. If he doesn't head the cast of what you are complaining about, I don't know what does.

You don't think Banksy is talented?

Even his name with the "sky" ending epitomises the dumbing down that you are complaining about. Of course, he is in reality a public schoolboy, I believe. So it is all faux.

But all the rest of it doesn't really matter. People want to be attractive and liked and applauded for their talent. That's why they look up to people who receive that adulation. The only error is Banksy, but he is the establishment's darling, a public schoolboy boosted for the public's education.

Bamksy is a politically correct right-on "artist" that the Guardian and the establishment always give publicity to. I don't think he is talented; I think he is a privileged public schoolboy. He serves to hand out political messages to educate the people.

Here is the BBC giving Banksy publicity as he pushes the global warming political message to the public, just after all the world leaders had been discussing it at Copenhagen.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8425397.stm

Just because people like Cheryl Cole, doesn't mean that they are dumb or don't like other more serious things. It's only entertainment.

I don't think the Aliens would be interested in our TV schedule or newspapers. They'd be more interested in killing off the human race and taking over the world. You need to watch Independence Day.

Politically correct and right-on doesn't get you the popularity Banksy enjoys. His work is very well executed, original and unlike a lot of other artists, has a sense of humour underneath. Very un-establishment for that reason. BTW... nom-de-plumes and nicknames are in a grand literary/artistic tradition.

I think your title is so good that it should pass into national parlance!

I think politically correct and right-on gets you right to the top, because that suits the establishment. You won't find the BBC or Guardian mentioning any artists who are not politically correct.

They would never ever publicise any artists who drew murals saying global warming is nonsense. It's not right-on, it doesn't fit the agenda, it is a real challenge, unlike Banksy's faux challenge.

I don't think there's a place for snobbery. England has been very fond of vulgarity in popular culture for centuries and it's central to our national psyche. We've embraced music-hall, pantomime dames, saucy seaside postcards, Carry On Films... you name it. Britain's Got Talent used to be called 'Opportunity Knocks' and 'New Faces'. Jordan's just Barbara Windsor without the sense of humour. And Ant and Dec... how far do you want to go back for double-acts? I like belonging to a nation where the presentation of a chocolate willy at a hen night earns giggles. Try doing that in Holland and ... not so much as a snigger.

I agree that the dutch have a sense of fun. But - like a lot of other nationalities - they don't really get 'smut' the way the English do. Which reminds me. Benny Hill... there's another very English cultural icon.

In all seriousness, i think if aliens did turn up, from their point of view there wouldn't be a great deal to mark us apart from monkeys.

Things like x-factor are just glossy dancing monkeys with flashing lights.

Dance monkey, dance, bash a few text votes in , want to see monkey dance.

I'm with Steven Hawkins . If aliens did turn up it would't be to watch Saturday night telly or flick through OK magazine to follow the latest exclusives about Ms Price ( dance monkey dance ).

"Jordan's just Barbara Windsor without the sense of humour"

My nominee for quote of the week

perhaps, with a bit of luck, they will land in Wales!

Maybe they won't notice it! I don't because I don't read tabloids, gossip mags or have a tv connected to cable/aerial/freeview whatever.

You don't actually have to notice or partake of popular culture if you don't want to!!

If aliens did turn up in England they would probably get their heads stamped on by 15 year old toothless sub humans who would then ring Jeremy Kyle to talk about it.