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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to bevery disappointed that only 63% of women can DRIVE!! ffs

566 replies

JunoWatt · 02/06/2011 11:52

its like saudi arabia here
ONLY JUST OVER HALF OF US! GET A LICENCE LADIES

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 04/06/2011 14:04

I'm surprised anyone can afford to take lessons these days - it's a fortune! Then actually running and maintaining a car as well! Shock

mathanxiety · 04/06/2011 17:05

I agree that everyone should be taught to use public transport (including manners and consideration for others) but how much is there to learn, really? OK, I grew up either walking, riding or taking the bus/train everywhere (including using the bus to go to all the hockey games I played with my entire school team, lugging the goalie equipment. Depending on where we were playing, we sometimes had a 2 hour trip to get to some away games).

DD1 was very familiar with the basic principles of US public transport when she went off to college in a major US city where you would be crazy to drive, but part of her orientation week was spent being taught the ins and outs of using the buses and trains. Some of her fellow students had never set foot on public transport in their lives, and it took them all of one day to learn that particular lifeskill. They were bright students, but still it's not rocket science. Even American tourists who probably drive everywhere at home get the hang of the Tube for the most part.

Since we are now all part of a global economy, I think it's crazy to be sending British students out into the world unable to drive, and seemingly not interested in learning how. It's incredibly insular, and limiting. University graduates may or may not all get work in Britain, particularly graduates in science and engineering. Irish students have always lived with the idea in the back of their minds that they may end up earning dollars and not euros, and I think Irish people in general are more positive about driving -- I think more would do it if not for the cost of buying and keeping a car.

JoySzasz · 04/06/2011 17:17

Some British even manage to spread their opinions about driving to Americans that might be visiting or intending to stayWink

My DH, despite having driven since 1977 a totally clean license, no accidents,driving on a 12 lane freeways and owning many cars ...still has to put up with my family and their "Oooh,haven't driven here though have you?"

Weird.

ilovesooty · 04/06/2011 17:50

he runs me about like a cab driver

Noticed this earlier. That attitude does annoy me. I found driving didn't come easily to me and I had to persevere. I'm now employed in a job which simply wouldn't be open to me as a non driver. My ex tried learning for a while but gave up: much easier for him to sit back and let me do all the driving. It certainly didn't do anything for the state of our marriage.

I have a friend whose wife has a licence: when they got rid of their second car I predicted that she'd never drive again and I was right. She expects to be taken to work and picked up, and never offers to take the wheel for a bit even on very long journeys. She's perfectly competent, just incredibly needy and expects everything doing for her. Even when she did have her own car he always put the petrol in (apparently she was afraid she might break a fingernail and didn't like standing in the cold).

pigletmania · 04/06/2011 18:03

Wish dh would run me about like a cab driver Smile nah its walking, bike, public transport or lifts (only if someone offers) for me.

LollipopViolet · 04/06/2011 19:21

mathanxiety, for some it may take more than a day to pick up those skills.

I'm visually impaired, hence no driving licence, and I did actually have training with a lovely lady, walking certain routes and learning bus routes etc. This was over a course of about 6 weeks, although obviously my case is different. I don't need a cane/guide dog but I do benefit from learning landmarks etc. Some people may have no vision problems or other sn, and it still might take them a while, everyone's different. I do think some kind of training would be good, maybe as part of PSHE or something, that's when mine was done.

Anyway, what I'm saying, in my usual rambly way, is that for me, it was very liberating but lovely to have someone there when I was first learning.

With trains, I went to places with friends first, then braved it on my own. I've only gone wrong once Grin

Tomorrow is my biggest challenge though, I'm going somewhere for 5 nights which will require me to change trains, which I've never done alone before, so that'll be an adventure.

I do use public transport wherever possible, but sometimes it's easier for me and safer to try and get a lift. Luckily my friends and parents (still live at home) are very good and will always offer - I sometimes turn the lift down in favour of a bus! But for example, at night, I prefer being picked up or getting a taxi because in the dark, it's harder for me to get my bearings. I always give petrol money, or in the case of one friend who won't take it, I give a bottle of wine every few weeks, which he will accept Grin I think I kept him and his DP stocked on wine through the ice hockey season Grin

Casey76 · 04/06/2011 19:23

I'm sorry but why do you care??

forehead · 04/06/2011 19:24

Ladies learn to drive. As far as i'm concerned it's a MUST. As soon as my dc's turn 17 they are having driving lessons.
Being unable to drive restricts you, particularly if you have children.
My dc's would be unable to take part in extra curricular activities if i couldn't drive . I would also hate to have to rely on anyone to get around.
I also couldn't do my job if i couldn't drive.
By the way i am aiming this post at those who have never bothered to learn to drive, not those who are anxious.

OracleInaCoracle · 04/06/2011 19:27

I could never be bothered to learn to drive. I dont expect anyone to drive me around and we live in a small village yet still manage to get around fine. being able to drive is not necessary, nor is it a "life skill". it might be handy, but no more than that imo.

PacificDogwood · 04/06/2011 19:37

There was a thread on here somewhere (maybe 'relationships'?) where some poor woman was v concerned about her freedom to take off if needed as her not-so-dear P had proposed she get rid of her car (for financial reason IIRC).
So, sometimes there ARE reasons that a car (and the ability to drive it, of course) can ensure more 'freedom'. I think examples like the above must be rare, I hope so anyway.
Also, I do agree that where you live makes a huge difference to how dependent you might be on individual transport.
And, how used you are to using busses Wink. I miss my bike - as long as I cannot fit 4DC on it, it's not realy an option. The local primary will not allow pupils to ride their bikes to school until they have done their proficiency test - in P6 Hmm.

Riveninside · 04/06/2011 19:39

How could driving be taught in school? Where would the cars come from? The cash? The road space? Who would apy for the 17 yo to apply for licences!
At a time when education budgets are being cut for academic learning and students share books, just how would it be taught?

Riveninside · 04/06/2011 19:45

"Ladies learn to drive. As far as i'm concerned it's a MUST. As soon as my dc's turn 17 they are having driving lessons.
Being unable to drive restricts you, particularly if you have children.
My dc's would be unable to take part in extra curricular activities if i couldn't drive . I would also hate to have to rely on anyone to get around.
I also couldn't do my job if i couldn't drive.
By the way i am aiming this post at those who have never bothered to learn to drive, not those who are anxious."

  1. Who can afford paying for their teens to learn to drive and get a car plus the £££££ on insurance. A minority i suspect.
  2. I have never ever not once been restricted by not owning a car. I have been round the world, done degrees, home educated my kids etc etc. We have done all sorts. Never onCe felt restricted.
  3. My kids did some activities but im more a believer in playing and making your own entertainment. We went to home ed ice skating and football and art and science. Lots of things
  4. I dont mind bus drivers getting me about
  5. Many many women hold down jobs but dont drive

Drive if you want too but please dont think non drivers and car freee people are restricted in any way. Making good choices helps but a full life is more than possible. And theres extra money thats not being spent on driving lessons and owning a car.
We chose to live in a city so could be car free. Dh has never driven. He has never been unemployed or retrsicted.

JoySzasz · 04/06/2011 19:50

riveninside it is taught the same way any other subject is,with funding set aside. The cars are owned by the school. Parents must pay for this too,but it is nothing compared to the UK.

It is not complicated,the UK always makes things harder than they need to be IMO.

The students go in groups, ( at the correct age15-16) to drivers ed,they study hours in the classroom and then are allowed to practice for a learners permit.
This is done in small groups.
There are rules about when they are allowed out till,and when they may carry passengers.

Americans understand that most driving skills are learnt when you are on your own,as you build confidence...

JoySzasz · 04/06/2011 19:57

Actually sorry,they rent the cars for a period :) not own.

valiumredhead · 04/06/2011 19:58

The American tests and British tests are non comparable according to my sister who had to take her test when she moved out there ( she soon realised she couldn't do anything without a car where she lived) She was so nervous about taking her theory test and she said it was so easy it was laughable, also the same with the practical.

Roads are huge there, parking spaces enormous and the majority or cars automatic and no roundabouts- BIG difference Grin

Riveninside · 04/06/2011 20:06

I dont see how schools or the LA could fund it. And many parents cant afford school trips let alone lessons.
Americans may ned to drive with endless suburbs and no public trasnport but that model doesnt work here.
Can pupils opt out if they dont want to or cant learn to drive?

Riveninside · 04/06/2011 20:09

I just dont see it as a necassary skill in Europe with the small distances, crowded cities and good public transpirt. Even in the US, friends in NYC and Chicago dont drive. They dont need too. Butmy sister in pheonix does as there arent even pavements in her neighbourhood and everything is twenty miles apart of sprawl.
The two countries are not comparable

OracleInaCoracle · 04/06/2011 20:15

agree with rivin. being able to dress yourself is a life skill. being able to cook yourself a meal is a life skill. driving a car is not.

Riveninside · 04/06/2011 20:32

The skill of cooking is certainly going down. I wonder what the gender split of hat is

JoySzasz · 04/06/2011 21:04

rivenyes,I believe they could,don't think it ever happens though.

Mainly because imo, it is such a non-issue here.

Having taken both tests(UK and US) I agree that the US is much more straightforward.

But,driving is the same anywhere really ...I know British people that have failed their US test after driving in the UK for YEARS!

There are no roundabouts,more Americans prefer automatics...but you wouldn't believe how many Brits get confused at STOP signsGrin

The whole UK system is crazy,why should you pay for a test if you fail?

More money for the Government.

I can't stand the whole "what attempt did you pass your test on ?"rubbish that is so prevalent in the UK ... it just puts learners off:)

absolutelynotfabulous · 04/06/2011 22:07

ilovesooty - I agree. Fancy wanting to be run around!! I'm shocked at the "poor little me" insinuations of some of the threads - I would simply be too embarrassed to NOT be able to drive! I can understand the reasoning behind not wanting to use cars, or not needing to..but IMHO driving is a skill that empowers, so why not?

We'll be claiming that women can't read maps next!!

mathanxiety · 04/06/2011 22:17

Of course it is going to take someone who is visually impaired or dyslexic to the point where they can't read instructions or a map to learn to navigate using public transport, but everyone else, including masses of immigrants to the UK, many of whom don't speak or read English when they first arrive, manages to learn and can learn fast.

Lollipop, hats off to you for attempting public transport. My mum's biggest fear when driving was her eyesight, as she had an eye op during her 30s and spent months wearing an eyepatch with only a pinprick open over both eyes, with three small children to take care of.

British and Irish drivers that I knew in the US couldn't believe the concept of the four way stop when they first saw them. I think driving is complicated in the British Isles by lack of courtesy. Windey roads and narrow streets are perfectly manageable, given a bit of courtesy by all. I think that's one of the main differences in driving between the US and the UK. Many more rude and aggressive drivers in the UK, and people doing things they have no business doing in the conditions that exist, despite the rigorousness of the test.

My DCs learned in school in the US in their sophomore year (2nd year of HS). All sophomores paid an extra registration fee (public schools charge a registration fee every year but no tuition) to cover the costs of school paperwork and DMV fees. School funds covered the rest. The school owned a fleet of cheap (and dinged) cars. Classes were held in the classroom (rules of the road and lots of tests), in a simulator (driving situations including hazardous weather conditions), and in the car (three students and one teacher). You couldn't miss more than one in-car session or you would fail the course. In-car sessions were 45 minutes every 7 days of driver's ed. After passing the test, teens had to log another 100 driving hours and also wait 6 months before going to the DMV and getting the licence. You can be spot checked at the DMV -- people applying for a licence for the first time were checked according to day of the month their birthday fell on. DS ended up taking a road test as his birth date was one of the three unlucky numbers on the day he went to get his licence. All applicants had to do the usual vision tests at the DMV whether they passed the school test or not.

Kendodd · 04/06/2011 22:26

"I would simply be too embarrassed to NOT be able to drive!"

I think driving is a little bit like swimming in that respect, once you get over a certain age it is a bit embarrassing if you can't do it.

And I wholeheartedly think we should have college courses in driving, funded much the same as other college courses. After all there are loads of driving jobs and I don't imagine any of them would take a young person on who couldn't drive and them teach them how.

pigletmania · 04/06/2011 22:50

Forget driving, that is not an essential skill, how about the numbers of young people leaving school not being able to read or write or do basic math or perform basic life skills such as cooking, and running a home including money management. Now that is embarrassing don't you think. Btw before I get slated, I do have Dyslexia and Dyspraxia so those things did not come easy to me at all, I had a very bad school experience, but I was determined that they would not get in my way, and that I would learn to read, and write and have a basic grasp of Maths.

Riveninside · 04/06/2011 22:53

Dh is 40 and not the least bit embarressed he cannot drive. Why should he be?
So much judgeyness.

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