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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to bevery disappointed that only 63% of women can DRIVE!! ffs

566 replies

JunoWatt · 02/06/2011 11:52

its like saudi arabia here
ONLY JUST OVER HALF OF US! GET A LICENCE LADIES

OP posts:
pigletmania · 04/06/2011 23:07

Riven this is a view from a car driver, I expect that if you ask non car drivers including myself we would not be embarrassed about not being able to drive. Being able to drive is not an essential life skill, it is a good skill to have if you can, but not the be all and end all. Being able to swim is a much more useful skill than driving, I would rather swim (which I can) than be able to drive.

NestaFiesta · 05/06/2011 08:26

Forget driving, that is not an essential skill, how about the numbers of young people leaving school not being able to read or write or do basic math or perform basic life skills such as cooking, and running a home including money management. Now that is embarrassing don't you think Hooray for pigeltmania- completely true!

Also I just dont see it as a necassary skill in Europe with the small distances, crowded cities and good public transpirt. Even in the US, friends in NYC and Chicago dont drive. They dont need too. Butmy sister in pheonix does as there arent even pavements in her neighbourhood and everything is twenty miles apart of sprawl.
The two countries are not comparable

pigeltmania and Riven have just said exactly what I was thinking.

We should stop thinking this is about British Woman being crapper than American women who can all drive and we should also be thinking about the more important fundamental life skills that people shamefully lack these days.

valiumredhead · 05/06/2011 08:32

You can't compare swimming to learning to drive! For starters it doesn't cost £40 plus a lesson to learn.

I know 2 women who desperately want to learn to drive but financially they simply can't afford to at the moment.

DrNortherner · 05/06/2011 09:05

Well I can drive, but I can't swim. What do you make of that?

I must add though, I never expect people to give me a lift on their backs as they are doing front call for 25m.......

Gonzo33 · 05/06/2011 09:15

I have a car and a motorcycle licence. I got my car licence at 17 and my bike licence at 29. I could not have lived where I did at 17 without a licence, and at the time I did not live with my parents.

I tried to do without a car for 12 months, ended up going 6 months max. I have two children and a husband that works away a LOT of the time, so need a car at the moment.

However I do respect people that choose not to own a vehicle and use public transport. Most of my experiences of public transport have not been great, but that may be because I am so used to getting in a car and going where I want when I want.

On the point of the elderly driving I don't think they should be banned from driving after a set age I think they should have a full medical. My Granddad still drives at 91, and he really should not. All he has to do though is sign a bit of paper to say he is fit to drive. Who is going to send that back saying they are not when it is their last bit of freedom from their wife

pigletmania · 05/06/2011 10:04

DrNortherner I was making a comparison as a poster said that after a certain age not being able to car drive is embarrassing rather like not being able to swim. Thanks Nesta its true though, essential life skills are: being able to read, write, do basic maths, and to be able to manage your money, as well as cooking, much more so than driving, whilst its good to have a licence and to be able to drive, is not imho an essential life skill. People can go through life and hold down jobs without being able to drive, but its darn right difficult if you cannot read or write, or do basic numeracy.

DrNortherner · 05/06/2011 10:27

Yes you can go through life without being able to drive, but imo it makes life much easier if you can drive. Before I could drive it affected what after school activities my ds could do as I had to think about getting him there and back, it affected what jobs I could apply for as I had to consider public transport routes versus school runs. Also, if your partner is the only one who drives, what happens if they have an operation or an accident that puts them out of action for a while?

I have been on both sides of the argument and used to get quite offended when people criticised my non driving life style, now on the other side of the fence I totally see what they mean and I would be lost without my car and my independance.

Riveninside · 05/06/2011 10:44

I just find cars a headache. The cost. Where to put them in a crowded town centre. Where to park them in crowded victorian streets. Bastard thing is a nuisance.
Dh, as a complete non driver never has this issue. His bicycle can be parked anywhere. His work commute always takes the same length of time as traffic codesnt affect him. He arrives in work relaxed. Never needs to fret about weight and doesnt need to waste money at the gym.
The more i think about it, the more i am thinking of ditching the motability car. It eats the money we need for dds powerchair.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 05/06/2011 10:49

Oh It's another slightly mocking thread from Cod about people that can't drive. Why do you do this? You are really funny, and your posts do make me laugh, but so often it is the type of humour directed at people who can't do something or wear something/do their hair in a way you deem unfashionable (or whatever). Funny but slightly unkind and likely to make a few peope feel inadequate. You post for a couple of pages, people get all excited and then you fuck of back to Twitter! Weirdo.

FWIW I can drive and feel indifferent about it, I couldn't care less wether people want to drive or not.

OracleInaCoracle · 05/06/2011 10:52

lol geraldine

Goblinchild · 05/06/2011 10:55

'I have been on both sides of the argument and used to get quite offended when people criticised my non driving life style, now on the other side of the fence I totally see what they mean and I would be lost without my car and my independance.'

But it is still a matter for the individual to decide, rather than a matter for others to criticise. What business is it of anyone else's?

noddyholder · 05/06/2011 12:29

Driving is just another useful skill. It makes your life easier if you live in the sticks and have a tricky job commute but it is not essential. I can plumb central heating and do electrics so it is very useful in an emergency and I don't need to rely on plumbers if the boiler goes or there is a leak etc. Anyone can learn this and more men seem to be able to tackle a plumbing disaster than women but I don't think its essential and don't think other women are inferior because they can't do it. We are all different.

giveitago · 05/06/2011 12:43

Everyone I know got their licence at 17 - but lots of people I know didn't have access to a car thereafter due to finances etc so now don't drive.

I've gone a similar route - I used my parent's car so was confident but with 3 years at uni without car and then two years overseas with no money for a car then you lose your driving ability.

It took me about 6 months of constant use of a car to get back into it and then I was carless again for another 10 years and it did make me fearful. Now I have kids I've had to just bite the bullet and learn confidence again but even to this day I'll avoid the motorways at peak hours. 20 years ago I was a good but aggressive driver.

Good skill but honestly if you don't have a car and don't have need to drive then it's no big deal.

I know more men who don't drive than women.

cory · 05/06/2011 14:15

DrNortherner Sun 05-Jun-11 09:05:41
"Well I can drive, but I can't swim. What do you make of that?

I must add though, I never expect people to give me a lift on their backs as they are doing front call for 25m......."

Fair enough- but do you often find that your friends organise their monthly get-together on some distant rock that you can only get to by swimming?

That was my experience: that I had no need of a car for myself, but found it difficult to keep up with people who always took car driving for granted.

The easiest time of my life for being without a car was when I lived in Sweden, not because distances were any shorter, but because none of my friends had a car either, so we just organised our social lives along non-driving lines.

Maggie1973 · 05/06/2011 20:15

I did pass my test but don't drive now due to finances and because i don't really need to. I walk everywhere if i can, it keeps me fit. If i did drive now i'd feel really lazy, but i realise that a lot of people need to drive due to their profession. It really is a personal choice.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 05/06/2011 21:33

I perfer to walk or cycle where I can too, for the reasons you say, Maggie, petrol is SO expensive now and also I would and do get fat when I use the car more...

mathanxiety · 06/06/2011 22:05

Why would women make that choice though and not men?

NestaFiesta · 06/06/2011 23:07

Math- Because women are sensible and practical and don't need to prove anything.

When I make a personal choice I never think "What would a man do?"

pigletmania · 06/06/2011 23:11

Exactly Nesta I make a choice for myself, considering different factors (finances, dyspraxia worrries) and not because of a man.

pigletmania · 06/06/2011 23:15

My main constraint is financial, I just cannot afford to learn, and to run a car on my monthly income (my dh needs the car for his job), we need the money to provide food, bills and clothing for dd, much more important than learning to drive at the moment. I will never say never, and would like to learn when we are financially more able to

mathanxiety · 07/06/2011 03:22

What if it was men who were actually more sensible and practical in this case? What if they had discovered something that gave them personal freedom and were prepared to work and try to earn enough to finance that freedom? Freedom to be mobile, to go where they pleased when they pleased, to do things on their own time (as my mum discovered when she first went out shopping in her little car), to accept a job that would take a train and a bus to get to if they were to rely on public transport?

It seems to be the complete opposite of sense and practicality when the result of your decision to leave the road to men and their phallic symbols is time of yours spent waiting for public transport, limitation of where you can live or where you can work, even limitation of what activities your DCs might engage in.

Why are women more likely than men to become martyrs when a family can afford one car? Doesn't that only reinforce a stereotype of male breadwinner and female sahm? I have no axe to grind against sahms as I am one myself, but I remember so many neighbours putting L plates in the family car and driving around the block, chainsmoking and holding the steering wheels for grim death as they practiced back in the Dublin suburbs in the 70s, and lo and behold, when they really wanted cars for themselves, money was scraped together somehow and little bangers were bought. Next came part time jobs... If some sort of symbolism is to be attached to cars, then there's also a lot of symbolism to families where 'the car' belongs to Himself and the missus has to be driven around.

Nesta -- Why do you think a woman who drives is 'proving' something? What is there to prove when it comes to women and driving?

Bogeyface · 07/06/2011 03:38

Ime men (boys) learn to drive as a hobby because its part of their social life particularly when they are under 25. But women and girls dont feel that need so tend to learn when they need to, either for work or when they have children. I have never met a girl go on about getting her driving license at 17 the way I have with teenage boys, almost all of DSs mates got their provisionals asap after their 17th birthdays.

And that consequently leads to the "him driver her driven" situation, except in my family as DH cant drive at 46 and has no intention of learning!

cory · 07/06/2011 07:52

I know men who weigh personal freedom to do as they please against the greater good of society and only drive when they need to.

NestaFiesta · 07/06/2011 08:30

Nesta -- Why do you think a woman who drives is 'proving' something? What is there to prove when it comes to women and driving?

I don't think that a woman (or a man) who drives is trying to prove anything, I am saying I have nothing to prove by not driving. I do not need to justify myself in having made a well informed decision to be a non driver. The only people who have a problem with it are people on forums who think I am reinforcing gender stereotypes.

mathanxiety · 07/06/2011 15:07

Such a difference between British and American teens -- all (or 99.9%) count down the days, hours and minutes until they have their licence.

Why do more British girls assume they will not need to drive? Is the fact that boys are keen on it offputting to them? Do families subtly discourage girls from driving? Is it similar to they dynamic where maths and physics are seen as boys' subjects?

Nesta, you may protest about reinforcing a gender stereotype all you like, but this thread has revealed that some women see large machines as belonging in the realm of men, phallic symbols and the like.